So, I decided
to disappear for a while
hope you don't mind, bye
obviously, though
I've decided not to post
this message online
I give up, unheard
unwelcome, why fight a stream
the river is strong
denial, a hard game
to come to grips with your role
in the play, the pie
eventually sliced
gets eaten by those who can
for those who can't, won't
ciphers, enigmas
coded texts as metaphors
analogies vine
insidiously
up walls to the balcony
to climb them is wrong
demonstrate concern
care and consideration
kindness is a lie
evidently, time
devours the children of God
mythology don't
differentiate
between bad, evil, ugly
and good elements
touch the wall at night
we were told what's right from wrong
but some don't listen
obey the police
until you meet the wrong ones
without any sense
did I state my plan
to disappear in plain sight
in the world of men
if I'm successful
no one will ever notice
I left, as a spy
social butterfly
travels person to person
gathering nectar
at lunch in high school
I spent my time not eating
but meeting new friends
pray to no avail
the future lost in my past
my actions entail
predestination
pre-existing conditions
shape the line vector
envelope this life
in a box with other lives
other envelopes
archaic thinking
about present conditions
a mirror to cleanse
rust and dust reside
until someone scrubs away
the filth in detail
forget not the past
soak it all in, remember
to break the mold cast
osteoblasts heal
bones broken or damaged, build
new cells in the hope
reminiscent, cells
build the skeleton again
the frame for body
as I decided
today, to leave behind past
as past to present
within each present
moment what I have become
to disembody
haunted frames of thought
terrified by the trauma
a spiral descent
in the inferno
the mouth devours ignorance
where nothing can last
liberated thought
poetic experience
a visceral cleanse
enter the body
explore with each breath the force
as to be alive
harness the collar
with the hames to haul and plough
to breathe and do work
operate the eyes
diminished capacity
to see without lens
pull in my focus
to a votive candle flame
as a memory
enjoy the moment
half-starving, out of my mind
I found the beehive
yes, I saw below
myself in a group meeting
where I once did lurk
over and above
my first, initial insight
the nature of light
understanding guides
as a staff for the trauma
as a treasury
dip my tiny foot
bracingly in cold water
a slap in the face
old ideas awake
the imaginary thought
I forsake for good
needless and pointless
suffering throughout the world
this is not the case
transcend a vessel
as emptiness within form
this is not real wood
mind the uncarved block
dogs play without consciousness
happy out of spite
if I disappear
you may not even notice
I become shadow
nothing but darkness
within natural sunlight
I died as a child
death becomes a boy
tortured, insignificant
worthless as a corpse
but I won't post this
so, you will never read it
the captain gone wild
yes, slightly berserk
madness, the world-weary blues
wisdom, as love warps
exit signs on fire
the plasma of Zanzala
consumes Chicago
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