But there is a way, that is not to say
under the circumstances, she dances
to the sound of bells, tall and lithe, she sells
torn flags to defray the cost of hairspray
honest work for pay, never too clever
each man advances, what are the chances
real love, wishing wells, no one ever tells
ever expresses consent, no one meant
inkblots pressed ever impress to sever
symptoms from the mind, though she appears blind
ask around, how large her eyes grow, the spies
work, never to find whence they came, their kind
ask no questions, lies beneath each disguise
yet, she sees a fender dent, a coin bent
Sunday, December 31, 2023
Wednesday, December 27, 2023
Release ~ Wednesday, December 27, 2023
Who reads poetry? The point, I can see
hovers between catharsis and stasis
on the street, I hear people walk in fear
reason makes folks flee, when style sets us free
everyone forgets the war in a bar
as we leave, we kiss goodbye, we may miss
drunken banter, clear the house of stale beer
sickness from bottom shelf drinks, lets me think
pray, we try too hard, and mimic the Bard
or, nobody cares, it won't pay the fares
everyone throws down some pitch in a stitch
to save she who dares, who survives the stares
recently, a glitch allowed me to ditch
yellow newsprint for black ink, verses stink
hovers between catharsis and stasis
on the street, I hear people walk in fear
reason makes folks flee, when style sets us free
everyone forgets the war in a bar
as we leave, we kiss goodbye, we may miss
drunken banter, clear the house of stale beer
sickness from bottom shelf drinks, lets me think
pray, we try too hard, and mimic the Bard
or, nobody cares, it won't pay the fares
everyone throws down some pitch in a stitch
to save she who dares, who survives the stares
recently, a glitch allowed me to ditch
yellow newsprint for black ink, verses stink
Tuesday, December 26, 2023
Never Boils ~ Tuesday, December 26, 2023
Is there politics
seeping out of everything
throbbing like a pulse
hovering as hawks
enlisting children to war
reasoning as men
each death in valor
praised to the hilt, swords held high
ordains each nation
lifts it from the stench
in order to glorify
trembling, shaking hands
if witnessed, old men
creak in their weak joints and bones
simmers, the watched pot
seeping out of everything
throbbing like a pulse
hovering as hawks
enlisting children to war
reasoning as men
each death in valor
praised to the hilt, swords held high
ordains each nation
lifts it from the stench
in order to glorify
trembling, shaking hands
if witnessed, old men
creak in their weak joints and bones
simmers, the watched pot
Monday, December 25, 2023
Idiots ~ Monday, December 25, 2023
ESTRAGON. — Les gens sont des cons.
Born into the family, an alcoholic dad, an enabler mom
left with the torturers, my brother, my cousin, and their schadenfreude
on good days, all alone, I prayed to understand their laughter and my tears
on bad days, drunken rage, a cheetah in a cage, eat your food, nom nom nom
different than all the rest, smart, bright, loving and sweet, crush the gift, crush it now
yet, I survived childhood, unlike others who died, I wish I were but no
if I entertain you, to the Devil, read on, I became an adult
gave up on all my dreams, went to school, went to work, sought out the exploiter
no one can understand why another suffers, to exploit other's fears
organized religion, people believe in myths, sacrifice as a cult
rapture, the afterlife, I believe in each kiss, tipping the sacred cow
art within poetry, decades to fabricate, but what do people know
nothing but their own lies, afraid of life and death, people are idiots
that after fifty years, thirty years of meetings, therapy and what not
asinine, donkey ears, I hear the arguments, I fly by all those nets
perhaps I lack success, I failed to kick a goal, I'm no Odysseus
ever not to return, unlike the Greek hero, I am but sold and bought
since my birth in Bombay, this life has been absurd, karma places her bets
Saturday, December 23, 2023
Sold ~ Saturday, December 23, 2023
How to navigate the stupidity;
of course, people are people, but actions
work against their best intentions at times;
thus, the need to let go of memories,
of moments with newly-formed impressions;
naturally, retail is a business,
as any other beast of capital;
vengeance is not worth the effort, even
if only in the imagination;
gather all the love in the world, be kind,
act as others expect of you, move on;
the mistakes others make may seem by choice,
even though, events are arbitrary;
the world appears random, and difficult,
honestly, to live in as an adult;
even as children, nothing was easy;
still, to act as judge and jury against
the stupidity of others is wrong;
until people realize that systems
present a sense of logic and reason,
in this world, people may apologize
decidedly after the deed is done;
if no real damage occurs, then let go;
the nature of the beast is to sell goods;
yet, loving-kindness is the only good.
of course, people are people, but actions
work against their best intentions at times;
thus, the need to let go of memories,
of moments with newly-formed impressions;
naturally, retail is a business,
as any other beast of capital;
vengeance is not worth the effort, even
if only in the imagination;
gather all the love in the world, be kind,
act as others expect of you, move on;
the mistakes others make may seem by choice,
even though, events are arbitrary;
the world appears random, and difficult,
honestly, to live in as an adult;
even as children, nothing was easy;
still, to act as judge and jury against
the stupidity of others is wrong;
until people realize that systems
present a sense of logic and reason,
in this world, people may apologize
decidedly after the deed is done;
if no real damage occurs, then let go;
the nature of the beast is to sell goods;
yet, loving-kindness is the only good.
Wednesday, December 20, 2023
The Other Shore ~ Wednesday, December 20, 2023
Be as the ocean
everything as such changes
as an old mountain
suffer the motion
transitory, of the tides
how mountain ranges
erupt a fountain
of lava, as if upset
confession confides
each sentence spoken
and heard, the spell is broken
no love is lost, bet
everything as such changes
as an old mountain
suffer the motion
transitory, of the tides
how mountain ranges
erupt a fountain
of lava, as if upset
confession confides
each sentence spoken
and heard, the spell is broken
no love is lost, bet
Shikantaza ~ Wednesday, December 20, 2023
I am not homeless;
as I do not need money,
make haste, make haste, go!
now, I cannot guess,
or, assume you like to read;
tragic! how funny,
humans need to know
other people's business, but
mind if you take heed,
each for a moment;
look down, please, and tie your shoe;
each of us is spent,
so busy, the flu
shares its virus in your gut.
as I do not need money,
make haste, make haste, go!
now, I cannot guess,
or, assume you like to read;
tragic! how funny,
humans need to know
other people's business, but
mind if you take heed,
each for a moment;
look down, please, and tie your shoe;
each of us is spent,
so busy, the flu
shares its virus in your gut.
