Black Sheep ~ Wednesday, 28 February 2018

Account to whom what choice

did I have growing up

with hypocrite parents

Case closed never open

disguised so none could see

the lies behind our doors

Creatures of bad habits

drink to excess often

somehow make it to work

One and all loved father

but me his punching bag

pugilist without sense

Under circumstances

beyond my own control

I your second-born son

Nothing but second rate

under your roof I held

much promise for trap floors

Tamed as a wild monkey

you always said you found

me in a basket words

Absent of love malign

and malicious you chose

family on your own terms

By chance our paths diverged

you stayed near warm weather

I found all four seasons

If I mattered to you

I never knew you felt

anything but deep shame

Labels by the doctors

you took me to needing

no second opinions

If your sister were sick

I could be sick as well

nobody was to blame

Take genetics as fact

I was given no choice

thrown out like spoiled onions

You spoke often about

accountability

see red flags hear alarms

Cosmic Dust ~ Tuesday, 27 February 2018

Tonight, on my way home, walking after dinner at work and a shift drink, I saw a shooting star. I did not know my heart well enough to wish big or small or not at all. In effect, I observed the event as a type of strange coincidence. I spoke with a buddy at work about my string of bad luck for eight years. But only one person matters through thick and thin who is my rock and friend. My girlfriend supports me as a man treads water trying hard not to drown. If I thought of my mom and brother as the star flashed brightly above me, or money or world peace, none of it holds water as my love keeps me safe, watching me tread water, to raise myself above those hurdles of my past. Obstacles lose value as time move forward past the present always gone. The shooting star compared to you means nothing but hot air and gas in space. A ball of flame and dust. Thanks to my sweetheart, Pam, I know the real difference between a cosmic fart and living here on earth. I feel grounded, my head not so much in the clouds.

