If I knew then what I know now, how different my life would have been.
Forget about being a shy and awkward thirteen year old boy.
I could focus on being me, an eccentric, young introvert.
Kiss the girls and not care a lick, no one cares forty years later.
Never let anyone boss me around like status means something.
Ever land on your ass after getting the boot from your best job?
When that happens, ego dissolves, I became a better person.
Then I knew nothing about life, about love, and about heartbreak.
How four decades stacks up corpses like poker chips atop the green.
Ever since my dad passed away, I realized time is golden.
Not everyone handles the news well or in the same way, I know.
When my dad died eight years ago, I became a tag-team wrestler.
Humorous, as I fought solo against my mother and brother.
And then I gave up and let go, move on, since no one seems to care.
To show love or to understand, to cut through the crap and play fair.
I know now that family changes along with everything I know.
Know that I know nothing and yet out of nothing comes this wisdom.
Not that I could impart wisdom to my thirteen year old self, then.
Only experience offers the opportunity to learn.
Witness the suffering homeless that break my heart as I watch them.
No one notices them hungry, digging deep through a garbage can.
Only to find rubbish thrown out, half-eaten sandwich or a Coke.
When I lost my job, my soul broke and I saw the mirror of life.
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