Sunday, December 17, 2023
Shot Down ~ Sunday, December 17, 2023
In a hot minute
no one cares about your dreams
as you drown in work
held accountable
only way out is escape
through dope, drink, or drugs
maybe you awoke
in a hot minute, you see
nothing but the lies
underneath the veil
the bride needs your arm candy
end the whole charade
no one cares about your dreams
as you drown in work
held accountable
only way out is escape
through dope, drink, or drugs
maybe you awoke
in a hot minute, you see
nothing but the lies
underneath the veil
the bride needs your arm candy
end the whole charade
Resigned ~ Sunday, December 17, 2023
It was not your choice
though, it was not their choice, too
whether to be born
as without a voice
scream all you like, no one cares
not your mom, the shrew
overwrought with scorn
took no notice, laughed at tears
your cries got blank stares
over the decades
understanding the sorrow
remember your shades
corny to borrow
hashtag cool without the cheers
ordinary folk
invent the Big Book
choose recovery or yolk
egg face, a new look
though, it was not their choice, too
whether to be born
as without a voice
scream all you like, no one cares
not your mom, the shrew
overwrought with scorn
took no notice, laughed at tears
your cries got blank stares
over the decades
understanding the sorrow
remember your shades
corny to borrow
hashtag cool without the cheers
ordinary folk
invent the Big Book
choose recovery or yolk
egg face, a new look
Monday, December 11, 2023
Bear Claw ~ Monday, December 11, 2023
My life turned over
though I did not know it, then
as a little boy
yes, a three-year old
with my first memory, thrust
into the trauma
life with my family
offered a creative, shy
introverted child
in this world, react
defensively, or respond
to events, a toy
found by a stranger
leads to the need to let go
or remain attached
even though, the mind
of a child lacks perspective
and context, drama
transforms consciousness
before the first memory
a felt sense, still wild
until repression
acts through civilization
to destroy gestalt
realize the mind
in all clarity, later
transcendent, detached
now, as an old man
it is too late to begin
much too old to try
eclipsed by the shame
of alcoholism, funny
how arbitrary
decisions decide
when and to whom one is born
I no longer cry
over memories
childhood misspent in error
nothing so scary
versions of the truth
all hidden within each lie
it is no one's fault
even I know this
no one chooses their birthright
but from this we learn
remember to burn
the candle at both ends, friends
lest you live to yearn
though I did not know it, then
as a little boy
yes, a three-year old
with my first memory, thrust
into the trauma
life with my family
offered a creative, shy
introverted child
in this world, react
defensively, or respond
to events, a toy
found by a stranger
leads to the need to let go
or remain attached
even though, the mind
of a child lacks perspective
and context, drama
transforms consciousness
before the first memory
a felt sense, still wild
until repression
acts through civilization
to destroy gestalt
realize the mind
in all clarity, later
transcendent, detached
now, as an old man
it is too late to begin
much too old to try
eclipsed by the shame
of alcoholism, funny
how arbitrary
decisions decide
when and to whom one is born
I no longer cry
over memories
childhood misspent in error
nothing so scary
versions of the truth
all hidden within each lie
it is no one's fault
even I know this
no one chooses their birthright
but from this we learn
remember to burn
the candle at both ends, friends
lest you live to yearn
Wednesday, December 6, 2023
Party Girl at MK-Ultra Fest, Chicago ~ Wednesday, December 6, 2023
Look Kool with Slow Owls
onstage playing EDM
offstage, you get high
kissing resin bowls
Kindred the Family Soul sings
onstage, next FM
offstage, the Wi-Fi
listens for a signal, beats
waking up to things
invisible, dark
the floor, and you in bare feet
how completely stark
Strength admits defeat
leave the coca for the streets
onstage, Raving Mad
with Privileged Entitlement
Offstage, dance until sunrise
with Grave Discontent
let expressive eyes
shine on LSD, how sad
onstage playing EDM
offstage, you get high
kissing resin bowls
Kindred the Family Soul sings
onstage, next FM
offstage, the Wi-Fi
listens for a signal, beats
waking up to things
invisible, dark
the floor, and you in bare feet
how completely stark
Strength admits defeat
leave the coca for the streets
onstage, Raving Mad
with Privileged Entitlement
Offstage, dance until sunrise
with Grave Discontent
let expressive eyes
shine on LSD, how sad
Saturday, December 2, 2023
Basecamp ~ Saturday, December 2, 2023
Saturday, asleep,
under the covers in bed,
criminal, I know;
how through dreams, I creep
around, and float like a ghost;
left, frozen, for dead,
on a mountain; show
no one my corpse; just walk past;
elevate the host,
light from light, deep blue;
yesterday, I left behind
darkness; the ague,
as fevered and blind,
yes, sick with dreams; climb down fast.
under the covers in bed,
criminal, I know;
how through dreams, I creep
around, and float like a ghost;
left, frozen, for dead,
on a mountain; show
no one my corpse; just walk past;
elevate the host,
light from light, deep blue;
yesterday, I left behind
darkness; the ague,
as fevered and blind,
yes, sick with dreams; climb down fast.
Sunday, November 26, 2023
Rotten Eggs ~ Sunday, November 26, 2023
There was a moment
how I felt a wince of guilt
even though a smile
really crooked, bent
emerged on my spiteful face
when I learned, I built
a reserve, a mile
surprisingly deep, a trench
as for such a space
mostly for the hate
obsolete in this new age
my bad, I felt need
even at this stage
not to bottle what I bleed
this fate, my workbench
how I seek revenge
old emotions, without love
when I heard, the child
I knew, my challenge
from her stomping on my head
eggs, I felt a shove
little girls gone wild
to say, she lost both her legs
as gangrene, she said
when her mother spoke
if diabetic coma
never such words broke
caused the air to 'fa'
each note sung broke rotten eggs
old man, not worth salt
for now, by default
given, karma is a bitch
under the old guard
ignorance, a stitch,
looped in time, saves lives, lies hard
to accept, my fault
even if I paint
vengeance, in blood, on the wall
even though, we know
nemesis, a faint
thoughtless idea of the Greeks
how could a girl fall
oblige me to blow
undue dust into the pan
given the horde speaks
horrid lies, to see
as beyond all idle talk
stories give us glee
make-believe to squawk
if awkward, brown sparrows scan
life as pointless words
eggs blame little birds
how I felt a wince of guilt
even though a smile
really crooked, bent
emerged on my spiteful face
when I learned, I built
a reserve, a mile
surprisingly deep, a trench
as for such a space
mostly for the hate
obsolete in this new age
my bad, I felt need
even at this stage
not to bottle what I bleed
this fate, my workbench
how I seek revenge
old emotions, without love
when I heard, the child
I knew, my challenge
from her stomping on my head
eggs, I felt a shove
little girls gone wild
to say, she lost both her legs
as gangrene, she said
when her mother spoke
if diabetic coma
never such words broke
caused the air to 'fa'
each note sung broke rotten eggs
old man, not worth salt
for now, by default
given, karma is a bitch
under the old guard
ignorance, a stitch,
looped in time, saves lives, lies hard
to accept, my fault
even if I paint
vengeance, in blood, on the wall
even though, we know
nemesis, a faint
thoughtless idea of the Greeks
how could a girl fall
oblige me to blow
undue dust into the pan
given the horde speaks
horrid lies, to see
as beyond all idle talk
stories give us glee
make-believe to squawk
if awkward, brown sparrows scan
life as pointless words
eggs blame little birds
Friday, November 24, 2023
Enable the Drunken Silence ~ Friday, November 24, 2023
How we did not know
inside memory is born
springs as the release
set to trigger slow
yet mechanical events
Foreseen with forlorn
insight without peace
troubled with childhood distress
Shut up within tents
how we never know
intensity guides spectrum
forget that we all grow
troubled by the hum
signals the need to depress
inside memory is born
springs as the release
set to trigger slow
yet mechanical events
Foreseen with forlorn
insight without peace
troubled with childhood distress
Shut up within tents
how we never know
intensity guides spectrum
forget that we all grow
troubled by the hum
signals the need to depress
Tuesday, November 21, 2023
Agnieszka ~ Tuesday, November 21, 2023
Too little, too late,
or, how to retire on beans,
or, work her to death;
leave nothing to fate
in this world, since money talks;
the old woman cleans,
though, beneath her breath,
little prayers, does she recite,
even though, she walks
through lives, without blame,
other's houses; beauty fades,
on her own, the shame
lines her face; she trades
advice on money, despite
the fact, she has none;
except for her son.
