Because I worried, I did not follow my guts and I fell apart
Every person thinks, decides, judges and opines within an instant
Creation happens every moment, restructured, when I did not choose
As my chosen field to enlist with the Marines, at the line to start
Until my cold feet and big mouth got in my way, thanks hubris and pride
Sinister forces, deep inside my character, tell me what I can't
Engage in because I am a sensitive man, how I choose to lose
I play keep away with a fútbol on the pitch but I am no one
Worthless, as my peers well know, I'm a lucky man who could not decide
Or, go with the flow; win, place, or show. I don't know how to glow, firefly
Remember, Summer? You were too cute for this brute. I was shy and dumb
Rest assured, I speak at length now and bore women to death, it's no lie
If I were but mute, couldn't talk, I would be cute, old man, what a bum
Even idiots write better verse than this dolt. I've become no fun
Demonic, I wish. I have no super powers, a hero to none
I am a dull man. I am a dim, old light bulb. I am a dark star
Despondent, this life without children, without hope, I've no one to blame
Including myself, as I have little control to change, get things done
Depression affects my ability to ask for help, my desire
Nay, my intention to create a foundation will never go far
Old man wants to help, to give poverty-stricken people, hope, not shame
Troubled since childhood, I acted out all the time, cried for help, the belt
Felt good, I was bad. I deserved what I received, a bad boy set fire
Or was with a friend, I tried to put out the blaze, the firemen came
Left for the police to put us both in a cell, two other friends ran
Little did I know the beating I would receive, a picture to frame
Objections aside, food, clothing, shelter, no love, as a broken man
Wonders never cease, everything is beautiful, except what I felt
Maybe you read this poem to understand life, how a man could sink
Yellow, down below, down in a hole, in a well, how did I descend
Given the gifted, talented education program of my past
Understand me not, I am a cipher, zero, a paradox, blink
To think, I am gone, achieved nothing with this mind, blind, not blind, can see
Simply everything, I realized how God's mind would appear, ascend
As if man could know how space-time functions in mind, how fishermen cast
Nets within the sea, then wait to pull out their catch, disciples of Christ
Disciples of God, atheists read the Bible, I believe in qi
I threw off the yoke of Catholic oppression, five hundred years, tears
Fears of being harmed, life and property, believe what you want, I left
Even felt bereft of meaning within this world, such was their grip, years
Lost to instruction, Indoctrination, accept the warp and the weft
Loosen the textile weave, the tapestry woven, the Fates sacrificed
As mythology gave way to the battle sword of religion, faith
Plays a role, unknown, imperceptible to mind, to worship a wraith
Articles of faith, auto-da-fé, heretic beware, you will burn
Remember God's love is not man's grasp for power, will I never learn
To throw off the yoke requires an empty mind, pure, the real, one eighth
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