With a Song in My Heart
If I cannot cry that is not because
forgetfulness and dementia riddle
I Remember snippets by Joe Brainard
context and perspective both set on pause
as if the meaning of life made no sense
nothing but a bowl of Corn Flakes, spittle
nearly covering my whole chin, a guard
or chinstrap, a football helmet, I fall
to the ground, or on the table, a dense
cloud in my head, I think I could fiddle
remember when I played bluegrass, the band
yellow-bellied sapsuckers beat kettle
timpani drums, the symphony on hand
had for fledgling musicians, I recall
although, my brain is Swiss cheese at this point
tickle my feet or my belly, the child
in me screams in terror from past abuse
sickness runs in my family, out of joint
naturally dysfunctional, how I wish
of course, that I were never born, a mild
temperament never helped defend a truce
brother, oh brother, oh what a bother
exactly because I cannot, this dish
considered my wife, no longer a phrase
as it is offensive, as objective
underscore objectification, raised
second fiddle, not first born, still I live
even though I don't know why, o' Father...
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