Pleasure to write, to read, to study and to run, to accomplish my best.
Leave the stars in the sky, in the darkness of night, the lights from outer space.
Emptiness in my heart, I remember your death, your intention to die.
Ask me how many stars I count among the dead, and still I live, undead.
Struggle to overcome the problems of this life, this world is suffering.
Under the sun, we shine as children, as adults, as we grow to become.
Remember memories, the good, the bad, forget nothing, remember this lifetime.
Even if I could still remember the good times overwhelmed by bad times.
Might I find the strength in sorrow to overcome the hopelessness of life.
Imagine other worlds, other lives in fiction to re-create the truth.
Given the blockages that shackle memories to imprison my mind.
Hungry for accolades, for some recognition, for a little success.
Trauma weighs down the heart, emotions, a dark veil, low clouds hide the buildings.
Cause the eyes not to see, the mind not to believe that the sun always shines.
Ask me if I knew then you were Schrödinger's cat, both alive and not dead.
Until we are certain we cannot know the truth of a situation.
Still, I stood there knocking, were you alive inside, or by then, suicide.
Even now I wonder what could I do to help save you from your own mind.
Her Karmann Ghia lost deep in my nostalgia, orange in her driveway.
Even if I could save her life, at this point now, a moot point; she saved me.
Remember my sorrow back then was depression before I found running.
Read poetry, read books of fiction, non-fiction, read whatever you want.
Each to their own, read books, read magazines, read minds, the writing on the wall.
Angelic graffiti in the Book of Daniel, is this the first instance?
Devotees vow to know the meaning of omens as interpretation.
Reading illegible scripts by the hand of God, Maradona knows well.
Every time I look back, I re-create my thoughts, memories imagine.
Associates aging imagine memories as past events they lived.
Double reverse logic, memories remember past events in themselves.
In a world without selves, we are only bodies, perceptions-sensations.
Nothing makes sense to us because it's not supposed to make sense to our minds.
Given we don't know God, nor know the mind of God, how do we perceive self?
Magnanimous ego perceives the self in light of the image of God.
Indeed, I laugh at sleeves dripping with shit, egos worn to serve no purpose.
Grant me but a moment to compose my guffaw, I cannot help but laugh.
How it comes out sideways, I cannot hide my self, true or false to the world.
Talking with an old fox, he let me bear my soul asking about my life.
Make merry, make merry, drink Bourbon neat, no ice to adulterate love.
Aching to see the past, to open the front door, to answer my questions.
Kiss the corpse, she made me cry in my solitude, in my car, I wailed death.
Even though she saved me, saved me from suicide, I became a monster.
Her life was more precious than my own as a man, thus I am a monster.
Even if no one else sees or believes these words, they dismiss me outright.
Restless as buzzing flies, I hover over death as the lord of the flies.
Know that I am not what I say I am, I lie as words are my tender.
Nothing is made legal without a certain point to pivot a lever.
Obsequious fawning, I am and I am not servile with a brown tongue.
Witness solemnity, I suffer in silence, my red dwarf shines crimson.
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