As a Lark for Larkin ~ Saturday, November 2, 2024

I was killing time inside a bookstore

waiting for the Nepalese restaurant
across the street to open up again
starving, the hyperbole of a bore

killing himself slowly for many years
if long distance running is but a jaunt
literally, down the road without the yen
lifting me up, a butterfly in flight
injury added to insult, the tears
needlessly fall as a necessity
grit, determination, perseverance

trauma and distress melt out of pity
insults from childhood bounce as if I dance
morbid with sorrow for decades, the bright
-
enlightenment in my twenties switched on

initiate instruction to recall
near amnesia by others of harm done
slide down the chute, recovery to spawn
integrity tactics to overcome
depression as a clinical downfall
enigmatic and eccentric, how fun

artistically autistic, I was dumb

burdened by my punishment to behave
over two decades, the torture game set
obliged never to complain of the past
killing time enables me to forget
search my conscience to forgive, shadows cast
triumphantly moving over my grave
objections aside my death cannot last
resolve quarrels with squirrels and press save
ephemeral the clouds always move so fast

Gjǫrth ~ Friday, November 1, 2024

Little did he know with his girth in place
indeed, the wrong place, in fact, the wrong hole
that he could not tell made all the difference
that he lacked, truly, the wherewithal, Grace
left him well alone to do his business
even though Bull pulled out, my name is Cole

divine Grace, my mom, by an inference
indeed, let a man bugger from behind
diminished, he filled her up with stiffness

how I came into the world, thrown and born
egoless, my soul, transient sojourn

kissed by divine Grace, my mom, without scorn
needed a baby, no husband, slow burn
owl full of wisdom, from a seed so blind
worthless to debate the value of life

while each soul is born to live for how long
in arrhythmia, syncopated beats
tell time as tempo, battles without strife
how Bull took the news, I never found out

how Bull up and died, convenient, his schlong
inside divine Grace, my mom, whom he cheats
sits inside a well, poisoned forever

given narrative as a form, I shout
in praise of Dark Hype and Hype Dark, Hyde Park
resides my Karmann Ghia nostalgia
transforms all theories conspiracies spark
how Bull ended up, sick with myalgia

investigators found nothing ever
nearly so fishy, smelling very strange

pretend no foul play, no harm done, he fell
link Project MKUltra to a well
argue against hate and war, acid dreams
cover up army dreamers with their screams
emigrate to Spain, the Dutch in orange

Names Changed to Protect the Innocent ~ Wednesday, October 30, 2024

They had no idea as kids, Jeanne and Leigh
how could I blame children as an adult
even as grown up folks if we could talk
yet, emotions never fade but simmer

hate-filled racist taunts in the Seventies
asked everyone to forgive the harm done
did the perpetrators never forget

never seems immediately after
or never again to think of the past

ideas as right or wrong were meaningless
don't get me wrong, religion had its place
even if theory and practice were Church
and State, separated by amendment

as Constitution meets Philosophy
stated as primary as slavery

kissing cousins of American Law
if I never met Brinsley and Schwarzkopf
do you think their actions are all my fault
such as I was not an American

Just a boy born in Bombay long ago
even though never to be President
as if spelling well as a kid was bad
nobody in Cali was ever good
not me, certainly, full of past triggers
even though we just wanted to have fun

ask me if I care anymore after
nearly forty years with an axe to grind
drop that blade, wish I could burn the handle

Leave this world better than we received it
ever thrown into Chaos, the Abyss
if I could imagine being beyond
given situations I find myself
horrified by the past, try to let go

A Boy in a Skirt ~ Sunday, October 27, 2024

Crying but what for the hidden treasure
rest mariposa for what a long flight
yellow daffodil your beautiful lies
inspire creation / destruction pleasure
never insane pain beyond all reason
generate sacred healing honor bright

burn pepper and salt crystal azure skies
urn full of ashes broken bones and dust
terrible heartbreak except such treason

warps clear perception from heels up the spine
hover in constant anguish in the brain
as for all the tears pickled within brine
twisted ankles turn the world with a sprain

forget what is known blown out in a gust
of hot air unfair attitude old man
resolve all problems within this molehill

trapped on a mountain within a crevasse
how to freeze to death give up on the plan
enter the beyond behind the curtains

hide all repression with crude oil to spill
inside the outside never an impasse
decisions unmade reversed tarot card
destabilize hay bales with hard bargains
exit the bedroom screaming as a child
nothing but laughter for much suffering

tease with sadistic pleasure brutal wild
resort to denial block out buffering
entitled to smile to say life is hard
advantageous brick thick and dense as dirt
sugar always sweet sours rotten teeth
usury the cake to eat as a wreath
revel in honey why hurt people hurt
eclipsed by the moon a boy in a skirt

Unvote the So-called American Left ~ Saturday, October 26, 2024

The unwoke awake during their own wake
how dead to undead and unwoke to woke
enters the canon as fodder for birds

underneath it all in anger, I quake
not from past neglect that I overlook
welcome to the poor in Chicago, broke
obscene on public transportation, words
kill all sense of care as to judge concern
even if I could offer aide and cook

asparagus grilled with Greek olive oil
would it be worthwhile, even lucrative
as the bottom line decides how much toil
killing my dead soul for a decorative
elegant dinner; so much to discern

dinner costs aside, my pride is my bride
underneath it all I shake with fury
ride the CTA to view sleeping bears
if not the Red Line, the Blue Line we ride
not far from the wild creatures without homes
given the mayor's scruples, the jury

takes to their chamber to discuss wild hairs
how undone the slum of Chicago teams
each night with vagrants begging, holding combs
if I could afford to feed the homeless
right the wronged and write off the money pit

of the IRS and other boneless
wealthy jellyfish who don't give a shit
nothing appears quite as clear as it seems

woke becomes on fleek, a joke cannot last
a dictionary detects its rejects
kindness by the side of the road injects
each person with "HOPE", a placard long past

