Tuesday, March 20, 2018

Grief ~ Tuesday, 20 March 2018

They taught me how to beat
children by example
I learned how to torture

How to hide as a child
under the bed beyond
reach of both my parents

Exactly as Larkin
wrote in This Be The Verse
this curse he knew my grief

You know nobody knew
not my friends their parents
nobody was mature

Truly savvy to see
to notice a small boy
much too quiet to speak

About how alcohol
makes people corrupted
uninhibited fools

Understand when I call
my parents drunken fools
really it was just dad

Guess he was under stress
as a flight controller
for cargo lines whose bent

Happened after hours
to drink until dawn drive
home too tired for belief

Trained as a child to hurt
as an adult I flipped
the room inside my head

My faith to do no harm
to others is process
not overnight I freaked

Early in my late teens
lost my mind lost all trust
in family and house rules

Tragedy for a lost child
turned wild acting out death
was my dream never sad

Obviously normal
people don't understand
the confusion and pain

Being both good and bad
not knowing the better
between sorrow and lies

Each day I ask the Lord
to end this misery
this injustice unsaid

Ask and you shall receive
I now laugh at the Church
as pointless and insane

Taught me to ignore harm
my parents inflicted
it was the seventies

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