or, how to retire on beans,
or, work her to death;
leave nothing to fate
in this world, since money talks;
the old woman cleans,
though, beneath her breath,
little prayers, does she recite,
even though, she walks
through lives, without blame,
other's houses; beauty fades,
on her own, the shame
lines her face; she trades
advice on money, despite
the fact, she has none;
except for her son.
Saturday, November 18, 2023
Natural-born Birthright ~ Saturday, November 18, 2023
If you cannot say,
for God's sake, anything good,
yes, of course, say less;
of course, you must pay,
under penalty of law,
court costs, as you should;
as you cannot guess,
no one else should suffer harm;
not to see a flaw
of character, begs
the question of acting slack;
say, toward the dregs,
as you see they lack
your ability to charm.
for God's sake, anything good,
yes, of course, say less;
of course, you must pay,
under penalty of law,
court costs, as you should;
as you cannot guess,
no one else should suffer harm;
not to see a flaw
of character, begs
the question of acting slack;
say, toward the dregs,
as you see they lack
your ability to charm.
Wednesday, November 15, 2023
Pet Peeves ~ Wednesday, November 15, 2023
This life, as I see
haunts me moment by moment
if I get upset
still, I pay the fee
lift the veil to face my pride
if I act unbent
from what makes me fret
each moment, I sit and wait
as if, my ex-bride
senses why I pain
I must let go and enjoy
sounds drive me insane
each noise bangs a toy
each chalkboard, fingernails grate
haunts me moment by moment
if I get upset
still, I pay the fee
lift the veil to face my pride
if I act unbent
from what makes me fret
each moment, I sit and wait
as if, my ex-bride
senses why I pain
I must let go and enjoy
sounds drive me insane
each noise bangs a toy
each chalkboard, fingernails grate
Sunday, November 12, 2023
Sapphires in Silence ~ Sunday, November 12, 2023
The point of this is
how metaphors describe sense
exactly with rhyme
pretend the pop quiz
on rhetorical questions
is how a good fence
not only lends crime
this thought to save us from harm
or how suggestions
for removal begs
the question to examine
how thought stands on legs
in times of famine
standards fail, sound the alarm
if cannibals eat
such thoughts become meat
how metaphors describe sense
exactly with rhyme
pretend the pop quiz
on rhetorical questions
is how a good fence
not only lends crime
this thought to save us from harm
or how suggestions
for removal begs
the question to examine
how thought stands on legs
in times of famine
standards fail, sound the alarm
if cannibals eat
such thoughts become meat
Wake-up Call ~ Sunday, November 12, 2023
Upstairs, my neighbor
prepares her girls everyday
stomp, stomp, stomp above
try, as to ignore
as rambunctious trampoline
if floorboards could say
routinely, we shove
stupid children to the sky
my, my, my the scene
yes, I must let go
noisy from day one, no fun
everyday the flow
inside my head, none
given in advance, I cry
how to keep the score
but not care to stay
obviously, love
requires that much more
prepares her girls everyday
stomp, stomp, stomp above
try, as to ignore
as rambunctious trampoline
if floorboards could say
routinely, we shove
stupid children to the sky
my, my, my the scene
yes, I must let go
noisy from day one, no fun
everyday the flow
inside my head, none
given in advance, I cry
how to keep the score
but not care to stay
obviously, love
requires that much more
Lies ~ Sunday, November 12, 2023
To know the truth is
oxymoronic, at best
kill her with kindness
nothing but kismet
ordered but hidden, unknown
western thought will rest
their laurels and guess
how right they were, they are blind
even having sown
the fields with a plow
revealed in language as words
until we can show
the whole truth, the birds
haunt the bush, sparrows unkind
if the hidden stays
still, nothing dare sways
oxymoronic, at best
kill her with kindness
nothing but kismet
ordered but hidden, unknown
western thought will rest
their laurels and guess
how right they were, they are blind
even having sown
the fields with a plow
revealed in language as words
until we can show
the whole truth, the birds
haunt the bush, sparrows unkind
if the hidden stays
still, nothing dare sways
Saturday, November 11, 2023
Omniscience ~ Saturday, November 11, 2023
Did I imagine
if I let you go, you would
decide to come back
I see the engine
in bits, all taken apart
maybe if I could
ask for an eight-track
guaranteed to rock your world
it would be a start
no one knows, I cry
everyday, all these mistakes
in a heartbeat, try
for a moment, breaks
I saw no red flag unfurled
if I let you go, you would
decide to come back
I see the engine
in bits, all taken apart
maybe if I could
ask for an eight-track
guaranteed to rock your world
it would be a start
no one knows, I cry
everyday, all these mistakes
in a heartbeat, try
for a moment, breaks
I saw no red flag unfurled
The Ethics of Schadenfreude ~ Saturday, November 11, 2023
Is it my own fault
still I own up to the fact
if I act badly
to show lack of tact
might make others feel gladly
yet, with my mistake
only if I yield
within to other's pressure
no joy comes to pass
forget the deep fake
as I offer you dark hype
until the treasure
lifts from the sand, cast
thoughts to the stereotype
still I own up to the fact
if I act badly
to show lack of tact
might make others feel gladly
yet, with my mistake
only if I yield
within to other's pressure
no joy comes to pass
forget the deep fake
as I offer you dark hype
until the treasure
lifts from the sand, cast
thoughts to the stereotype
Tuesday, November 7, 2023
Loud, Naughty Neighbors ~ Tuesday, November 7, 2023
Manifold in type
as a passage into Hell
no one suffers worse
in terms of Dark Hype
forge a sense of happiness
or moments to dwell
long to end this curse
doubt the Devil will soon dance
if to second guess
night is not daytime
to imagine pain as joy
yes, thought is a crime
pretend God, a boy
escape this sorrow, no chance
as a passage into Hell
no one suffers worse
in terms of Dark Hype
forge a sense of happiness
or moments to dwell
long to end this curse
doubt the Devil will soon dance
if to second guess
night is not daytime
to imagine pain as joy
yes, thought is a crime
pretend God, a boy
escape this sorrow, no chance
Monday, November 6, 2023
Greet Not the Egret with Regret ~ Monday, November 6, 2023
I wait for my turn
as keynote speaker to tell
my story, my tale
Each day, I might learn
recovery is too hard
in the past, I fell
cast aside, too pale
as if love were just a word
No one drops their guard
I am now alone
as if I once had a choice
may all be as one
Enticing a voice
restless as a child unheard
insistent and strong
callous to forget
as loud as pre-dawn birdsong
Nothing new, regret
as keynote speaker to tell
my story, my tale
Each day, I might learn
recovery is too hard
in the past, I fell
cast aside, too pale
as if love were just a word
No one drops their guard
I am now alone
as if I once had a choice
may all be as one
Enticing a voice
restless as a child unheard
insistent and strong
callous to forget
as loud as pre-dawn birdsong
Nothing new, regret
Sunday, November 5, 2023
Cobainicide ~ Sunday, November 5, 2023
Next door, the boy with blonde hair, with blue eyes
eventually, got us all to listen
xenophobic claptrap radio crap
transmission, half-baked lies between fat thighs
demonic possession, easy excuse
obey unknown forces, her lips glisten
or, did he get sick of feeling the slap
residential, behind closed doors, abuse
take an ounce of dysfunction, makes you think
how the sweet boy next door blew out his brains
even years of drug use cannot foretell
beautiful heroin addict obtains
overarching social presence to sell
yesterday's news as history, let's drink
eventually, got us all to listen
