I was born in Mumbai though this name was not real
was still only a dream in 1969
as was GLBQ rights and the end of AIDS
still free love played the course through 1981
but my adolescence and early adulthood
only played with those women uninfected by love
religion played a role as the Catholic Church
naturally made me feel ashamed to have sex
in a context outside of wedlock then I met
nobody as women only went for real men
May I enlighten you to awaken your soul
understand why I write these troubling poems
maybe to help sort out a problem I must solve
basically writing is telling lies to find truth
as a poet stories about my life ring true
in the ears of readers who see the hammer strike
the sound bow of the bell they can relate better
haunting me as data on a blogger website
only they like juicy details salacious things
under the knife to lose a testicle running
gunning for my last race during our freshman year
high school was stupid fun give one up for the team
take a fact and twist it like the torsion I felt
how I literally collapsed after the race
in surgery they shaved my genitals as porn
stars do for magazines those shoots must be crazy
numb from shyness and dead from alcoholism
after I turned eighteen I met a young woman
making out with a drunk drummer at a party
even then my ego preceded my entrance
why my first time at sex I was too drunk to fuck
after the encounter we exchanged phone numbers
still I was embarrassed and too naive to call
nothing in life is real upon deep reflection
only every passing moment in the present
takes time to process each event as meaningful
really the ego is a lens to see the world
each character arrives in time to say her lines
as light bends so does mind to make sense of the id
little people inside my head never go home
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