(Schlimazel) שלימזל ~ Tuesday, October 22, 2024

To have been better as a bed wetter
oil sheet warm then cold mother the queer smell

humble bumble bee free never to sting
ave Maria knit me a sweater
virtuous patience my wrath full of ire
ever since childhood broken as a bell

bitter jitterbug smite me with one swing
end this senseless search for birch sap syrup
ever neurotic erotic empire
nervous from the start first vomits fresh milk

buttermilk pancakes Brother Jake to give
etter suisse framboise to wear with a kilt
tickle me senseless with one life to live
tough motherfucker, a stainless steel cup
enjoy the boy toy flash buckle your belt
rejoice Brother Jake, King Charles we behead

ask never questions born of lust and cash
suck was a queer word Stephen feels a welt

as to enable a fabled schism

beast of least burden titans live undead
eternal struggle as under the lash
dark hype types hard bop cop a feel schlemiel

winter freezes balls bukkake jism
exit the rat race move on shoot your load
terror of torture sadistic brother
taunt kid brother bro nevermore to goad
epic recipe destroys the other
remember mother no game without spiel

Blockage ~ Tuesday, March 22, 2022

[1]

Allegedly, I was three years old when we left London for Kew Gardens, Queens in New York City. Little did I know then my brother would succeed exactly as he should, older, colder, wiser. Despite our differences... I was a sensitive, little monster... mommy cared for us equally. Yet, I felt emptiness as we crossed the ocean.

I was unbearable to my family, a flaw.

Would that I could not be born like poor George Bailey, as an utter failure, victim of circumstance, savvy people saw through my innocent disguise.

Three years old, old enough to walk, talk, act stupid. However, as a child, I appeared without fault. Remember, I was small, cute and apparently without an ounce of guile. Even then, deception deceives the deceiver. Enter '72 without a clue, so blue.

Yesterday, I woke up and went running at dawn. Exactly, fifty years later I write about a time I can never recover from the past. Remember, I am three years old when it took place. Still, my first memory... I should really forget.

Old, old, old... getting old is never any fun. Let me be twenty-two, or even thirty-two. Diminished returns, this life not worth the investment.

When I went to visit Amanda, as a child, how full of emotion, I told her, "I love you." Even as a small boy, this was appropriate. Nope! My older brother thought otherwise and laughed.

While four years of difference is not a lot in age, exceptions to the rule must be made for sadists.

Leaving London, England was tragic in a sense. Even then, as a child, I thought myself, British for our passports said so, though this is in hindsight. To say I was British would be a huge mistake.

[2]

London? No, Middlesex. Near where my father worked. Only, I was too young to know much about it. Not that we ever saw much of our dad as kids. Despite loving our mom, he worked at the airport. Only, it was Party Central and our father not just came from Kenya, he came from Nairobi.

Forget the past, they say, move on with your own life. Only, the blockages, these stuck points get sticky. Remember, memories retain for a reason.

Kiss the girls, make them cry. I said my last goodbye. Enter American airspace as immigrants. Would I be anything otherwise in their eyes.

Grant me serenity but to whom do I speak, asking for charity, for kindness, for favors. Remember, I was born in Bombay, not London. Despite being a child, I was a foreigner. Even if I could speak and write Perfect English. No one saw me as theirs, as from their own homeland. Sucker to believe in the American Dream.

Question reality, study philosophy. Understanding nothing, but experiences. Enter contemplation, contemplate suicide. Every act has merits, reward this life with death. No, with no certainty... this is all that we know. Still, to end misery... it is a temptation.

If I were without flaws as a perfect diamond... no, I am a monster, never a good person.

New York City, a flash! We were gone in two years. Even if I had met Bobby Diggs, the RZA, would that make a difference, born a week after me.

Yet, I was neither Black, nor anyone Black kids on the outskirts of life cared anything about. Remember, South Asians are simply immigrants. Kill a Hindu, a Sikh, create a Hate Crimes Act.

Crippled in my own mind, broken, a fractured life. In the city, I saw from our sixth story view that people appear small, that balsa planes fly far. Yet, I started to learn... I was just a small man.

[3]

Lessons to learn in life, turn anger into gold. If I blame anyone that energy returns to haunt my days on earth, to follow my footsteps, to appear as spectres, as phantoms, or as ghosts. Little did I know then, as a child, how it works, everyone knows karma, everyone learns dharma.

Despite our age difference, my brother got along in spite of hating me as his little brother, despite his sadism, I learned some good lessons.

I learned never to trust, never to talk or feel.

Kismet divides my lot, this is my destiny. Nothing less than to write about the blockages. Obey the directions offered by our parents. Would that they realized defense mechanisms.

That was then, this is now. Fifty-three years of age, how do I shake it off, need I ask Taylor Swift? Every musician knows how difficult it is... not to succeed, but fail until they can succeed.

Music was my first love and so I played the drums, yet fate placed poetry before my eyes, I wept.

Beyond this world, I know nothing is for certain. Religion teaches us to believe, to have faith. Only, a skeptical, questioning mind sees past theological words as the chatter of birds. Hungry to understand, I understood limits. Even in calculus, we encounter limits. Religion, I gave up for Lent, as the joke goes.

Wine, women, and song but no, I was no sailor. Only a madman thought with his brain, not his dick. Under the tyranny of my own character, (let me preface this thought with the fact I shaped it), demented as I was to others, I was sure.

Satori was a flash, gradual and then gone. Under these conditions, I expected something. Calamity to want, to desire what is gone. Catastrophe happens, still I must restructure. Engage futility with misunderstanding. Enter into debates, thinking I know better. Despite knowing nothing, Socrates kept his cool.

[4]

Enter a foreign land, nowhere are we at home. Xenophobia saves natives from foreigners. America knows well to decimate natives. Caution signs on the shore should have pointed inwards. Tragically, genocide had not been coined, as yet. Let the indigenous peoples have their lands back. Yet, we cannot undo what has been done with guns.

Attempts to understand Manifest Destiny strike a chord of disgust at our pride and hubris.

History writes itself with the blood of others. Empty the pen of ink, fill it up with more blood.

Should I concern myself with words beyond my scope? How to practice my words, to preach my word is bond? Or hypocritical, just as everyone else? Under the tyranny of language, of life lived, limit experience until experiments decide how I should live out the rest of my life.

Older now, still a child striving to be a man. Little inside my mind, the blockages persist. Defense mechanisms get in the way of growth. Even to realize this fact, helps nobody. Realize potentials, actualize the truth.