xenophobic claptrap radio crap
transmission, half-baked lies between fat thighs
demonic possession, easy excuse
obey unknown forces, her lips glisten
or, did he get sick of feeling the slap
residential, behind closed doors, abuse
take an ounce of dysfunction, makes you think
how the sweet boy next door blew out his brains
even years of drug use cannot foretell
beautiful heroin addict obtains
overarching social presence to sell
yesterday's news as history, let's drink
Shotgun Solution ~ Sunday, November 5, 2023
Just blow your head off
until I die, I am next
still you're my hero
too fucked up, why scoff
bugger the oblique angles
lift the lid, so vexed
of course, love---zero
with tennis, who needs to win
yes, she wears bangles
old, stolen, fenced gold
until I'm dead, gone, long gone
rest in peace, live bold
heroin eats bone
eats marrow, eats faith, eats sin
as my hero, dead
death no longer means
orders from above, all lies
fuck, patch up your head
fuck, it's not worth beans
until I die, I am next
still you're my hero
too fucked up, why scoff
bugger the oblique angles
lift the lid, so vexed
of course, love---zero
with tennis, who needs to win
yes, she wears bangles
old, stolen, fenced gold
until I'm dead, gone, long gone
rest in peace, live bold
heroin eats bone
eats marrow, eats faith, eats sin
as my hero, dead
death no longer means
orders from above, all lies
fuck, patch up your head
fuck, it's not worth beans
Friday, November 3, 2023
Fairness Is Unfair ~ Friday, November 3, 2023
Fairness is a pie
apples are in abundance
inside, razor blades
rest, as if to die
now, we work ourselves to death
each day, off-balance
seek out fair pay grades
sense equality, the mean
if I calm my breath
sitting on the floor
abundant spirit is mine
poverty, a door
if wealth is a fine
even God cannot be clean
apples are in abundance
inside, razor blades
rest, as if to die
now, we work ourselves to death
each day, off-balance
seek out fair pay grades
sense equality, the mean
if I calm my breath
sitting on the floor
abundant spirit is mine
poverty, a door
if wealth is a fine
even God cannot be clean
Monday, October 30, 2023
Aletheia ~ Monday, October 30, 2023
Hibernating, Ben
in a cave, a grizzly bear
decidedly bored
dreamed within his den
exactly about what, fish
not just salmon, dear
but trout, for a horde
yet, unseen, melts in his mouth
difficult to wish
even this moment
simply for nutritious food
in his fatigue, bent
grinding teeth, to brood
now until spring, then head south
Saturday, October 28, 2023
Porichthys notatus ~ Saturday, October 28, 2023
If I were a fish
fa so la ti do re mi
I, Solfège, would sing
would that I could wish
every day to sing these scales
rest after High C
every time I bring
a sustained note to the corn
fields with the hay bales
instantly, my dad
sees his crops pop, and he smiles
how now he is glad
for a daughter, Miles
asks me to sing with his horn
fa so la ti do re mi
I, Solfège, would sing
would that I could wish
every day to sing these scales
rest after High C
every time I bring
a sustained note to the corn
fields with the hay bales
instantly, my dad
sees his crops pop, and he smiles
how now he is glad
for a daughter, Miles
asks me to sing with his horn
Monday, October 23, 2023
Purr, Purr Motörkitty ~ Monday, October 23, 2023
Impatient to get
money to burn rubber but
premature crankshaft
anticipates debt
turn the corner much too fast
instinct from the gut
ends the punk move, daft
nowhere fast, pure devotion
to speed, left aghast
trouble at each light
of course, signs, nobody reads
gekiga, to fight
elegant trance bleeds
tranquil without emotion
money to burn rubber but
premature crankshaft
anticipates debt
turn the corner much too fast
instinct from the gut
ends the punk move, daft
nowhere fast, pure devotion
to speed, left aghast
trouble at each light
of course, signs, nobody reads
gekiga, to fight
elegant trance bleeds
tranquil without emotion
Friday, October 20, 2023
People ~ Friday, October 20, 2023
The world is funny
how some never make mistakes
egregious faux pas
while others, sunny
on the outside, a façade
revel in the breaks
like little lambs, baa
deliberately unlike God
if their perfect teeth
shone like their blue eyes
forget the truth underneath
underneath the lies
no one even cares
no one sees the blood money
yet, it pays the fares
how some never make mistakes
egregious faux pas
while others, sunny
on the outside, a façade
revel in the breaks
like little lambs, baa
deliberately unlike God
if their perfect teeth
shone like their blue eyes
forget the truth underneath
underneath the lies
no one even cares
no one sees the blood money
yet, it pays the fares
Sunday, October 15, 2023
Yet, Invisible to the Naked Eye ~ Sunday, October 15, 2023
Tell me, why is Chip angry all the time
even if on his shoulder the old block
leaves fall not far off from the apple tree
let me explain, man to man, such a crime
makes apologies no longer worthwhile
even if "I'm sorry,," sounds like a crock
windows to the world outside, eyes that flee
horror after horror, inflicted Kurtz
yesterday, today, and tomorrow, smile
inflicted wrath hath no woman to scorn
scratch out his eyes, puncture his ears, nose cut
Chip cannot reveal his pain, was he born
honorably discharged from the womb, shut
inside a museum shows why he hurts
pleasure for others, a childhood misspent
as they call him, "a gentleman," what lies
no doubt, they see just what they want to see
grains of sand fall through the hourglass, his bent
rages against luminescence, the right
yes or no, to bear witness, unsound, flies
against all reason, live as happily
lest the wind blows the scent of incense out
left alone, damaged beyond hope, despite
turns of events, out of his control, shapes
hover in the darkness, Chip whistles tunes
every so often to not be scared, drapes
toss the breeze aside, see the ancient runes
if touch, touch fire, knowledge hidden in doubt
make it better, no one can, no one cares
every time anger grows, anger then shares
even if on his shoulder the old block
leaves fall not far off from the apple tree
let me explain, man to man, such a crime
makes apologies no longer worthwhile
even if "I'm sorry,," sounds like a crock
windows to the world outside, eyes that flee
horror after horror, inflicted Kurtz
yesterday, today, and tomorrow, smile
inflicted wrath hath no woman to scorn
scratch out his eyes, puncture his ears, nose cut
Chip cannot reveal his pain, was he born
honorably discharged from the womb, shut
inside a museum shows why he hurts
pleasure for others, a childhood misspent
as they call him, "a gentleman," what lies
no doubt, they see just what they want to see
grains of sand fall through the hourglass, his bent
rages against luminescence, the right
yes or no, to bear witness, unsound, flies
against all reason, live as happily
lest the wind blows the scent of incense out
left alone, damaged beyond hope, despite
turns of events, out of his control, shapes
hover in the darkness, Chip whistles tunes
every so often to not be scared, drapes
toss the breeze aside, see the ancient runes
if touch, touch fire, knowledge hidden in doubt
make it better, no one can, no one cares
every time anger grows, anger then shares
Saturday, October 14, 2023
Abwehrmechanismen ~ Saturday, October 14, 2023
Abwehrmechanismen
"Rude," Trickett said, "crude," "socially unattractive." We, nishikigoi
understood nothing, we were broccoli, small nails, woven as brocade
defense mechanics, engineering a system, triggers badly act
everything we learned, maladaptive behavior, we, kuji-kiri
tried to emulate parents and other adults, we lacked perspective
obtain a context, artists use tools, envision on a smaller scale
business makes me cry, finances gone out of whack, budgets in time smacked