Speechless ~ Tuesday, 27 February 2018

In my rearview mirror

an angel steel blue gaze

with a gun in her hand

Nothing to do but drive

not sure where to but she

puts the gun out of sight

Me I'd drive fares to hell

and back for this beauty

then she says other way

You get the gist I drive

not sure where then she says

stop wait like falling sand

Released from her control

I think for a moment

to flee get away fast

End up engine silent

unril she becomes real

again in my back seat

Angels don't just appear

as if falling like rain

from the bluest of skies

Remember my angel

entered my cab soundless

field mouse clutched by a kite

Very much how I felt

like death was immanent

at the end of each day

I thank the universe

for my pathetic life

to show my gratitude

Even though I don't feel

grateful to whatever

for this life for my past

Wish on a shooting star

I don't know what to ask

a reprieve from my beat

Maybe she knew my past

intentionally found

my cab my web of lies

Instinct told me to run

get away while I can

but this kite clutched the mouse

Resolved to eat her prey

or feed her brood my flesh

torn apart limb from limb

Really I never saw

her wings her reflection

in my rearview her mood

Ordinary people

don't have her attitude

her focus made me douse

Real flames within my heart

with gasoline I sat

rapt ecstatic and dumb

Willow ~ Monday, 26 February 2018

When forests burn I learn

to look within to see

the inferno inside

I rage within this cage

I made solely myself

for myself called silence

Livid beyond belief

I ask why I am me

why I burn down forests

Language cannot explain

my actions to others

inside I feel no pride

Only when I begin

to let the embers dim

I feel a sense of calm

When forests burn I learn

to account for my sins

to accept my defects

Of character weakness

to overcome my true self

to conform to the rules

Remember I am not

like others I inform

the world in my defense

Defiance rules my thoughts

I offer you the bird

to which the defense rests

Ask yourself if you feel

none of the laws make sense

these are the trees I burn

I learn from my actions

not ever to get caught

let others buy the farm

No one can say I'm wrong

without saying my thoughts

make for social rejects

Missing from this picture

of systems of justice

is why an outlaw cools

Your glass of Scotch whisky

with cubes of ice instead

of lukewarm well water

Perhaps your bartender

has a charming appeal

a glint in her steel gaze

Only she knows what burns

best brighter and faster

than any star I turn

Strangers into new friends

from one bar to the next

I don't love your daughter

To settle down make roots

by the lake a willow

to cry before the blaze

En passant ~ Thursday, 22 February 2018

As we all know mistakes

made were mine mine alone

no one else was at fault

To blame somebody else

in place of me is wrong

I the child was to blame

Reason should never try

to make sense of events

that took place long before

I read philosophy

in college to make sense

of my childhood gestalt

Under no conditions

should any reader hold

someone else to account

My life I choose freely

I acted as I did

a child who could not know

That day I did something

wrong so wrong my mother

made me take off my clothes

Enter the atrium

naked from head to toe

between two doors a frame

Removed my nakedness

from the rest of the world

no one knows anymore

Really the facts behind

this event I was bad

as the bad son I stole

Observe my mad childhood

where I could not make sense

on which dark horse to mount

Race away from my home

from the terror within

myself as rivers flow

Threats like these were common

I made mistakes a child

must be punished to pose

Hereafter no future

threat to society

they must beat the child down

Realize submission

power within the chain

of command never rests

Entirely in the hands

of he who makes mistakes

unless to show the whole

Argument gets denied

as lies false memories

fiction read by a pawn

Taken off the chessboard

once captured en passant

life is full of such tests

Denial ~ Thursday, 22 February 2018

Friends are few far between

decades ago all near

today no one is close

Rich relations as kids

dreams we shared made as real

as the world let us strive

Intense meaningful days

long past gone forever

nothing compares to youth

Endless and dull this life

political bias

as adults crush the rose

Never to smell again

what they mindlessly think

always remains the same

Delight in the difference

of days long past and times

with friends gone with the days

Parents either deceased

or like an iron rod

unbending always right

Ask me whom I love more

this tag-team duo

this united front drive

Relentlessly to crush

souls and dreams with support

to destroy the whole truth

Enter through the front door

none of my closest friends

knew alcoholism rules

Nothing matters after

years inside this prison

quarters shots is a game

Terror like threats to cut

off my hands at the wrist

with cleaver in hand says

More about my mother

insanity at home

no one else would see bite

Every hand that feeds me

like a much abused dog

their denial makes fiction

No one corroborates

with resistance fighters

no one ever believes

The facts of what takes place

inside the camps the hate

against underground schools

As thought overcomes lies

until thought confirms life

I think my addiction

Language games over drugs

running over drinking

welcomes a den of thieves

☆ Drowning ~ Wednesday, 21 February 2018