Crabby as a Cancer but why identify, order constellations using my own metric, lift the veil, envision a universe beyond dimensions created by scientists in Rome, entertain other thoughts, other minds, other worlds, residing in the mind, the self is not the stars.

Wisdom is not beauty, this visceral domain, intelligence wastes time, energy, resources, struggles to keep up with our fierce competition, engages tug-of-war, to win or lose is all, recall failure / success are aspects of this game.

[5]

Diametrically in opposition across each radiant circle speaks dialectically specious arguments, spectacular mirrors presenting truth as such, as it appears in fact, in all good faith, the oak believes in the acorn, triumphs within itself simply by existing, existence seemingly the essence of being.

Organize, rearrange the constructs of this world, unequal in measure, to place recognition reasonably higher than imagination...

Does this make sense to me, society orders indifference to pleasure or pain, a secret gift from antiquity, fools, exactly like ourselves, finding out about life, guided by assumptions, experiments to learn about anatomy, research on cognition, processes of thinking, experience with gold, ethics and politics, natural science and the physical laws of creativity placed as a schema over each point in the system, the universe measured specifically to man.

I was a hateful child, I learned what I was taught.

Would that I had been taught how to love, not to judge. As simple as turning over within the mind, such as I do in bed asleep behind the wheel.

As a child, I would ask impossible questions.

Something inside my brain needed to know, "what if..." every time my brother was proximal to me. Not that he cared for me and my questions, annoyed, sick and tired of hearing thoughts out of deep, left field. If only I could be quiet for a moment. Though, I was a shy guy, a sincere introvert. If anyone wanted to shine it was Leo, very extroverted, outgoing and social, exact opposites, boys who bothered each other.

[6]

The Universe Is All My Fault ~ Monday, October 21, 2024

Trustworthy? No one, ever, not a soul!
remember my wife? My ex-wife? You know
until the moment she chose to do harm
still, I was not good, a lump of black coal
trust not the mirror of language for shame
wastes time on ego, on image, on glow
orbit persona to sound the alarm
reveal tit-for-tat gossip as karma
trained dog, housebroken, but not beyond blame
how stupid is love without children, dumb
yet, we were happy until we were not

Nobody offers fair warning, too numb
organically drunk, hormones tie the knot

obtain a divorce, move on, when dharma
notifies the wheel to turn, separate
each takes a deep breath to reflect on change

exit stage left, go, with the house on fire
visions of dark pitch, bituminous spate
eternally trapped in asphalt gravel
remember the dog in the street with mange

no, this hell is mine, made by my desire
orders of angels, what a fucking lie
tell me what to say when the court gavel

asks Bodhidharma if death travels west

suddenly, I watched paint dry on the wall
over nine long years, it became a test
until I awoke as if in free-fall
left with the writing, no more apple pie

Unembraced ~ Sunday, October 20, 2024

For a second, she looks at me as if...
or am I deceived by the mama bear
really, I could be handsome in her eyes

as if I were a good person, a whiff

say of Z by Ermenegildo Zegna
even in my Lululemon, I fare
close to second in style, her husband cries
out to make way to their children in tow
not that I am not patient, Sardegna
does that name suit you, exotic beauty

sucker that I am for blue eyes, I pass
however confident in my duty
emblematic of one never so crass

licensed to chill, ice bucket wheel barrow
organic apples and ripe bananas
obtained at the grocery store, pity
kindness, an old man in need of a hug
see me, in my pocket, sixteen annas

as if I were ethical and honest
truly impossible in the city

maybe if I were just a lady bug
even a doctor or a lawyer, no

ambition to get ahead without rest
suffer the emptiness within sorrow

internal/external dichotomy
fraught with passion, beg, steal, even borrow

old man without a tracheotomy
reasonable to say you never know

A Mere Footnote in History ~ Saturday, October 19, 2024

Is it my fault that you are beautiful
still, it is not my place to fall in love

if you were ugly or maybe a dog
terrible as that sounds if you could pull

me into your orbit into your sphere
yet though I circle as if from above

friendship with a hawk leaves me in a bog
as if waiting for Seamus to come dig
until his pen runs out of ink unclear
luminosity within gravity
tumble into your influence and fall

tragically without a shred of pity
humbled by your impudence and your gall
as if I could elect another Whig
trouble is that I vote anarchist, right

yes, I am grotesque, don't look at me, please
only the hideous Clooney and Pitt
undertake to make me handsome despite

age, grey hair, wrinkles and weight to transform
rubies into diamonds but if I sneeze
everything goes to waste just so much shit

beggars belief, forgive me, please, your grace
exacts tribute as the ladybugs swarm
around my arrhythmia, cold, black stone
undertakers of love bury nonsense
titanic interruption on the phone
information angelic in defense
for or against the hoi polloi, the case
under review for lack of evidence
lack of common sense, lack of pounds and pence

Celebrate the Traces ~ Wednesday, October 16, 2024

As you know by now we used LSD
so as to escape our need to grow up

yes we were minors on a weekend trip
out of sorts as teens reading poetry
until crash landing with a defunct band

kiss the past goodbye we drink from the cup
no innocence lost dipped more than the tip
orbits awakened pupils dilated
we watched as traces past after the hand

but to hear Spirit talk philosophy
yet no one could see the unseen prophet

no one cared to eat cake but the coffee
only when sober at meetings befit
wonders never cease wishes belated

work or go to school college for last call
each day we undrank excesses of pain

until we split up went our separate ways
suck it through a straw stranded as to fall
excess leads wisdom to let go of hope
decidedly thoughts made us both insane

Liquidate the mind unknown through the haze
Success overlooks the fact we smoked dope
Diminished by time we found poverty

Human Resources: The Grimsby Report ~ Wednesday, October 9, 2024

The unsayable turns against the tide
how if I were blind to my own actions
each day, if I act the martyr to grief

unless I accept and therefore abide
not in sympathy, caught up in a role
sucker to succor, my own distractions
argue not to strengths but to seek relief
yellow zinnia, I lack all courage
as the unemployed drink beer on the dole
bile, irritable, angry, vexed at heart
lingers complacent, satisfied and smug
each day, I am blind to smell my own fart

turn against others, lash out, pull the rug
underneath us all, distress in storage
reside in trauma, cheetah in a cage
nocturnal raccoons free to sniff and roam
suffer the children as adults little

as the town crier whose opinions rage
grate the ears of maize in a cornfield maze
as if words could burn waves of white sea foam
if I am privileged, am I so brittle
not to withstand hate, I wander, a clue
stirs up the cauldron, the pot to amaze
traumatized infants, shaken, nothing stirs

the newscaster more, a son of the law
how daddy was hurt sounds as a gear whirs
each day, my body hurts under the claw

take a dumb, black cat, pouncer, no one knew
if elder statesmen, entitled and free
decide other's fate, to live in a shoe
each day, I pray that I'm not you, agree

