Thursday, February 22, 2018

Denial ~ Thursday, 22 February 2018

Friends are few far between
decades ago all near
today no one is close

Rich relations as kids
dreams we shared made as real
as the world let us strive

Intense meaningful days
long past gone forever
nothing compares to youth

Endless and dull this life
political bias
as adults crush the rose

Never to smell again
what they mindlessly think
always remains the same

Delight in the difference
of days long past and times
with friends gone with the days

Parents either deceased
or like an iron rod
unbending always right

Ask me whom I love more
this tag-team duo
this united front drive

Relentlessly to crush
souls and dreams with support
to destroy the whole truth

Enter through the front door
none of my closest friends
knew alcoholism rules

Nothing matters after
years inside this prison
quarters shots is a game

Terror like threats to cut
off my hands at the wrist
with cleaver in hand says

More about my mother
insanity at home
no one else would see bite

Every hand that feeds me
like a much abused dog
their denial makes fiction

No one corroborates
with resistance fighters
no one ever believes

The facts of what takes place
inside the camps the hate
against underground schools

As thought overcomes lies
until thought confirms life
I think my addiction

Language games over drugs
running over drinking
welcomes a den of thieves

Wednesday, February 21, 2018

☆ Drowning ~ Wednesday, 21 February 2018

Tristan sad and lonely
after leaving art school
for one year nobody

Remains in touch reaches
out to talk on the phone
or to meet in person

Under these conditions
he calls fellow students
his cohort not his friends

Stupid categories
speak volumes about him
his mind and his moody

Trust issues transparent
to nobody no one
knows how much he suffers

Ignorant from childhood
with alcoholism
its effects on wisdom

Nobody said how much
pain and sorrow this life
would sow as dividends

Guessing no one can see
behind the obvious
facade now he knows why

Nicolette the homeless
woman cries in public
crocodile tears offer

Only the smallest lie
before the full monty
if he pays for her time

But like the plague he walks
the other direction
knowing full well her game

Only money makes some
people happy until
it runs out then a crime

Decidedly must take
place call it poverty
by those who made their name

Yelling at underlings
to make sure jobs get done
stocks soar and products fly

Because I could not stop for Death ~ Wednesday, 21 February 2018

Nothing helps anymore
maybe if I'm lucky
the next car just won't stop

Only death can alert
authorities to pay
attention to danger

Brain damage bodily
harm no one else will care
they'll blame me as reckless

Only sleep will silence
my voice a silencer
a handgun the big sleep

Do your worst world to end
my life my spirit laughs
in the face of folly

You believe ignorance
is bliss because you read
it over and over

Again never knowing
the source of the quote
nor the poke in the eye

Still you persist to drive
with total disregard
for the lives of strangers

Kill me with one false move
I'll never represent
this country if you bless

Sleepy-headed runners
with their eternal rest
too poor for grave or ash

Maybe your insurance
will cover my murder
no matter how silly

Even vehicular
homicide sounds to ears
where insurance covers

The cost of accidents
no fault you live I die
no one ever to cry

Over my corpse halted
during my second wind
such is life such is death

Wishful thinking to die
doing something you love
during sudden impact

Ask me if I'd rather
die in some other way
other than a car crash

I run for miles and miles
in rain in snow in heat
almost any weather

To meet my finale
like a scene in a film


life goes on that's a fact

Tuesday, February 20, 2018

Repetition ~ Tuesday, 20 February 2018

Is it too late to start
over again my friend
is it too late to start

Never will I travel
never will I return
never will I begin

Virtue comes with conscience
conscience comes with vision
vision comes with foresight

Is it too late to see
the stars in the deep blue
is it too late to see

Time asks no one to wait
but death asks us to sleep
time asks no one to wait

Ask not when time will end
neither bang nor whimper
ask not when time will end

Terror hides in the past
within the mist and fog
terror hides in the past

Is it too late to ask
for time to heal my wounds
is it too late to ask

Only death knows the end
who what where when why how
only death knows the end

Never will I forget
never will I forgive
never will I forget

Tell me when I can start
to let go of the past
tell me when I can start

Only if I forgive
will I learn to forget
only if I forgive

Vision acts as conscience
conscience acts as witness
witness acts as hindsight

Only after my death
will time ask me to wait
only after my death

Yes sir no sir yes sir
my days make me subject
yes sir no sir yes sir

Ask me not when the end
begins for each of us
ask me not when the end

Grief and sorrow follow
my days until the end
grief and sorrow follow

Enter into the clouds
before I see the stars


enter into the clouds

I, Caesar ~ Tuesday, 20 February 2018

Friends Romans countrymen lend me
your ears I come in peace
Like any other citizen
I bear the sword in case
Emergency measures take place
and I'm forced to defend
Symbols of honor I hold true
wealth and power cannot cease
Royalty and empire hold back
the barbarian hordes
Understand our centurions
allow us to save face
Our privilege to own property
our rule cannot descend
Young men must not murder in vain
nor die without virtue