Tristan sad and lonely

after leaving art school

for one year nobody

Remains in touch reaches

out to talk on the phone

or to meet in person

Under these conditions

he calls fellow students

his cohort not his friends

Stupid categories

speak volumes about him

his mind and his moody

Trust issues transparent

to nobody no one

knows how much he suffers

Ignorant from childhood

with alcoholism

its effects on wisdom

Nobody said how much

pain and sorrow this life

would sow as dividends

Guessing no one can see

behind the obvious

facade now he knows why

Nicolette the homeless

woman cries in public

crocodile tears offer

Only the smallest lie

before the full monty

if he pays for her time

But like the plague he walks

the other direction

knowing full well her game

Only money makes some

people happy until

it runs out then a crime

Decidedly must take

place call it poverty

by those who made their name

Yelling at underlings

to make sure jobs get done

stocks soar and products fly

Because I could not stop for Death ~ Wednesday, 21 February 2018

Nothing helps anymore

maybe if I'm lucky

the next car just won't stop

Only death can alert

authorities to pay

attention to danger

Brain damage bodily

harm no one else will care

they'll blame me as reckless

Only sleep will silence

my voice a silencer

a handgun the big sleep

Do your worst world to end

my life my spirit laughs

in the face of folly

You believe ignorance

is bliss because you read

it over and over

Again never knowing

the source of the quote

nor the poke in the eye

Still you persist to drive

with total disregard

for the lives of strangers

Kill me with one false move

I'll never represent

this country if you bless

Sleepy-headed runners

with their eternal rest

too poor for grave or ash

Maybe your insurance

will cover my murder

no matter how silly

Even vehicular

homicide sounds to ears

where insurance covers

The cost of accidents

no fault you live I die

no one ever to cry

Over my corpse halted

during my second wind

such is life such is death

Wishful thinking to die

doing something you love

during sudden impact

Ask me if I'd rather

die in some other way

other than a car crash

I run for miles and miles

in rain in snow in heat

almost any weather

To meet my finale

like a scene in a film

life goes on that's a fact

Repetition ~ Tuesday, 20 February 2018

Is it too late to start

over again my friend

is it too late to start

Never will I travel

never will I return

never will I begin

Virtue comes with conscience

conscience comes with vision

vision comes with foresight

Is it too late to see

the stars in the deep blue

is it too late to see

Time asks no one to wait

but death asks us to sleep

time asks no one to wait

Ask not when time will end

neither bang nor whimper

ask not when time will end

Terror hides in the past

within the mist and fog

terror hides in the past

Is it too late to ask

for time to heal my wounds

is it too late to ask

Only death knows the end

who what where when why how

only death knows the end

Never will I forget

never will I forgive

never will I forget

Tell me when I can start

to let go of the past

tell me when I can start

Only if I forgive

will I learn to forget

only if I forgive

Vision acts as conscience

conscience acts as witness

witness acts as hindsight

Only after my death

will time ask me to wait

only after my death

Yes sir no sir yes sir

my days make me subject

yes sir no sir yes sir

Ask me not when the end

begins for each of us

ask me not when the end

Grief and sorrow follow

my days until the end

grief and sorrow follow

Enter into the clouds

before I see the stars

enter into the clouds

I, Caesar ~ Tuesday, 20 February 2018

Friends Romans countrymen lend me

your ears I come in peace

Like any other citizen

I bear the sword in case

Emergency measures take place

and I'm forced to defend

Symbols of honor I hold true

wealth and power cannot cease

Royalty and empire hold back

the barbarian hordes

Understand our centurions

allow us to save face

Our privilege to own property

our rule cannot descend

Young men must not murder in vain

nor die without virtue

Killers of our enemies live

until they fall on swords

Cut their own throats with their daggers

murderers without shame

Understand our centurions

are not good citizens

Forget the fact they are human

soldiers live without blame

Of course they have no place as men

as Roman denizens

Greet them warmly before their deaths

good beautiful and true

☆ Runaway ~ Monday, 19 February 2018

Tristan trusting no one

took to the road and left

town let down by family

Rocked by party people

papa held a bottle

of feni in his hand

Unconcerned about work

the next day his children

hidden away upstairs

Sleeping despite the noise

mama hands shot glasses

to the school faculty

Tristan noticed at school

the next day hungover

teachers too drunk to teach

Ignorant to the needs

of children the adults

watched the surf feet in sand

No one cared what happened

that day at school they knew

their teachers had affairs

Groping for the light switch

to pull in his bedroom

he decided to steal

Nathan's motorcycle

riding along the coast

to toast girls at the beach

Only he didn't know

when or if to go back

home as a runaway

Biker without parents

who could give him their love

full respect and support

Only he didn't know

where the road would lead him

he didn't have a say

Didn't care when to stop

to settle down take root

in the redwoods to sort