Red Line ~ Sunday, October 6, 2024

More than poverty, Gertie saw no hope
observe the people in order to help
reach out as you can to assist those lost
experience shows lives destroyed by dope

thanatos is change itself more than death
how we look away while mental health
advocates advise no matter the cost
not to directly intervene but ask

provided the harm done from years on meth
opens the back door to offer a hand
victims of hateful politics resist
every chance to change while each grain of sand
reveals orange peals makes trauma desist
trauma and distress both wear the black mask
yet, Gertie wants more as she has no fear

Gertie cooks dinner in a small kitchen
empty of workers other than herself
resolved to assist to make plainly clear
time returns each day to check in and see
if people accept the past as a den
engaged with vipers like books on a shelf

see what attracts you to make things better
avenues with false opportunity
wind the roads to catch you and yours off guard

nothing but the trees reach toward the sun
opportunity shifts as work is hard

hard as mining rocks for diamonds for fun
opportunity knocks in a sweater
poverty hopes pain without gain is done
empty promises success is hard-won

La Mauvaise Foi ~ Saturday, October 5, 2024

This is the phenomenal world
here, everything changes
if you blink, it might disappear
so, fasten your seat belt

if you look around, this may be your life
still the camera may pan elsewhere

this world happens so fast
have it your way if you are bored
each moment flashes like a bulb

pretend you understand
however everyone knows you do not
everyone knows because nobody knows
no one understands why we are alive
or they pretend to know while they are blind
most people lose their way from this blindness
even with perfect vision they can't see
no one can read the signs, or the red flags
as for those in authority, they lie
lies are at the root of all the blindness

welcome to this, the phenomenal world
obey the rules or find yourself locked up
running changes everything, if you run
little else makes a difference, in the end
decide how to act, choose your course, and go!

al-qubba (قُبَّةُ) ~ Saturday, September 28, 2024

When first I was born, I swallowed a book
holier than God left inside a vault
enter an alcove to meet your maker
nothing but a wisp of salty air, look

forgotten by dust, the ashes of bones
in an alcove, God weeps, in debt, whose fault
recovery sets the record, faker
straightens up the bills in the drawers, the cost
to house God inside a bank vault, the stones

I skip on water, Satan's daughter sleeps

within a fury, angry at her lot
as the black pepper in soup, while God weeps
storms in the ocean, beware of his snot

beware as he hocks a loogie, he lost
order, the blue pearl, spun out of control
revel in excess, corals pale a shade
near the atomic bikini atoll

I swallow the book as the decades fade

swarms of bees, my beard, memories, each strand
wash my eyes and face, Satan's daughter calls
as I seek refuge in darkness, so cold
light cannot reach me, as if to demand
liquid clarity filtered beyond pitch
objections aside, she stumbles and falls
words fail me, my bride, I laugh hard and bold
each day the birds curse epithets on race
difficult to say why the sparrows bitch

at passersby, click, the shutter closes

blasphemy to speak of God and the Book
only as the thorns cut my head, roses
olfactory bulb, a scent on a hook
kill me Judas-kind, rood without a trace

Rape Blossoms ~ Tuesday, September 24, 2024

Rape Blossoms. Wait don't you mean, "love blossoms"
as you know with President Blund, rapeseed
predatory behavior presents
exhibit A as curled up opossums.

Blunders persist in politics, she says
laugh at the gaffe, she's not halfwrong, we bleed
over palm oil production, he resents
sinister insinuations of a plot
surreptitious cultivation, he plays
old boy object petit a from a lack
make America Blunder again, crack
sexist jokes on TV, it fills the slot

Forlorn for California ~ Wednesday, September 18, 2024

Sometimes, I wish I could turn back the clock
on a date we were together, not all
maybe four of us, the others elsewhere
everywhere and nowhere, before the shock
tumbling, stumbling, crumbling mumble bunny
in time, I would overcome my own fall
magically, as if I were meant to share
energy elliptic as gravity
sometimes, I wish I could tell how funny

I appear to others, to myself, blind

windows outwards face, mirrors inwards face
if I as body could envision mind
subtle objects in space, I accept grace
however lost within a cavity

I turn back the clock of memories lost

catch-as-catch-can, no-holds-barred, we hold hands
older than teenagers but now no more
until I uncover the total cost
let us just say no more are we at home
difficult as it was, we left our lands

the sea, the sand, the sun, the surf, the shore
until our reunion, thirty years hence
remember life under the big, blue dome
nothing but appearances, all those lies

badgered as an adult, how I look back
at our time together, the stormy skies
cool to watch lightning, at the beach, attack
kindness as a concept, dollars and cents

traffic circles, orbits in gravity
how a moment escapes our awareness
everyday I miss how we are all gone

cancer eats away at the cavity
leaves me lonesome for ages in stages
obliged to lick my wounds in all fairness
cancer is my politics, as a pawn
kiss my friends goodbye as the sea rages

Summum bonum ~ Monday, September 16, 2024

If I were younger ... such is not the case

forget Wittgenstein ... by now, he's long dead

I am just body ... no duality

were I twenty-five ... awareness in place

each day I wake up ... I write down my dreams

read and write and sleep ... Oblomov in bed

each day I study ... mortality

youth is not wasted ... but the best-laid schemes

of enticed children ... ends up in a hole

underground, hidden ... the bodies in piles

needless senselessness ... whatever the goal

granted, rhetoric ... now I run for miles

each day that I rest ... energy I store

rest until I work ... exhausted, what more

sit and meditate ... drop off not drop out

until body fades ... drowning, grasp at straws

challenged by the smoke ... extinguished candle

haunted by the past ... grotesque water spout

if I were older ... and, yes, not dead yet

sycophantic bores ... suffer Plato’s Laws

never a stranger ... untouched by scandal

open up her box ... double entendre

tempted by the fruit ... the irony, bet

tell me, Socrates ... what is emptiness

hold the door open ... good morning, rejoice

engulfed in the fire ... welcome readiness

clasp the necklace shut ... sterling silver voice

as the case might be ... visit Szentendre

sentence St. Andrew ... crucifix saltire

each day in Scotland ... the end of Empire

Darth Verim ~ Saturday, September 14, 2024

If feeder is home
Feeder has not fed me, yet

Feeder must feed me
Empire ends with Rome
Empire sets the world on fire
Devil-may-care, bet
Empire shapes glory
Remind me to wake Feeder

