In the House of Atreus ~ Wednesday, May 31, 2023

I become not-I
not whole and without a soul
in the summertime

nothing is easy
in this life with Anattā
Teufel on my back

trout jump off the hook
el algodón es bajo
you feel my blood boil

hush little baby
you ain't rich or good lookin'
but once in your prime

end your tears, don't cry
once a crybaby, always
a crybaby, Bess

High-rise Chicago
long ago, watching the news
snow-blind almanac

old scores play new songs
boring ancient grudge matches
long feuds full of toil

under the mattress
feathers to rise, spread your wings
voler dans le vide

sky-red in orbit
Tantalus mourns the morning
when he must confess

eternal river
rises up singing of thirst
hunger the strange fruit

obey not the gods
take to the hills, run away
harm stands by to charm

forget the shoulder
fashioned from ivory tusks
forgive the old coot

Atreus trembles
not, the company he keeps
fearless smoke alarm

truculent family
ties know no peace, only war
this much I confide

reason sets to test
my faith in δαιμόνῐον
over disbelief

emptiness allows
the real world as illusion
knock on marble floors

underneath the dead
interred await the rapture
but not the trap doors

silence is golden
stillness in meditation
lose myself in grief

Monadnock Building ~ Thursday, May 25, 2023

There was once a day,
as I walked between stations
on my way to work,

how this small sparrow,
helplessly and hopelessly
down on the sidewalk,

entered mon œuvre,
as a metaphor for poor
people on the ground;

restless, little bird
screamed obscenities at me,
had he gone berserk?

entered my conscience,
so I could never forget
suffering the small...

winsome, little bird,
gone unheard and unnoticed,
by people who talk

ageless, mindless thoughts
of their petty, mundane lives
just to hear the sound,

steeped in bitter tea,
of their own shallow voices
in the noisy din

of the city streets
first thing in the bright sunshine
of the morning squall;

nothing I could do
to help the helpless sparrow
but feel great pity,

compassion, I thought,
lacking creativity,
but where do I start?

entered the sparrow
to engage with my karma,
the nitty-gritty

absence of mercy
I lacked ever since childhood;
a stone must depart

down into a lake
once tossed to skip wickedly
over the bruised skin,

across the surface,
to sink back into darkness
for decades long past;

yesterday, I spoke
about this sparrow to friends,
how long must this last?

This Is What She Said ~ Monday, May 22, 2023

"This Is What She Said"

I have beaten
my wife
who was in
the bedroom

for which
I have no excuse
except
my honor

Forgive me
she was so sexy
I lost
all control

so sweet and so cold ~ Sunday, May 21, 2023

With disapproval,
in a flash, the trigger cocks
with recognition

in a moment, heat
creates a harsh atmosphere
of judgment and dust,

thoughtless actions seek
the mirror of injustice
to right some past wrong;

how some disable
the switch for clear reflection,
where no cognition

detects the trigger
of trauma lost in the past
without emotion,

inside a process
to recover innocence
oxidized with rust;

some find the metal
to overcome their burden
when the filth sets strong

attractive forces
to neglect the whole process,
when sex, drugs and drink

prove alternatives
appear far more enticing
than strict devotion;

playing advocate,
as adversity rises,
with obstacles set

randomly in place,
according to its nature,
as chaos creates

objective standards
to lower the bar of care
to zero, a debt

value inverted,
as a version of the truth
unpaid generates

a sense of concern,
as neglect necessitates
its own need to think;

lacking strength within,
in the heat of the moment,
loss lacks contrition.

This Side of Darkness ~ Friday, May 12, 2023

To hear her rough voice,
hoarse and husky, erotic,
in her defense, sweet
scented psychosis.

Subtle vodka shots infused,
inebriated,
darkness spreads his wings
each time the drunken room spins;

open the front door,
for to save her life

Demanded swift attention;
archaic forces
released their captive;
kissed across her pale forehead,
nothing could be done,
everything in place,
success in repetition
switches her method.

Adieu monde cruel ~ Thursday, May 11, 2023

I knew a woman...

knotted in braids, who once fit
nothingness neatly,
entirely packaged
within my lanky, brown arms;

as if I counted...

when all the world said
of all the people who looked
mainly like Jesus;
as if that spoke well,
not as an insult, to God.