Killers of our enemies live
until they fall on swords
Cut their own throats with their daggers
murderers without shame
Understand our centurions
are not good citizens
Forget the fact they are human
soldiers live without blame
Of course they have no place as men
as Roman denizens
Greet them warmly before their deaths
good beautiful and true

Monday, February 19, 2018

☆ Runaway ~ Monday, 19 February 2018

Tristan trusting no one
took to the road and left
town let down by family

Rocked by party people
papa held a bottle
of feni in his hand

Unconcerned about work
the next day his children
hidden away upstairs

Sleeping despite the noise
mama hands shot glasses
to the school faculty

Tristan noticed at school
the next day hungover
teachers too drunk to teach

Ignorant to the needs
of children the adults
watched the surf feet in sand

No one cared what happened
that day at school they knew
their teachers had affairs

Groping for the light switch
to pull in his bedroom
he decided to steal

Nathan's motorcycle
riding along the coast
to toast girls at the beach

Only he didn't know
when or if to go back
home as a runaway

Biker without parents
who could give him their love
full respect and support

Only he didn't know
where the road would lead him
he didn't have a say

Didn't care when to stop
to settle down take root
in the redwoods to sort

Yesteryear in his head
the fresh air in the north
gave his dream it's appeal

Sunday, February 18, 2018

Retribution ~ Saturday, 18 February 2018

It takes just one person
to spoil a good party
or ruin someone's night

Still you persist problem
child you remain present
for whom I must account

If your question evades
my sense of dignity
you dig my grave to steal

The very pungent corpse
you believe worth value
money pleasure despite

Being dead rattle bag
of bones as the question
you ask acts like a spear

Enter the racist world
black against the brown man
the difference a few shades

Conceive of history
as against your people
from whom do you descend

Are you really black man
were all your ancestors
black ask for a recount

Understand this my friend
I think you ask of me
this question as I peel

So many layers past
of genetic false pride
like Henry Louis Gates

Even if you believe
you are the one black man
who laughs while others share

In your pointed humor
the institutional
racism you see degrades

Murders sends off to war
draft cards in hand locks up
in prisons to pretend

Black people are worthy
only to live as slaves
of a system whose rules

Lack their favor I see
you ask little boy blue
if the big bad wolf eats

As many white children
as she does black children
listen to the three fates

Chew the bones of women
children and men they rape
in institutions schools

Killers like yourself walk
the streets drive fancy cars
your purpose seeks defeat

Nemesis ~ Sunday, 18 February 2018

I ask for your ID
when you pay by credit
you act fresh off the boat

Simply put you ask me
an offensive question
is it because I'm black

It is because in fact
you are privileged you ask
not because you feel free

Truthfully you are vain
an egotist with friends
trying to get my goat

Because you appear weak
with total disrespect
in my eyes you are lost

Endlessly humorous
this question you must ask
as if slaves weren't as whipped

Careful as you stumble
downstairs you ugly drunk
were you not born to stink

Answers to your question
are infinite with praise
for those who watch your back

Umbrella ancestors
who cover you in rain
who follow in rough seas

Struggles for civil rights
for you to ask questions
were their problems to solve

Exactly what do you
plan to do to achieve
such greatness at what cost

I question your intent
as you enter to drink
watch out you may get tripped

Mistakenly in fact
by hubris your own pride
flat on your face you think

Because you are black facts
do not pertain to you
but you are wrong you shout

Loudly in a cavern
I am the only black
man who asks the question

Arguably you're great
because you're simply blind
to my sense of resolve

Call me a company
stooge if it makes you feel
human without a doubt

Karma waits to recall
your memory you fall
on swords by suggestion

Friday, February 16, 2018

Marching Orders ~ Friday, 16 February 2018

Welcome the clouds and sun winter comes like a friend leaves an unwelcome guest
Arguments with strangers never welcome but friends become the worst by choice
Xerox my heart copy simulacrum of tears lachrymose for a mouse
Maw of a lion roars in laughter and boredom devours so-called friends lest
Another lion eats them for supper to sip on flesh and blood and snack
Noble as kings and queens lions always pretend to care about their prey

Frighten me with friendship no more I celebrate the bullet before fools
Reserve me a table to suffer damaged cards where I sit and rejoice
Inventing language games flirting with the dealer to crush her like a louse
Entertaining family and friends never at home but in Reno to show
Nothing comes from nightmares except visions and dreams prophecies and a pact
Devils demand details expect the utmost grace bite my ass to obey