exactly of blood, lose it, a rush to the head, loss of balance, cool
hunger, food and wealth, capital and property, learn how not to live
obsessive desires, overcome thought processes, act not like a thug
wonders cease never, an old man can learn new tricks, kindness is an art
network the practice, train the brain not to react, love requires a hug
obviously, words like sparrows chatter inane, we learn to act smart
tragic, an old man, without acceptance and grace, always plays the fool
"Rude," Trickett said, "crude," "socially unattractive." We, nishikigoi
understood nothing, we were broccoli, small nails, woven as brocade
defense mechanics, engineering a system, triggers badly act
everything we learned, maladaptive behavior, we, kuji-kiri
tried to emulate parents and other adults, we lacked perspective
obtain a context, artists use tools, envision on a smaller scale
business makes me cry, finances gone out of whack, budgets in time smacked
exactly of blood, lose it, a rush to the head, loss of balance, cool
hunger, food and wealth, capital and property, learn how not to live
obsessive desires, overcome thought processes, act not like a thug
wonders cease never, an old man can learn new tricks, kindness is an art
network the practice, train the brain not to react, love requires a hug
obviously, words like sparrows chatter inane, we learn to act smart
tragic, an old man, without acceptance and grace, always plays the fool
Friday, October 13, 2023
Badge ~ Friday, October 13, 2023
What they cannot know
how experience is not
available through
transmission, to show
to tell others how to be
how we are not taught
experience grew
yellow as a craven yolk
context, we shall see
assaults the senses
no perspective as a child
no sense of tenses
of wolves in the wild
the flesh and bone of the folk
kindness still evokes
no knowledge of right
or wrong, of sinister might
widows black smoke
how experience is not
available through
transmission, to show
to tell others how to be
how we are not taught
experience grew
yellow as a craven yolk
context, we shall see
assaults the senses
no perspective as a child
no sense of tenses
of wolves in the wild
the flesh and bone of the folk
kindness still evokes
no knowledge of right
or wrong, of sinister might
widows black smoke
Wednesday, October 11, 2023
A Smile, Buddha ~ Wednesday, October 11, 2023
Illumination
silent, if no one is there
in the woods, to hear
the sound, a station
neither here nor there, listen
otherwise, nowhere
trees fall, just a bear
this mindless consciousness lacks
old eyes that glisten
old ears that test bone
listen, while tractors clear-cut
acres, turn to stone
the post hears nought but
enlightenment, his face cracks
silent, if no one is there
in the woods, to hear
the sound, a station
neither here nor there, listen
otherwise, nowhere
trees fall, just a bear
this mindless consciousness lacks
old eyes that glisten
old ears that test bone
listen, while tractors clear-cut
acres, turn to stone
the post hears nought but
enlightenment, his face cracks
Sunday, September 24, 2023
Love, a Conundrum ~ Sunday, September 24, 2023
To say that there is
heaven or hell is a lie
even our parents
really knew better
even if they couldn't know
in all certainty
still should you believe
no one can stop you, as faith
obeys no reason
love is different
obviously, a practice
virtue seeks in truth
every illusion
in a standard deck of cards
nothing more nor less
this world is a test
how, when, why, anyone's guess
in failure, success
swallow the great lie
worship plums in the icebox
obey broken rules
roll the dice, gamble
lose everything, start over
demented zombie
ask yourself if love
necessarily exists
yes, as a concept
must we all believe
obey the logic of fools
righteous charlatans
everyone accepts
heaven or hell is a lie
even our parents
really knew better
even if they couldn't know
in all certainty
still should you believe
no one can stop you, as faith
obeys no reason
love is different
obviously, a practice
virtue seeks in truth
every illusion
in a standard deck of cards
nothing more nor less
this world is a test
how, when, why, anyone's guess
in failure, success
swallow the great lie
worship plums in the icebox
obey broken rules
roll the dice, gamble
lose everything, start over
demented zombie
ask yourself if love
necessarily exists
yes, as a concept
must we all believe
obey the logic of fools
righteous charlatans
everyone accepts
Friday, September 22, 2023
A Nose for Blood ~ Friday, September 22, 2023
Sniffer spent much time
nose in the library shelves
if only he knew
from tropical climes
foreign women found him cute
even they themselves
referred to the clew
still, he felt much like a beast
perhaps, like a brute
ever the bully
necessary, as a child
to act more wooly
muscles mean not mild
under duress, he could feast
chomping through a snack
hundreds in a day
tragically, myopic sight
in eyes, steel blue-gray
made fun of, to fight
elicits the charge, attack
nose in the library shelves
if only he knew
from tropical climes
foreign women found him cute
even they themselves
referred to the clew
still, he felt much like a beast
perhaps, like a brute
ever the bully
necessary, as a child
to act more wooly
muscles mean not mild
under duress, he could feast
chomping through a snack
hundreds in a day
tragically, myopic sight
in eyes, steel blue-gray
made fun of, to fight
elicits the charge, attack
Tuesday, September 19, 2023
It's Time to Depart ~ Tuesday, September 19, 2023
It's okay to say,
today is just not my day
sunshine, just a ray
of hope, helps you cope,
kissed at the end of your rope,
angels think you're dope,
yeah, just ask the Pope
tomorrow, you feel sorrow,
of course, an arrow
struck your heart, real smart,
ask yourself, is this the start,
yes, romance, fine art
today is just not my day
sunshine, just a ray
of hope, helps you cope,
kissed at the end of your rope,
angels think you're dope,
yeah, just ask the Pope
tomorrow, you feel sorrow,
of course, an arrow
struck your heart, real smart,
ask yourself, is this the start,
yes, romance, fine art
Sunday, September 17, 2023
Bombyx mori ~ Sunday, September 17, 2023
The silence I speak
however deafening, words
essentially build
silk cocoons so weak
it is a miracle tongues
loosen as some birds
enter guilds, unskilled
now to chatter in the bush
caution the wind, lungs
expire before long
I know for now I say less
speak no evil, wrong
perhaps not to guess
even to give a shove, push
as to my death, fall
killed by a train, bawl
however deafening, words
essentially build
silk cocoons so weak
it is a miracle tongues
loosen as some birds
enter guilds, unskilled
now to chatter in the bush
caution the wind, lungs
expire before long
I know for now I say less
speak no evil, wrong
perhaps not to guess
even to give a shove, push
as to my death, fall
killed by a train, bawl
Tuesday, September 12, 2023
Labor Induced to Suborn an Oath ~ Tuesday, September 12, 2023
With nothing to say
indeed nothing to convey
to ducks in a pond
how to reach beyond
not speaking evil for good
or how to shed wood
to say what I know
holds marionettes for show
if I were wholesome
need I act so dumb
given with nothing to gain
try hard, take great pains
obey all the rules
save face, still look like a fool
advance to the back
yes, for what I lack
indeed nothing to convey
to ducks in a pond
how to reach beyond
not speaking evil for good
or how to shed wood
to say what I know
holds marionettes for show
if I were wholesome
need I act so dumb
given with nothing to gain
try hard, take great pains
obey all the rules
save face, still look like a fool
advance to the back
yes, for what I lack
Saturday, September 9, 2023
Messenger Angel ~ Saturday, September 9, 2023
P. K. cannot say,
as to tell you what it means,
p means this, k that,
ask later, okay?