Is as I desire
Shapes glorify sense

Hold me back, where is my food
Old dogs, pure nonsense
Murder is my mood
Empire kills Vader

Poland, 1939 ~ Friday, September 13, 2024

Little do they know
even if I remember
bittersweet kisses
even if I blow
nonsense gestures as I leave
still in September
risk never misses
a mark as golden as dawn
until next time, grieve
make yourself aware

must an educated guess
even if you scare
adults as restless
now as a doe and her fawn
shadows in a show

Reynard ~ Thursday, September 12, 2024

Is it just me then
seeing the one lunatic

inhabiting space-
time since God knows when

just me hearing the sparrows'
unsound rhetoric
suffering with grace
these little chatterboxes

mean by the narrows
emerge black and blue

touch wood solemn under oath
heaven knows where to
enter River Lethe
note the wily, old foxes

Ἀλεξάνδρεια ~ Monday, September 2, 2024

She was my high noon
how goes my missing shadow
eclipsed by the moon

woman makes me croon
as badly as a black cat
sings a sweet fado

must I sing a tune
yes, or howl low as a wolf

how sad not to scat
if only my voice
graced could drown bees down my throat
how this was my choice

now, old as a goat

ornery as foul Rudolf
object of no fan

not catch-as-catch-can

Coercion ~ Sunday, August 25, 2024

For me, as you know
other things happen, not great
really not that bad

maybe, I could show
everyone, maybe even

a judge, some debate
some lives are just sad

yolk on my face, such disgrace
only roll seven
under duress, twist

knife until you hear a scream
now, untwist your wrist
only in this dream
wisdom takes wits to save face

Transference ~ Sunday, August 18, 2024

One day, she woke up
never for a good reason
everything changes

decidedly, cup
after cup of black coffee
yet, as each season

shifts and exchanges
heat for cold and back again
each sheet of toffee

shattered and broken
holds sweetness in each morsel
every unspoken

word, how Nita fell
on hard times, as if to feign
kisses and bear hugs
empty promises

undermines her provinces
projects words at slugs

Therapist Priest ~ Saturday, August 17, 2024

Traumatized as a boy, he confessed how
heaven knows how he knew, how to follow
each person in his parish to see why

Boredom, the Almighty, creates the now
uplifting the heavens, to allow lust
truth hidden in desire, empty, hollow
loquacious as a duck, cooked in stir-fry
everyone knew the priest, I knew him best
researched my whereabouts, within such trust

Despite the fact that I did nothing wrong
in prison, on Death Row, I rot, justice
defends the innocent but for a song

If a serial killer, Augustus
tricked the law to frame me, then, be my guest

Petite madeleine ~ Saturday, August 17, 2024

When I was a child
how freely I spoke and felt
each emotion grow
never mild but wild

I was born as a shipwreck

waiting for the belt
adrift ice floe
sunken with all my treasure

as I stood on deck

children in lifeboats
hold hands and wave goodbye
in vests and pea coats
left behind, I cry
dust and sand, tears of pleasure

Kalingādhipati ~ Thursday, August 15, 2024

Kalingādhipati

Brilliant! If I say so myself, Ātman
underneath the veneer, the veil, the guise
talent weighs on the scales, in the balance

talent is practice within anātman
hidden in plain sight within selflessness
emptiness, Śūnyatā, wears a disguise

trust not appearances, let your talents
rule as a guide to truth, for sooth, I speak
under guard, lock and key, my carelessness
took hold, a prisoner, in a dark keep
hold on to your horses, this is my home

if I earn what I deserve, then I sleep
soundly, underneath the big, blue sky dome

only appearances favor the weak
never mind the guttersnipes, those who know
live within reflection, contemplate mind
yet, words get in the way, to overcome

kindness as an idea, watch the light show
needles pierce the fabric, perceptions melt
objects in the mirror appear unkind
wicked, smoke and dragons, as we become
nervous, full of anxiety, dharma

builds by actions, choices, decisions felt
yet, directed by a moral compass

guttersnipes, Joe Strummer, I missed The Clash
until disappointment fades, comes to pass
truth is simply a word, a sword I slash
time and space as concepts, all is karma
except not vendetta, vengeance, revenge
remove schadenfreude for ahiṃsā
serve not joy within misfortune, resist
needless acrimony as to avenge
in principle, one wrong for another
perhaps war for the Lord of Kalinga
escapes civil conduct, as we insist
serves all, father, mother, sister, brother

Unification ~ Wednesday, August 14, 2024

Now everybody—
on your marks, get set, and go
winner takes it all

what is samādhi
how collective unconscious
arises, shadow
transforms as the fall

of old orders coincides
round bored, obnoxious

witnesses, selfish
how we desire property
and wealth as shellfish
there, our poverty

needs to look up, as the tides
over and above
witness a hard shove

The Big Fish ~ Wednesday, August 14, 2024

Needle pops balloons
emergent gas creates sound
escapes from prison
dives into saloons
lifts up skirts at Moulin Rouge
enters each unfound

perhaps with vision
organs on the Black Market
provide days in Bruges
seldom seen by sick

bludgeoned folk left in bathtubs
as a candlewick
leaves a scent of scrubs
lingering in hospitals
only their patients
organ-deprived wait
necessarily, patience
serving them as bait

Temporality ~ Wednesday, August 14, 2024

To connect the dots
obviously, before time

creates perceptions
ordered into slots
not that we can imagine
needlessly, a mime
eating conceptions
connecting the dots with light
transforms a famine

that all time is one
how time, before the big bang
explodes as a pun

decisively, fang
or claw, to defend our site
time implodes dharma
seen within karma