Nightmares come with false friends honey badgers follow sweet as flesh-eating ghouls
Only God demands less than these natty bumpkins from cities like New York
Moscow Kiev Krakow missing the boat they fight to prove they know what lasts
Only he who endures history can survive hardships better to flow
Rivers from source to mouth words prove little to naught love tainted like a cork
Eaten away with time wine turned to vinegar sour to taste bitter blasts

Thursday, February 15, 2018

Unfit ~ Thursday, 15 February 2018

Dear Raymonde (Madame Niel),

          It has been many years since you left this country, only to take a flight back to France to return after becoming sick, only to take shelter with your sister, to quit teaching here in the States, maybe we'll meet again, though to be so lucky, I doubt the dumb monkey, eloquent in his speech by saying not a word, thus to speak no evil, damned in America, never to live abroad, unlike other students.

Doomed from the start, from birth comme les poètes maudits, I wish I were stillborn, as a Non-Resident Indian in Memphis, I studied French to lick many assholes to get ahead, but had I learned Spanish, I'd watch the gates never bar my entry to getting the best jobs with monolingual cooks, entertainingly dumb, thus to speak no evil, backbones wait to refill despairingly thirsty customers with a lack of basic fluency.

Deemed unfit to study in art school from a lack of funds, I welcome scorn eloquently spoken by my peers, graduates with enough influence, engaged with the right faith in a system that helps persons unlike myself, mentally unstable since childhood from parents who themselves cooked the books empirically to hide the illness on each side of their families, their sense dutifully made them suppress and deny truth, I praise my lack of wealth.

Wednesday, February 14, 2018

Eighth Place ~ Wednesday, 14 February 2018

I was a runner once
and young before progress
set me back thirty years

Never as a freshman
in high school did I think
I'd fall a fetal ball

Sunset League Finals killed
my career as a star
between my legs the pain

Understandably great
torsion of the testis
after the race no tears

Language could never speak
the torment I suffered
curled up like a baby

To get kicked in the balls
lasts maybe ten minutes
this required surgery

Inside they shaved my crotch
gave me a sedative
dislodged my testicle

No one could understand
the trauma or explain
how rarely runners fall

Just after finishing
a race trace my disgrace
somewhere inside my brain

Undue stress the next year
made my running career
rife with disappointment

Running ever slower
third year I quit the team
yellow inside maybe

Yes I chose to play drums
instead of run distance
under oath perjury

If I make false statements
you'll throw the book at me
as judge to ethical

Notations in my verse
I write down memories
a jury of my peers

Decide if I'm worthy
my word as bond to read
after a hundred years

Each time I run I know
my tolerance for pain
is profound but ointment

Exacts revenge decades
lost with a scholarship
a full ride to college

Doesn't matter madness
destroyed me at twenty
my mind had lost its edge

Coffee without Honey ~ Wednesday, 14 February 2018

Dear Professor Miłosz,

         All I ever wanted to do was to play drums, but now I write letters to dead poets and popes in the hopes that support is never so far gone, as I have found myself so far from my homeland, where hippies come to stay, too poor ever to leave, where they will break my thumbs to show me a good time, gangsters and criminals break ground as residents having found their family abroad in a country where I cannot return.

All I ever wanted was to create music to compose symphonies, concertos, sonatas, sound collage of sparrows, noises at the airport, the rush of flood water swirling down the sewer, the silent grains of sand tumble like young gymnasts across a spring-step floor with more bounce for your buck, after an hour, the grains collect themselves to rest like children with no sense of freedom, liberty, injustice, hopelessness, trapped within a glass urn.

All I ever wanted was to write poetry, among my own cronies, time and again, I found the words I wrote were lies, only to please others, just like Billy Collins, I wrote pedestrian drivel to make money, a living in writing what others want to hear, I couldn't give a fuck that I was a sell out, a phrase without meaning, our day and age, brothers and sisters, is empty, virtual, without breath, coffee without honey.