Kiss your whole family goodbye,
if you don't know beans,
take a moment, bat
those eyelashes at the boys;
yesterday, on Skye,
Sanford, messenger
angel of the isle, brought word,
no one may venture
further than unheard,
or face the horn, background noise,
roiling seas await,
death shall be your fate.
as to tell you what it means,
p means this, k that,
ask later, okay?
Kiss your whole family goodbye,
if you don't know beans,
take a moment, bat
those eyelashes at the boys;
yesterday, on Skye,
Sanford, messenger
angel of the isle, brought word,
no one may venture
further than unheard,
or face the horn, background noise,
roiling seas await,
death shall be your fate.
Friday, August 25, 2023
Into My Memory ~ Friday, August 25, 2023
We cannot remember your face
even your sultry voice haunts me
curly, red locks now disappear
a gravestone, I see, takes your place
no one to celebrate this day
no one to sing to, so off-key
obsidian glass fractures clear
thin-film interference fragments
reflections iridescent stay
eternally in the moment
memories change, time stays behind
enveloped in a shroud, time spent
missing a figment in my mind
broken by forces, full of dents
every time I drive past your house
remembering cheese, a brown mouse
yes, I could not save your short life
or your desire to hurt yourself
under the circumstances, death
responds as quickly as a knife
face facts, you are gone, I am here
a ghost of the past, to your health
count as capital wealth, each breath
each moment lost, your face, I sear
even your sultry voice haunts me
curly, red locks now disappear
a gravestone, I see, takes your place
no one to celebrate this day
no one to sing to, so off-key
obsidian glass fractures clear
thin-film interference fragments
reflections iridescent stay
eternally in the moment
memories change, time stays behind
enveloped in a shroud, time spent
missing a figment in my mind
broken by forces, full of dents
every time I drive past your house
remembering cheese, a brown mouse
yes, I could not save your short life
or your desire to hurt yourself
under the circumstances, death
responds as quickly as a knife
face facts, you are gone, I am here
a ghost of the past, to your health
count as capital wealth, each breath
each moment lost, your face, I sear
---
HBD JLC August 25. 1974 - April 28, 1997
Tuesday, August 22, 2023
A Blip on the Screen ~ Tuesday, August 22, 2023
In the world to come
nothing remains except dust
the dust of the past
has no sense of home
except the cosmos as one
weather the storms, gust
orders to the mast
recent winds convey a sense
lingering as fun
despite with no mind
to confirm the play of light
or shadow for blind
constellations, sight
only conveying absence
muscle in on lies
each speck spies the skies
nothing remains except dust
the dust of the past
has no sense of home
except the cosmos as one
weather the storms, gust
orders to the mast
recent winds convey a sense
lingering as fun
despite with no mind
to confirm the play of light
or shadow for blind
constellations, sight
only conveying absence
muscle in on lies
each speck spies the skies
Monday, August 21, 2023
Undo Done Undone ~ Monday, August 21, 2023
Harm does good to none
albeit lessons to learn
rarely come from help
many have begun
despite earning a hard past
or much time to burn
each wolf cub to whelp
still needs plenty love to grow
gain strength to run fast
over and above
others who make empty claims
desperate for love
to seek out new aims
observe how stars burn for show
no one knows how long
odds cast in favor
obey the rules to savor
noise from a wind gong
albeit lessons to learn
rarely come from help
many have begun
despite earning a hard past
or much time to burn
each wolf cub to whelp
still needs plenty love to grow
gain strength to run fast
over and above
others who make empty claims
desperate for love
to seek out new aims
observe how stars burn for show
no one knows how long
odds cast in favor
obey the rules to savor
noise from a wind gong
Saturday, August 19, 2023
Asinine Donkey Ears Fray ~ Saturday, August 19, 2023
Show you how to bray
how ridonkulous we are
objective donkey
we learn how to play
yes, I am a spiteful man
obey the dark star
underground chonky
how my big black cat grows fat
order words to span
weird measures as lies
talk shit, asinine tears fall
outshine pink cloud skies
bicker sparrows call
recent history to scat
art works we destroy
yes, call me sick boy
how ridonkulous we are
objective donkey
we learn how to play
yes, I am a spiteful man
obey the dark star
underground chonky
how my big black cat grows fat
order words to span
weird measures as lies
talk shit, asinine tears fall
outshine pink cloud skies
bicker sparrows call
recent history to scat
art works we destroy
yes, call me sick boy
Even More or Less ~ Saturday, August 19, 2023
We want them to hear
everything in three minutes
wait until they play
asinine noise near
neat tympanic membrane holes
terrifying cuts
tell them how to bray
how ridonkulous we sound
exit with the moles
map the train station
terrorize children to tears
order the nation
how we now switch gears
exit from the underground
artistic donkey
rest ear on chonky
everything in three minutes
wait until they play
asinine noise near
neat tympanic membrane holes
terrifying cuts
tell them how to bray
how ridonkulous we sound
exit with the moles
map the train station
terrorize children to tears
order the nation
how we now switch gears
exit from the underground
artistic donkey
rest ear on chonky
Tuesday, August 15, 2023
Truth Remains Hidden ~ Tuesday, August 15, 2023
From the very start
right before we left London
on my way to say
my farewell, the cart
trampled by the horse, I find
humbling, the fun done
even to pitch hay
versions of the real, I seek
even in the grind
remember the child
yesterday, I could not sleep
since no dreams were mild
trauma, make a peep
and lose a whole week, too meek
remember, to talk
too troubled to walk
right before we left London
on my way to say
my farewell, the cart
trampled by the horse, I find
humbling, the fun done
even to pitch hay
versions of the real, I seek
even in the grind
remember the child
yesterday, I could not sleep
since no dreams were mild
trauma, make a peep
and lose a whole week, too meek
remember, to talk
too troubled to walk
Monday, August 14, 2023
Ooh Baby, Baby ~ Monday, August 14, 2023
Welcome to the pain
everyday that we're alive
Just leave us alone
ugly and insane
sick on the inside, you see
thank God, we still thrive
Naked to the bone
empty, without any hope
experience free
despite trying hard
ask us if we really care
Helpless from the start
unable to share
give us a reason to cope
everyday that we're alive
Just leave us alone
ugly and insane
sick on the inside, you see
thank God, we still thrive
Naked to the bone
empty, without any hope
experience free
despite trying hard
ask us if we really care
Helpless from the start
unable to share
give us a reason to cope
Welcome to the Fear ~ Monday, August 14, 2023
Some people are strong,
obey the law, break the law,
make up their own rules,
embolden the throng,
perhaps, I am simply weak,
even with a flaw,
or, lacking the tools
perhaps, to face such moments;
leave me now to speak,
even though mistakes
ask me never to forget,
remember the breaks,
even bones reset,
struggle through mundane events,
take a deep breath, laugh,
remember to share
only what they want to hear,
no one needs to care
given the small gaffe.