Yesteryear in his head

the fresh air in the north

gave his dream it's appeal

Retribution ~ Saturday, 18 February 2018

It takes just one person

to spoil a good party

or ruin someone's night

Still you persist problem

child you remain present

for whom I must account

If your question evades

my sense of dignity

you dig my grave to steal

The very pungent corpse

you believe worth value

money pleasure despite

Being dead rattle bag

of bones as the question

you ask acts like a spear

Enter the racist world

black against the brown man

the difference a few shades

Conceive of history

as against your people

from whom do you descend

Are you really black man

were all your ancestors

black ask for a recount

Understand this my friend

I think you ask of me

this question as I peel

So many layers past

of genetic false pride

like Henry Louis Gates

Even if you believe

you are the one black man

who laughs while others share

In your pointed humor

the institutional

racism you see degrades

Murders sends off to war

draft cards in hand locks up

in prisons to pretend

Black people are worthy

only to live as slaves

of a system whose rules

Lack their favor I see

you ask little boy blue

if the big bad wolf eats

As many white children

as she does black children

listen to the three fates

Chew the bones of women

children and men they rape

in institutions schools

Killers like yourself walk

the streets drive fancy cars

your purpose seeks defeat

Nemesis ~ Sunday, 18 February 2018

I ask for your ID

when you pay by credit

you act fresh off the boat

Simply put you ask me

an offensive question

is it because I'm black

It is because in fact

you are privileged you ask

not because you feel free

Truthfully you are vain

an egotist with friends

trying to get my goat

Because you appear weak

with total disrespect

in my eyes you are lost

Endlessly humorous

this question you must ask

as if slaves weren't as whipped

Careful as you stumble

downstairs you ugly drunk

were you not born to stink

Answers to your question

are infinite with praise

for those who watch your back

Umbrella ancestors

who cover you in rain

who follow in rough seas

Struggles for civil rights

for you to ask questions

were their problems to solve

Exactly what do you

plan to do to achieve

such greatness at what cost

I question your intent

as you enter to drink

watch out you may get tripped

Mistakenly in fact

by hubris your own pride

flat on your face you think

Because you are black facts

do not pertain to you

but you are wrong you shout

Loudly in a cavern

I am the only black

man who asks the question

Arguably you're great

because you're simply blind

to my sense of resolve

Call me a company

stooge if it makes you feel

human without a doubt

Karma waits to recall

your memory you fall

on swords by suggestion

Marching Orders ~ Friday, 16 February 2018

Welcome the clouds and sun winter comes like a friend leaves an unwelcome guest

Arguments with strangers never welcome but friends become the worst by choice

Xerox my heart copy simulacrum of tears lachrymose for a mouse

Maw of a lion roars in laughter and boredom devours so-called friends lest

Another lion eats them for supper to sip on flesh and blood and snack

Noble as kings and queens lions always pretend to care about their prey

Frighten me with friendship no more I celebrate the bullet before fools

Reserve me a table to suffer damaged cards where I sit and rejoice

Inventing language games flirting with the dealer to crush her like a louse

Entertaining family and friends never at home but in Reno to show

Nothing comes from nightmares except visions and dreams prophecies and a pact

Devils demand details expect the utmost grace bite my ass to obey

Nightmares come with false friends honey badgers follow sweet as flesh-eating ghouls

Only God demands less than these natty bumpkins from cities like New York

Moscow Kiev Krakow missing the boat they fight to prove they know what lasts

Only he who endures history can survive hardships better to flow

Rivers from source to mouth words prove little to naught love tainted like a cork

Eaten away with time wine turned to vinegar sour to taste bitter blasts

Unfit ~ Thursday, 15 February 2018

Dear Raymonde (Madame Niel),

          It has been many years since you left this country, only to take a flight back to France to return after becoming sick, only to take shelter with your sister, to quit teaching here in the States, maybe we'll meet again, though to be so lucky, I doubt the dumb monkey, eloquent in his speech by saying not a word, thus to speak no evil, damned in America, never to live abroad, unlike other students.

Doomed from the start, from birth comme les poètes maudits, I wish I were stillborn, as a Non-Resident Indian in Memphis, I studied French to lick many assholes to get ahead, but had I learned Spanish, I'd watch the gates never bar my entry to getting the best jobs with monolingual cooks, entertainingly dumb, thus to speak no evil, backbones wait to refill despairingly thirsty customers with a lack of basic fluency.

Deemed unfit to study in art school from a lack of funds, I welcome scorn eloquently spoken by my peers, graduates with enough influence, engaged with the right faith in a system that helps persons unlike myself, mentally unstable since childhood from parents who themselves cooked the books empirically to hide the illness on each side of their families, their sense dutifully made them suppress and deny truth, I praise my lack of wealth.