Thursday, July 29, 2021

Hay of Ashes, Ashes of Hay ~ Thursday, July 29, 2021

First love cuts to the quick, burns down the barn of hate, cleanses the soul for God

In the event of love, shatter expectations, suffer consequences

Remember memories nobody cares to share, burn down the barn of hate

Suffer consequences for actions unresolved, untold, behind closed doors

Trust in the god of pain, constant sorrow decays over decades of work

Love is uncertainty, shattered expectations, seven years of bad luck

Once faith diminishes, the bond slowly severed, the knife cuts to the quick

Visions of happiness disappear when smokestack lightning burns down the barn

Expectations shattered, pools of tears mirror cut glass scattered on the floor

Curtains closed, end of play, strike the set, move forward, start a new life, new love

Underneath the ashes, lost memories languish, burnt down with the hay barn

Try to make sense of love, pain, sorrow, suffering, nothing connects the scenes

Sections of the story make sense, fragmentary, set in isolation

Trespass against boundaries of love, burn down the barn of hate, make hay of ash

Organize the events leading up to the break, the moment we broke up

Triggers shoot memories no one cares to discuss, shot down, a plane in flames

Hungry to engender the genesis of love, I await the signal

Eclipsed by the darkness, the light returns, nothing seems different from before

Quick, answer this question, is the experience of walking on hot coals

Unlike the mystery of falling deeply down in a crevasse of love

Inquire if the starter marriage ends in divorce as a necessity

Collapse as a blue dwarf, grow as a red giant, dissipate or expand

Killing the memories with a bottle of gin is no sin and no crime

Burdened with loneliness, solitude and silence, no one to say, "Bless you"

Ugly in the mirror, wash my face, brush my teeth, feel clean for a moment

Reflections reverse time, the stream of consciousness flows backwards, waste water

Needless suffering, love sets me up for sorrow, attachment to sugar

Sweet tooth, carnal pleasure for red velvet tacos, no return to first love

Delirium affects daily activities, wash my ass, brush my back

Obligatory acts of penance to return to humiliation

Wicked as a candle burns from both ends sleepless nights beside the bottle

Nervous anxiety erodes all confidence, the past remains the past

Talk to family and friends, no one has the answers except experience

Haunted by ghosts long past, memories become dreams, phantoms of summer days

Enter contradiction, dichotomy of faith in the future and dreams

Brandish a pillow case, a flag of surrender, to whom nobody knows

Arbitrary moments lead up to an event, the blind hide the unknown

Rely on blind corners to pass by my true love, hidden by the darkness

Nothing comes from nothing, nothing ventured nothing lost but experience

Oblique angles connect lines to form triangles, always an outside force

Focus my attention on the mistakes I made, never again return

Hatred misunderstands the needle and the harm done, the damage of love

Anger as a tool used to abuse the other, the beloved now gone

Tragedy is first love, the confusion as truth, as true love, devotion

Engaged to be married, the right time to question if our future is true

Cleanse my filthy bottom, get down to the bottom of this calamity

Lapsed by decades long gone, I wonder what went right before it all went south

Everyone falls in love who fails to see the truth hidden within a cave

Ask myself what went wrong, endless lists of mistakes, miscarriage of justice

Nobody falls in love with open eyes thinking this could end tomorrow

Still, I walk on hot coals, over fire, the barn burns, I exit with a cow

Exit this world, my life lived as well as I could given the conditions

Sick of the mystery of misery and pain called love and suffering

Terror before the God, the soul, a butterfly, una mariposa

Hovering aloft high in the air a moment here, now there, flutters by

Elegant equations balance each side, the scales adequately aligned

Silence crimson devours our whole solar system within six billion years

Only the ignorant believe time is ages away, no consequence

Underneath the ashes of the barn, the future well resembles the past

Lift the veil of the bride to see the face of death present in the present

Forget unimagined possibilities found too late to discover

Order the universe with structures of the mind, constellations, chaos

Remind me to wake up before I fall asleep, before I swim in dreams

God, the unimagined gift exchanged hand to hand, from being to being

Ordain the priest in robes to overcome all love, all attachments to life

Dripping from a beehive, honey attracts the bear, sugar is sweet as love

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