obey the law, break the law,
make up their own rules,
embolden the throng,
perhaps, I am simply weak,
even with a flaw,
or, lacking the tools
perhaps, to face such moments;
leave me now to speak,
even though mistakes
ask me never to forget,
remember the breaks,
even bones reset,
struggle through mundane events,
take a deep breath, laugh,
remember to share
only what they want to hear,
no one needs to care
given the small gaffe.
Tuesday, August 8, 2023
Under the Covers ~ Tuesday, August 8, 2023
Tell me you love me,
even if it's all just lies;
leave me some roses,
leave them above me,
make sure they are out of sight;
even if my eyes
yellow; book closes
on the floor, after a fall,
until I sleep; fright
leaves me paralyzed
on a mattress, pillow top,
vaguely analyzed;
even as you drop
marbles, elegantly small,
ecstatically bright.
even if it's all just lies;
leave me some roses,
leave them above me,
make sure they are out of sight;
even if my eyes
yellow; book closes
on the floor, after a fall,
until I sleep; fright
leaves me paralyzed
on a mattress, pillow top,
vaguely analyzed;
even as you drop
marbles, elegantly small,
ecstatically bright.
Monday, July 24, 2023
Ambient Noise ~ Monday, July 24, 2023
Sometimes, I wish that I were never born
of course, the film, It's a Wonderful Life
made much of this idea in George Bailey
even if I were not unborn, to scorn
the world like a curmudgeon, an old crab
is to lack all respect because the strife
ministers to the will as host, daily
even if I break bread with my brother
still, I feel all alone as King Ahab
I will never be happy with myself
wish that I could live freely as a child
in this world, some collect dust on a shelf
some live in the moment, as if some wild
humor makes one life unlike another
that I feel limited in my choices
how my past actions decide the future
ask me why I run for thousands of miles
that I discover trapped within, voices
I hear beneath all the ambient noise
were I to hear a songbird immature
every morning wake me at dawn with tales
remembering dreams I have forgotten
each day suppressed as if these were my toys
never to ride a motorbike, the air
envelopes my body with emotion
voices suppressed by the will as if care
emerged meaningless against the ocean
resembling tides of force misbegotten
born, George Bailey makes good, a life of cheer
objections to the rule of law aside
reason guides me to overcome my pride
not to become a product of my fear
of course, the film, It's a Wonderful Life
made much of this idea in George Bailey
even if I were not unborn, to scorn
the world like a curmudgeon, an old crab
is to lack all respect because the strife
ministers to the will as host, daily
even if I break bread with my brother
still, I feel all alone as King Ahab
I will never be happy with myself
wish that I could live freely as a child
in this world, some collect dust on a shelf
some live in the moment, as if some wild
humor makes one life unlike another
that I feel limited in my choices
how my past actions decide the future
ask me why I run for thousands of miles
that I discover trapped within, voices
I hear beneath all the ambient noise
were I to hear a songbird immature
every morning wake me at dawn with tales
remembering dreams I have forgotten
each day suppressed as if these were my toys
never to ride a motorbike, the air
envelopes my body with emotion
voices suppressed by the will as if care
emerged meaningless against the ocean
resembling tides of force misbegotten
born, George Bailey makes good, a life of cheer
objections to the rule of law aside
reason guides me to overcome my pride
not to become a product of my fear
Wednesday, July 19, 2023
Adamantine Mind ~ Wednesday, July 19, 2023
In the world, I see
sapphires, rubies, emeralds,
and diamonds untame
nought but these three jewels,
and the invincible mind
I must overcome
trouble to subdue,
this adversary, I find
worthy to vanquish
how this obstacle
becomes my prime opponent
of all the wild game
evinced in spirit
I conquer mind within mind
without argument
welcome evidence
proves my own defeat of self
thus words leave me dumb
opponents as fire,
earth, air, and water leave me
to make my third wish
reflection informs
light within an illusion
language is best mute
lion licks his wounds,
his tongue, coarse as sandpaper,
in the sun, lies spent
diminished fifths play
intervals as aural chimes,
this I must perfect
I hear no difference
in this and augmented fourths,
analyze the score
see not with the eyes,
perceive not with the senses,
what might I detect
evidence unveiled
beyond all these emotions
to death, these horns gore
egos enslaved, bulls
care nothing for the three jewels,
but act as the brute
sapphires, rubies, emeralds,
and diamonds untame
nought but these three jewels,
and the invincible mind
I must overcome
trouble to subdue,
this adversary, I find
worthy to vanquish
how this obstacle
becomes my prime opponent
of all the wild game
evinced in spirit
I conquer mind within mind
without argument
welcome evidence
proves my own defeat of self
thus words leave me dumb
opponents as fire,
earth, air, and water leave me
to make my third wish
reflection informs
light within an illusion
language is best mute
lion licks his wounds,
his tongue, coarse as sandpaper,
in the sun, lies spent
diminished fifths play
intervals as aural chimes,
this I must perfect
I hear no difference
in this and augmented fourths,
analyze the score
see not with the eyes,
perceive not with the senses,
what might I detect
evidence unveiled
beyond all these emotions
to death, these horns gore
egos enslaved, bulls
care nothing for the three jewels,
but act as the brute
Monday, July 17, 2023
Mumma, Floccinaucinihilipilification, the Left-hand Path of the Non-resident Indian ~ Monday, July 17, 2023
The handwritten cards
you sent me for my birthday,
all of them, I kept
held by a ribbon,
a sentimental gesture,
I cannot forget
even though, I lie
to the reader who believes
everything they read
how I never knew
my grandmother as a friend
the seas, Jesus wept
ask me if I care
at fifty-four, shut the door
shut the fuck up, laugh
nothing worse than words,
poetry that sings like birds
verse catches worms, bet
did I stab your back
as a child, or just pretend
shock a friend, I bleed
words, meaningless words
they get in the way of breath
India, I left
right after my birth
by three months, that's what she said,
I, the fatted calf
if prodigal sons
were loved as well as black sheep,
Mumma, cut my throat