---

Imagine that time
moves within our perceptions
as if a straight line
gives meaning to crime
in the street or in our homes
now these deceptions
emerge as a fine

torn away from what is real
how we write these poems
as if what is right
takes place before our own eyes

time becomes the light
if past the disguise
maybe we could break the seal
even solve the prime

Sailor's Delight ~ Tuesday, August 13, 2024

Your relationship
opens at dawn in the spring
under clear, blue skies
rust creeps up your slip

rust oxidizes your pipes
ends your time to sing
leaves you with your lies
as summer comes, your beach reads
transport tinder swipes
introduced in bars
on trains and planes with cocktails
nearly wrecking cars
so, as autumn fails
how to prepare for what breeds
in winter, the sun
pulses cold, no fun

Mirror ~ Saturday, August 10, 2024

The old man is my old friend, Nemesis
he is not my father, nor my brother
exactly what he is is uncertain

older than stellar dust, he believes bliss
little does he know, comes from ignorance
decidedly, this dolt is the Other

mark my words, you can lower the curtain
as he snores through Carmina Burana
noticeably, he farts during the dance

if the mirror of language were applause
still, he would stand up and bow in response

my old friend, Nemesis, is not the cause
yet, he is not the man either, ensconce

old age in ageist terms, turn arcana
lightly over the green felt card table
decidedly, The Fool, his fate is sealed

friend or zero, my foe is my downfall
rise from the ashes, as I am able
imaginary bird, Phoenix, am I
even the clairvoyant, her blood congealed
not from the laying of the cards but small
decidedly, imperceptible sounds

Now is her house haunted or is my mind
eventually, in such decay, the tricks
my old friend, Nemesis, plays on my eyes
enter the mirror stage holding two bricks
such golden bars weigh nothing to the lies
inflicted by stardust in leaps and bounds
such is the burden found within a kiss

Murmuration ~ Sunday, August 4, 2024

Wu Ch'i said: 'I am able to inquire into what is hidden and by means of the past investigate the course of future events.'

---

"Blessings!" as they say
yet to stain the floors with blood

mark my words, disdain
emulates full sway
anarchic pendulum swing
naturally, the flood
sidles past the slain

orbits via elliptic
forces on the wing

travels in the sky
hoi polloi, starlings in flight
eagerly, they scry

positions of slight
affluence, status cryptic
status, a measure
to praise their pleasure

Augustus ~ Thursday, August 1, 2024

August is for atoms and atonement,
understanding Partition takes its toll
grieving history is impossible
unless it happens to your kind, hell-bent
set to make governments pay symbolic
taxes only poets know of this goal

itinerant claims, incognizable
stalk the earth as soldiers, as veterans

forgotten in their trauma, all too sick
organically in distress since childhood
remember your children do not fight wars

atom bombs drop, celebrate as we should
that we think we should celebrate in bars
or create monuments on deaf islands
makes a mockery of millions who died
suddenly, in a flash, ripped off their flesh

as radioactive energy, dust
necessarily ends carnage, they cried
dry tears of determination to show

atonement as a strategy to thresh
tried and true economics and lust
over the journeymen, what they endure
necessary for a country to grow
expiation for sins, actions of hate
men argue and debate the need for war
eventually, something breaks through the grate
needless surprise attacks, carnage and gore
trust not ancient rivalries as the cure

Unofficial Business ~ Wednesday, July 24, 2024

One hand claps my ear
no irony rings the bell
enter the zen-dō

harmony, a tear
as it rolls down, I feel sound
not bad, not unwell
despite a soft blow

clearly, Zenji hears the pitch
lifts me, wings unbound
anger, desire, fear
pains me more than delusion
serves me right, unclear

mind, a decision
yesterday, at dusk, I stitch

each cut with some thread
as to what I dread
restless wolves, an ancient witch

entre ces deux langues ~ dimanche, 21 juillet 2024

il y a cette boîte

le chat à l'intérieur

y partícula

alfa de largo

caliente alcance

entre les deux mondes

tué ou vivant

tué le chat de l'espace

entre deux états

boire du vin rosé

organiser une grande fête

î (i-circumflex)

tirer ton chapeau

entre la vie et la mort

Demure Drug Mule ~ Friday, July 19, 2023

As sweet as sugar
suffer the saccharine trust

sucrose assets save
wealth from a hooker
each sex worker knows their trade
each pimp works like rust
till plow to the grave

ask not who earns a deep cut
sugar makes the grade

sorrow defines life
under the scalpel, abort
gifts within such strife
ask not what they snort
real cocaine out of her butt

Autonomous Sensory Meridian Response ~ Thursday, July 18, 2024

To attain enlightenment, satori
on the Red Line seems antithetical

answer me this, do you expect to find
the wisdom you seek under a torii
the vicinity seems right but a lie
attached to objects categorical
in an instant to awaken to mind
nothing without perfect understanding

enlightenment doesn't come cheap, the sky
needs to be replaced, that's a lot of paint
leave the clouds alone, people like them white
ideology becomes a complaint
given notions of purity and light
however, no one can stop the branding
transcend reality on the Red Line
even if it cannot be done, just try
nothing but emptiness and wisdom true
maybe not here, tingles up your straight spine
even such sensory responses speak
nothing for satori, I sit and cry
trying to make sense of a world so blue

sorrow and suffering help me reflect
as people appear ignorant and weak
transcend reality, the help you need
obey the rules of physics, get on, sit
realize their anger, hatred and greed
involve the conditions, create a pit

of despair and delusion, to detect

nothingness beyond the self, the story

transcend reality, seek no-glory

how elusive is the mirror of mind

even if one word slips out this I find

Restlessness in others creates small waves

ever still as a placid lake, a stone

drops to create ripples, pass all the graves

Literally, the dead offer a bone

if this is not humorous, leave aside

nothing but pain and suffering, gory

each cemetery we pass, there, my bride

Summertime ~ Saturday, July 13, 2024

Anticipation, silently, I buzz
slinky as a little black dress, I bless

the ground beneath her mythic feet, I flee
how to escape a rape, a snake, I push
each apiarist far away, I seek

passion, the afterlife, poet, I guess
robes flowing to the marble floors, I see
only flies on the walls, summer, I die
visions of justice wronged, such breadth, I creak
each floorboard bends, a shade, such weight, I smoke
restless dust in the Underworld, I work
bitter memories into ash, I woke
in death to loveless emptiness, I twerk
at the nightclub, or a strip club, I cry
lonely as the other, my wife, I find

forgotten by the birds, sparrows, I hear
lingering in bushes, chatter, I break
into song, the women listen, I grind
each lens into ashes and dust, I want
selfish thoughts to disappear, soon, I fear

orbits of gravity escape, I stake
nothing but, yes, my loneliness, I trail

through tomato gardens, hopeless, I ask
humanity to remember, I fail
each day to uncover fortune, I mask

wealth in a magical disguise, I haunt
aspects of this world, ignorant, I shine
limber as a leaf, green as spring, I dream
language reaches the dead, absurd, I cream
slimy walls, maggots and pus, splat, I pine

