"That's What She Said"

"This did not happen
although I have memories of it"

— Thylias Moss

It was all in my imagination
According to her, it never happened
Perhaps it was a dream, a fantasy
Except I was a naked twelve year old

She forced me to take off all of my clothes
And leave out the front door without a shred
We had an atrium, so I was safe
But I was scared, she was upset with me

She locked the door, wouldn't let me back in
If I weren't a distressed little preteen
I would have walked right out that second door
Out into the front yard and down the road

Until someone saw me and called the cops
But I was trapped begging for her mercy
Under the stars naked in the cool air
I couldn't think about how to be smart

I was in tears, no one else could help me
If I walked out that second door, they'd know
My dad was an alcoholic and mom
My mother, whom he called "mom," was his crutch

But even I didn't understand this
I didn't get what the other kids got
What non-alcoholic families would think
Their concern would frankly astonish me

But my mother dismisses this event
As something I made up, a fantasy
A psycho-analytical dreamscape
Where dreams landscape our real world with nightmares

What had I done wrong to provoke my mom
To throw me out of our suburban home
That night, naked, for all the world to see
Nothing the stars above wouldn't forgive