Sunday, February 11, 2018

"Quasi una Fantasia" (Almost a Fantasy) ~ Sunday, 11 February 2018

Does a mirror reflect
in darkness without light
if it could would I see

Every detail of time
past present and future
as if on a flat-screen

Television my days
pass as if to reflect
on misbegotten youth

Adventures forgotten
the details lost hindsight
as memory is free

Invents fictional worlds
out of details my life offers
to mix and meld at will

Living out of denial
liars who won't affirm
their own actions deceit

Hang the devils with ropes
from rafters ignorant
of the damage they've done

Imagine a childhood
surrounded by serpents
rats and mindless oxen

Demeaning with the most
deliberate intent
brother who spits in broth

Devils laugh to my face
as a child my disgrace
found family first insane

Engage with memory
with parents and siblings
with rent and bling to fill

No one's coffers to share
the wealth of immigrants
bound to watch my defeat

Define my own response
the roar of a lion
never talk on the phone

Ever the son second
born the throwaway son
found lost in a basket

Casual casualty
laugher behind the back
in my face disgrace full

Erase humanity
this prophecy terror
befalls our times profane

If Moses were treated
as a child such as I
the Bible never writ

Troubles in Ireland
the Sands in the hourglass
falls my childhood so dull

Wednesday, February 7, 2018

Mensch ~ Wednesday, 7 February 2018

Ask and I will tell you
no I'm not a robot
but sometimes I wonder

Nothing but thought itself
can disprove this theory
of sensational fact

Sense impressions are all
we ever feel and know
beyond thought in itself

Wonder whether I am
a robot how absurd
but they ask and answer

Entering with a check
as if robots could not
figure out their website

Really what's the difference
between man-made robots
and humans without souls

Take for instance a man
who waits for a school girl
to capture and release

Her not unlike a fish
but he's no fisherman
of men but a sex act

Evil and malignant
like cancer even worse
since surgery brings health

Questionably to some
but the harm just one man
can do to young women

Understand I am not
a feminist I watch
the news and see men bite

Egotistically taste
the blood of their victim
then leave her with a foul

Stench the rest of her life
a scent of victimhood
survivor never cease

The need to redefine
and reclaim her childhood
lost to lusty adults

I am no humanist
but I care much too much
about how we suffer

On the question whether
I have never done wrong
I reside in the den

Note my iniquity
I too am male a man
it's as if we've joined cults

Sex and status define
our character nothing
else matters but laughter

Words from Beyond the Grave ~ Wednesday, 7 February 2018

Son I send you these words
from my little tin box
at the cemetery

Your older brother knew
to take care of family
parents wife and children

Mistake number one came
when your mother gave birth
to you our second son

Mistake number two came
when we let you marry
outside the Church scary

Entering into vows
without the Church to help
you decide your fortune

Take your brother as prime
an example of faith
unlike my young villain

Rui you were my son
you did not come to say
goodbye so we are done

Your sense of duty lacks
sense is utter nonsense
and amounts to nothing

Mistake number three came
when you divorced your wife
if it were opportune

Indeed as you insist
to disassemble love
why didn't you return

Reasonably the Church
would annul your marriage
without children to speak

Rely on your parents
to show Exhibit B
the fact remains you learn

On your own terms you choose
to see only mistakes
others make like a freak

Ready to question all
but himself your marriage
your life not mine so sing

Tuesday, February 6, 2018

A Little Bit Longer ~ Tuesday, 6 February 2018

Standing at the bus stop waiting in wind and snow freezing my hands and feet
In the bitter winter cold after a twelve mile run sweat dripping down my back
Mark my words Chicago zaps my strength freezing blood in the veins to my heart
Muscles numb with ice cold blood creeps up arms and legs killing me on State Street
Enter the moment death decides to deliver me body breath and soul
Returning me to meet my maker the poet and architect of time

Diminishing returns when I generate heat while running just to watch
Internal organs fail as the cold runs its course through my bloodstream attack
My extremities first to gain the upper hand in a fight where to chart
My experiences in battle are zero against such a villain
Existential struggle with an original agonist has one goal
Reflect on past mistakes to cleanse a lost spirit to learn just how to climb

How to reach up and grasp rung after rung to pull myself to taste the scotch
Ambrosia the nectar of the Highlands water to drown in the river
My thirst like Tantalus dehydrated hungry seeking sustenance fast
My bones begin to feel a cryogenic chill not unlike Bob Dylan
Engaging with the jewel the pink diamond prism causing me to shiver
Rest in state until heat from crematorium flames licks flesh meant to last

Saturday, February 3, 2018

Asterion ~ Saturday, 3 February 2018

Given the Minotaur's morbid fear of the dark it's no wonder he hid
Only waiting to die a god in an alcove an idol to no one
Diminished in value compared to the white bull whom his mother adored
In fact adultery bore little weight the king banished her son to rid
Notions of bestial fornication from minds close to his own black heart
Against his counselors' wishes he shut the boy up inside an alcove

Litmus tests for leaders already in office always pass never fail
Intercession by third parties to go between the mother and her son
The bastard son of god or a bull matters not since he fell on a sword
The game of hide and go seek inside an alcove laid out unlike a maze
Labyrinthine design within the palace gates kept the monster apart
Enticingly hidden from his mother the queen a tapestry she wove

Arrestingly by hand about her sudden love for the white bull the veil
Lifted to show deceit by a god dishonored without a sacrifice
Clearly made by the king the gift of a white bull an offer from the god
Onus to bear the king negligent in duty to slay and set ablaze
Viscera for the god and victuals for his kin his sin sent shame a price
Exacting his conscience with a deformed son born to his wife spare the rod