Alien Citizen ~ Thursday, July 11, 2024

As the song, "Born in the U.S.A.", plays
silently, I rage inside with sorrow

the decades spent in this country, the fact
how I got here, to what purpose, it stays
empty, my lack of pride, lack of pleasure

silently, I seethe with rage, beg, borrow
or even steal, if to take what I lack
nowhere to run, ain't got nowhere to go
given two legs, I run to seek treasure.

Born in Bombay, millions I left behind
over and over, we moved, place to place
remember nothing, memories turn blind
nowhere is home, family is my disgrace

if alcoholism were a game show
not that I would ever know, now you see

the reason I studied philosophy
how I needed to make sense of childhood
emotional and sensitive, no good.

Until I became an adult, all grown
Sugar was sweet, I was beat, I was blown
Away by California girls, the years

passed, I grew up, I grew old, I shed tears
lonesome, an alien, a citizen
after my father died, a simpleton
yes, these words I string, a popcorn necklace
still, poor, no business sense, this room, my space

Karen ~ Wednesday, July 10, 2024

In my arms, you fit
not that I then understood

mistook the red flags
yet, here and now, sit

awaiting your sweet embrace
rest assured, I brood
mistakes, pack your bags
still, you I will always love

yes, my arms, this space
once you fit, I stare
until the window turns black

fixed, wishful, I dare
in a heart attack
to call out your name, my dove

Tirich Mir til topps ~ Wednesday, July 10, 2024

Once there was a time
not long ago, not at all
children were this tall
each child had a dime

time was the days were longer
how long no one knew
each child who could grew
really strong and then, stronger
each day the trees wept

wept for each child born
as each child grew very big
smaller than a pig

as big as a thorn

to adorn every rose bush
in time gardeners learned
many a child yearned
each day to grow in the Kush

Tussy Presides ~ Tuesday, July 9, 2024

The ego is fierce
how it will never let go
endless figure eights

even as to pierce
gallantly a large balloon
order is for show

if The President debates
seeking election

for a silver spoon
in an infant's mouth
elicits a certain charm
recent polls go south
contain the alarm
ejection in detection

मार ~ Sunday, July 7, 2024

Murderer demure
under death's dark influence
recovers her sense
decent and secure
even her apprehension
reveals affluence
egoless, immense
recovery in a cell

despite detention
execution row
masks her willingness to serve
under no Lucknow
response to observe
enmity, a bell

Singularity ~ Sunday, July 7, 2024

In one direction,
needless to say but I speak

of temporal sense;
now my objection,
earnest as a pledge: my plight

diminishes weak
introspection; hence,
remove the veil of white lies,
emerge into light;
correction: as time
takes no time whence to unfold
in itself: a chime
of one note, so bold
no one perceives its disguise.

Il pagliaccio ~ Friday, July 5, 2024

The world irritates
how it rubs against the grain
excites as to vex

witless dust frustrates
old ashen corpse broken down
reason out the brain
leave the world a hex
death spell or a placid lake

interview a clown
realize the smile
realize the fallen tear
invokes bitter bile
transform hate from fear
authenticity so fake
turn genuine strain
engaged in good sex
sieve water through clean sluice gates

ο αστεροφάγος ~ Thursday, July 4, 2024

At PK's, a bar, Irish, a chip shop
to associate football, Chicken Tikka Masala

Preposterous space, a pipe dream fitted
Kicks for penalties, or Papa Kitty
suck shit and die, this one life, upstairs, a bookstore and flights

a massage parlor, yoga studio

basking in the sun with a rooftop pool
a high-rise hotel, too much, location, Hyde Park, Hype Dark
remember the bills, the debts and the rent

If I were lucky, studied business, stars
ricochet across the sky at night, a meteor falls
if I were born rich, I'd clear the oceans
such debris to choke all of Alaska
how to end this endless life, full of marvel and wonder

asterophagos eats stars and pipe dreams

chonky, pitch black cat in the restaurant
helps himself to the food dropped and left for waste by patrons
if supporters knew how important dreams
placed and fitted square means to an artist

shrug your limp, drunken shoulders, why should you care, language bakes
hearty, Goan meals, Vindaloo Palace
order a Guinness in the Irish pub
pop on by for a massage or practice Haṭha yoga

Spell ~ Thursday, July 4, 2024

The Fourth of July. On this day, I cry
how I'm no longer a child, how fireworks appear so wild
each year, I grow old. Look back, sad and cold

Friends no longer lie on the couch, eat pie
on TV, The Twilight Zone, give the dead dog a Milk Bone
underneath, now mild, the floors newly tiled
rest from acting bold, a mask, a life sold
thoughtless, empty, from the start. Decisions, a work of art
how on my smartphone, I write poems, hone

old memories lost, knives rusted, the cost
forgotten, an old man weeps, others celebrate, he sleeps

Juju, black ice frost, winter beckons, tossed
under the bed, creeps out with yellow peeps
lingers awhile as eyes dart side to side, wary, claws smart
yet, how do they pry apart summer's dry

Karmann Ghia ~ Thursday, June 27, 2024

Commit suicides
over and over until
mom pulls out her hair
memories as brides
in waiting at the altar
torment my mind still

silly girl, how fair
until the sun burns your skin
if I in your car
create purpose, strive
if I could accept it all
decide I'm alive
each day, take the fall
still, throw out the rubbish bin