Words Draw Water ~ Tuesday, May 9, 2023

What makes thoughts arise
hover in mid-air and tap
at the window, grow

tumultuous streams
masters of deep strife finance
acolytes of theft

kill conquistadors
even as they make landfall
scintillating till

twilight then questions
honest beggars of their crimes
over toast and tea

under viaducts
given the dreary rainfall
holy salt crackers

taste electrolytes
slipping through cracks in my tongue
artistic cowlick

ridiculous start
in search of a solution
seek not such answers

enter burnt sunshine

The Helical Ladder ~ Sunday, May 7, 2023

As a three-year old
we left London for New York
but that day, I died

Still it's all my fault
I was born and not stillborn
nor a miscarriage

An abortion lost
to the Hippocratic oath
I affirm my death

Took place in spirit
if not bodily murder
forsaken, I cried

How to live this life
without care, guidance, support
such was this marriage

Remnants of a past
when the essentials were it
to breathe my last breath

Enter a dark pact
with ha-satan to conceive
this life as espied

Even before birth
before conception, photons
beyond all space-time

Yes, speculation
creates this uncertainty
the principal crime

Ear down to the ground
listen for activity
the earth in motion

Asked to make amends
in the moment, at the time
an apology

Remember the pain
remains as a memory
the torture sustains

Obliged to tell lies
for defense mechanisms
what is this notion

Left as residue
this idea of a family
from biology

Drops from a stopcock
leaky, a broken condom
birth, a life in chains

Pellucidity ~ Thursday, May 4, 2023

send me back in time
to kill all perpetrators
of victim abuse

hunger to feel sane
learn logic to order thoughts
philosophy frames

events in context
perspective, studies in art
lines of focal points

transcend the darkness
unhappy childhood at home
meaning lost, no truce

how the war begins
with a clear declaration
end hostility

engage all parties
allies or antagonists
axis powers shames

notable systems
of overwhelming duress
finance broken joints

capture enemies
execute, leave for the wolves
history, my past

understand brother
to do no harm, a belief
in futility

transcend the absurd
within decisive action
flee stupidity

obliged to duty
keep in touch, no eye contact
the drishti you fear

for I am nazar
the evil eye who observes
pellucidity

forget your hamsa
more evil than ha-satan
for your life may veer

misdirected, try
to steer it right, clear off-course
you find your net cast

yolk stuck to your face
I blow away butterflies
their wings create change

leave the left-hand path
you belong with the vipers
in church, as they pray

enter the sanctum
in the presence of safety
where I cannot go

forge a bond in fire
for you made me what I am
a sword, warped and strange

to whom do I owe
the pleasure to be alive
my birth in Bombay

hold my hand, brother
watch that it doesn't fall off
keep them just for show

argue with mother
better laugh at the devil
with ears out of range

no point to this life
a foreigner treated so
they say what they say

demons of the street
this city deluded lies
with the blackheart crow

The Ghost of the Clam ~ Thursday, May 4, 2023

understand, brother
presses down on the taut chain
go and take a look

truly gullible
a naive, innocent kid
finds the family dog

over the fence
hanging not in the balance
but dead, clearly dead

for age to protect
a child in the 70s
a sadistic rook

for a lark, a laugh
torture in tandem, cousin
the Ghost of the Clam

murder the fetus,
the empty mussel shell thrown
against the pier, wog

yesterday, I died
an adult of dysfunction
my writings unread

ravings of a mad
lunatic, asylum ward
escapee, you think

in the upstairs den
a small child, tag-team torture
funny for the ram

grown-ass man, bully
ha! a medical student
my cousin, some friend

how my brother learned
the art of pain and torture
those hurt will do harm

trust no one, no talk
no feelings, nobody cares
societal fiend

hand me the platter
the head of John the Baptist
to sound the alarm

ask me to forgive
to forget as to move on
to cause such a stink

no one wants to know
what goes on behind closed doors
like them, I become

defensive and warped
self-medicated with drugs
the slum, I become

Spontaneous Overflow ~ Thursday, May 4, 2023

After my mother

cut off my right hand, she then

cut off my left hand

for good measure, so

as to teach me a lesson

in humanity

to steal is a crime,

to take money from her purse

not letting her know

even as a child

just to play video games

so fell grains of sand

reattached, my hands

eventually worked just fine

the bones grew in place

mom spent time in jail,

dad beat the hell out of me

since his sanity

yellowed on the walls

with no one to make him food

useless, just for show

murder would have been

better than to live this life

as their second child

of course, alcohol

takes the place of nutrition

when without a trace

the bloody cleaver

in the drawer in the kitchen

became evidence

how an abortion

within the Catholic Church

survived as a boy

even in Bombay

on its anniversary

the Great War made sense

remember, forget

good advice, ten commandments

and act somewhat coy

cut all family ties

let defense mechanisms

go, have fun, be wild

Emotionally Dysfunctional Type ~ Wednesday, May 3, 2023

Duty to defend
what happens behind closed doors
from childhood friendships

Each to their own, son
no woman waits forever
she moves on to find

Another new friend
to pay her some attention
enough to feel real

Remember, my mind
never forgets a mistake
how to come to grips

Murder my own soul,
efface all past memories,
ask God for mercy

In adolescence,
I knew a young woman who
sought my blood to bind

No one knew my mind,
nor could I, it was windy
nothing I could feel

Did I rebuff you
way back in junior high school
and now say sorry

Yes, I hurt my friends
with no thought of the future
face controversy

Sheepishly in shame
while writing a short poem
for to make amends

Or speak in person
of some insignificant
event in your life

Remember, my mind
cannot forget past mistakes
so, forgive me friends

Reaching out to talk
after forty years is dumb
thread cut with a knife

Yet, I imagine
if I weren't a doomed head case
fate would be starry