Are You Serious ~ Thursday, June 27, 2024

Why was I born, Dog
how glowing, scorching and bright
yesterday, the sun

wait, Sirius, Bog
a Polish God nominates
serious to slight

I am less than fun

born naked, Diogenes
obeys staves, creates
recent events, God
needles in my heartless eyes

Death becomes me, sod
ordinary lies
grant me bless you when I sneeze

Happy Birthday to Me ~ Thursday, June 27, 2024

I wish I were dead

wish that I was never born
if people I meet
sad sacks sold and bought
harbor ill-will in their words

I move on, no scorn

wish I were dead beat
ever never been a dad
remember the birds
each day in the trees

deciduous leaves cause strife
each day in the breeze
as I sweep my life
down the dustbin, sad

Damaged ~ Tuesday, June 25, 2024

Beyond the beyond
even words cannot describe
years ago I saw
over near a pond
no for rhymes sake I tell lies
decades ago a bribe

these lies no a claw
hold on on one leg a duck
even in disguise

brilliant as the past
each moment twenty twenty
yes even to cast
order as plenty
needless what the fuck
did one foot abscond

Cucullus ~ Tuesday, June 25, 2024

Wish I were creepy
if I crept through your window
soundless as an owl
hungry for sleepy

Indonesian spicy rice

would you show Aunt Flo
eyes under a cowl
remember I am a monk
even to play dice

creeping into bed
reaping in sin what I sow
even if you spread
eagle as I grow
perturbingly turgid spunk
yellow leaves weepy

American Hate Crime ~ Monday, June 24, 2024

Woman Tried to Drown 3-Year-Old Girl After Making Racist Comments, Police Say

A Texas woman tried to drown the child in the pool of an apartment complex last month, the police said. The child’s mother said her family was Palestinian and Muslim.

https://www.nytimes.com/2024/06/23/us/texas-woman-drown-child.html

Heav'n has no rage, like love to hatred turn'd,
Nor hell a fury, like a woman scorn'd.

~ William Congreve

Elizabeth Wolf lives her godless life
literally drowning children in hell
intoxicated in a public place
zephyr spouting racist rhetoric strife
ancient as slavery the western wind
blasts capital punishment charges smell
egregious behavior this brimstone space
touches a nerve in spring of twenty-four
how Pentecost descends as to rescind

Welcome to Ignorant America
only melting pot in the world where hate
lashes out to murder poor Erica
for Mrs H has no name to let fate

leave the victims alone open the door
if the pot simmers with no one around
varicose veins, pathologies galore
eternal ruler save us from unsound
solutions for her to settle the score

hell hath no fury like a woman scorned
every day in prison the mourning bride
remembers Elizabeth unadorned

godless in America Euless pride
old American delusions arise
delusions based on ideology
logic as politics what a surprise
every war comes with no apology
senseless sensibilities try to kill
successions of children swimming in pools

linger a moment hidden by the will
instantiations of madness from schools
foreign to American minds the Greek
education system to this I speak

TRUCE ~ Saturday, June 22, 2024

All is suffering ○ an orange decays □
lift the rind off of its flesh ○ needlessly dehydrated □
let pigs eat such pearls ○ or compost dried fruit □

in uncovering ○ raw flesh set ablaze □
sad and pathetic houses ○ aghast with spirited ghosts □

sadistic refresh ○ needlessly baited □
unless the good girls ○ give in to cold brut □
forget imaginary ○ ephemeral fantasies □
forget past spouses ○ deferential hosts □
elephants at dusk ○ elephants at risk □
remember the old boneyard ○ cast all delusion aside □
ivory yellow tusk ○ answers much too brusque □
needles under hard ○ yellow nails such pride □
grants the green olive fairy ○ success to fail overseas □

Addiction ~ Saturday, June 22, 2024

Find a better way
in a maze I smell the cheese
needlessly hungry
difficult to say

as to why I became lost

burdened by the breeze
each time this angry
temperamental white lab mouse
tips the scales, the cost
each day increases
rivers of cash flow backwards

work never ceases
as I look towards
yet another gambling house

connect ~ Monday, June 17. 2024

etched in the margins
this graffiti that i wrote
captured as doodles

hurled in rubbish bins
english dictionaries tossed
deemed worthless no vote

i eat my noodles
neatly in a china bowl
take back what i lost

helpless as a child
etched graffiti inside books
made stupid and wild

answers found in looks
remain etched deep in my soul
gifted with the touch

intuit the thoughts
nestled in their minds not much
sense how all the dots

Celerity Observes Light Equilibrium Yearning ~ Saturday, June 15, 2024

On a crystal clear
night, the Atlantic Ocean

awakens the mind

caught in becalmed seas
resting on the deck, watching
you name it above
stars and galaxies
tales of an Irish sailor
awakens the mind
left in the silence

caught in the wonder of time
left with the stillness
each moment unfolds
as a stealthy humpback whale
rises to blow air

Warszawa ~ Tuesday, June 11

A Chihuahua barks
shivering full of anger

if he barks, he hurts
flames erupt from sparks

I'm your angry Chihuahua

cuddly while danger
oversees flash spurts
underneath the sad façade
liquid Warszawa
decrees I prepare

clear-thinking blank slate children
as if I could care
reason occurs when
evidence of war, my God

To Do the Right Thing ~ Monday, June 10, 2024

The village idiot everyone knows
hungers for recognition but he blows
everyone away with his ignorance

vile rehearsal while he pretends to dance
if you were he what would you do instead
laugh at the breadwinners, spin on your head
laugh at your circumstances if you could
an idiot with self-awareness would
gain access to the kingdom as if woke
even a holy fool would blow less smoke

in the eyes of the audience, dry ice
dispensed from a machine, bright lights and spice
if the world is so dense not to smell shit
old, dirty drawers, stained what hits little bit
the fan, air all the gossip, so damned thick

every scent hell bent, einen Augenblick
virtual reality like a game
everyone plays although there is no shame
reality is not the same, the dream
yesterday is forgotten today, scream
orgasmic at the fog before your eyes
nothing but ecstasy as a disguise
everyone knows the truth that no one speaks

kiss the air beside each cheek, the floor creaks
nothing but rotten wood how to replace
old floorboards, the world of idiots trace
wicked history, sad but true events
sentiments aside, would you have the sense