think how far I stray
my family couldn't care less
they made me this way
think how much I care
cynical, I have become
a lamb, not a GOAT
even the Muslim
to himself, he keeps ḥalāl
I'm evil, they say
nothing worse than verse
that does not praise illusions
love the goat bereft
caress away tears
Mumma, you were hardly there
asthmatic, I see
asthma in my lungs
in my breath when I am weak
so-called bonds, we share
remember you how
a woman complains a lot
to her son, he beats
destiny in me
my dad beats it out of me
the ordinary
see, I am stupid
like Americans I see
with whom I grew up
you were not there, no
you chose to go to Goa
asthma, if I dare
obey not the rule
to honor my grandmother
no one reads these sheets
understandably,
I cast aside delusions
categories, words
send me back, a child
to care for his grandmother
I was just a pup
even if I had
the time gone would be the same
not an Indian
no, Shashi Tharoor
that ignominious fuck
can shut the front door
the privileged writers,
bureaucrats, civil servants,
Uncle Cyprian
my daimonion,
not unlike Czesław Miłosz,
my head on the floor
even if I bow
so deeply, I lose balance
I hear early birds
for it is morning
in Chicago, old woman
and you are long gone
ordinarily,
I speak nothing of the dead
neither good nor bad
remember the dead
for soon you too will be gone
a blip on the screen
murder me Mumma,
a ghost could kill her grandson
a folktale at dawn
yellow is the yolk
of the egg, sun in the sky
Ramanujan writes
brilliant poetry,
"Lines to a Granny" short, sweet
not ugly and sad
if I tell some lies
about ribbons, it's to see
who knows where I've been
remember Mumma,
one grandmother out of two
Betty was herself
there in Nairobi,
so far away in Kenya,
once I reach the heights
how I met her once
at home in Huntington Beach
she came to visit
decidedly not
sentimental or stupid
of a different sort
ask me if I care
you had grandparents galore
dear readers, eat shit
yes, eat shit, dumb fucks
you and that Shashi Tharoor
eat shit, I abort
all cunts from the earth
men cunts and the women folk
these books on a shelf
left to mold, to rot
as for my experience
you can never know
leave me abandoned
a stranger to my kinfolk
grandparents mean nought
obviously, though
I go on and on and on
as if I don't care
for the crab must hide
deep feelings beneath his shell
of defense, a show
the cards in a box
tossed in with all the others
kept over the years
how to throw away
saccharine love songs, I hear
the birds call, I sought
ever so, the truth
I am but a speck of dust
worthless, as I stare
mysteriously,
at the crepuscular sky
I shed all my fears
I look at the light
ever-present, at sunrise
at sunset, sunshine
kiss my small brown ass
dumb-ass motherfucking cunts
you asinine twats
even if I love
no one and nothing, you made
me drink all that brine
please forgive me cunts
dear readers, pricks and twats grope
in the dark for watts
to say I don't care
is an obvious falsehood
why lose sleep for tears
you sent me for my birthday,
all of them, I kept
held by a ribbon,
a sentimental gesture,
I cannot forget
even though, I lie
to the reader who believes
everything they read
how I never knew
my grandmother as a friend
the seas, Jesus wept
ask me if I care
at fifty-four, shut the door
shut the fuck up, laugh
nothing worse than words,
poetry that sings like birds
verse catches worms, bet
did I stab your back
as a child, or just pretend
shock a friend, I bleed
words, meaningless words
they get in the way of breath
India, I left
right after my birth
by three months, that's what she said,
I, the fatted calf
if prodigal sons
were loved as well as black sheep,
Mumma, cut my throat
think how far I stray
my family couldn't care less
they made me this way
think how much I care
cynical, I have become
a lamb, not a GOAT
even the Muslim
to himself, he keeps ḥalāl
I'm evil, they say
nothing worse than verse
that does not praise illusions
love the goat bereft
caress away tears
Mumma, you were hardly there
asthmatic, I see
asthma in my lungs
in my breath when I am weak
so-called bonds, we share
remember you how
a woman complains a lot
to her son, he beats
destiny in me
my dad beats it out of me
the ordinary
see, I am stupid
like Americans I see
with whom I grew up
you were not there, no
you chose to go to Goa
asthma, if I dare
obey not the rule
to honor my grandmother
no one reads these sheets
understandably,
I cast aside delusions
categories, words
send me back, a child
to care for his grandmother
I was just a pup
even if I had
the time gone would be the same
not an Indian
no, Shashi Tharoor
that ignominious fuck
can shut the front door
the privileged writers,
bureaucrats, civil servants,
Uncle Cyprian
my daimonion,
not unlike Czesław Miłosz,
my head on the floor
even if I bow
so deeply, I lose balance
I hear early birds
for it is morning
in Chicago, old woman
and you are long gone
ordinarily,
I speak nothing of the dead
neither good nor bad
remember the dead
for soon you too will be gone
a blip on the screen
murder me Mumma,
a ghost could kill her grandson
a folktale at dawn
yellow is the yolk
of the egg, sun in the sky
Ramanujan writes
brilliant poetry,
"Lines to a Granny" short, sweet
not ugly and sad
if I tell some lies
about ribbons, it's to see
who knows where I've been
remember Mumma,
one grandmother out of two
Betty was herself
there in Nairobi,
so far away in Kenya,
once I reach the heights
how I met her once
at home in Huntington Beach
she came to visit
decidedly not
sentimental or stupid
of a different sort
ask me if I care
you had grandparents galore
dear readers, eat shit
yes, eat shit, dumb fucks
you and that Shashi Tharoor
eat shit, I abort
all cunts from the earth
men cunts and the women folk
these books on a shelf
left to mold, to rot
as for my experience
you can never know
leave me abandoned
a stranger to my kinfolk
grandparents mean nought
obviously, though
I go on and on and on
as if I don't care
for the crab must hide
deep feelings beneath his shell
of defense, a show
the cards in a box
tossed in with all the others
kept over the years
how to throw away
saccharine love songs, I hear
the birds call, I sought
ever so, the truth
I am but a speck of dust
worthless, as I stare
mysteriously,
at the crepuscular sky
I shed all my fears
I look at the light
ever-present, at sunrise
at sunset, sunshine
kiss my small brown ass
dumb-ass motherfucking cunts
you asinine twats
even if I love
no one and nothing, you made
me drink all that brine
please forgive me cunts
dear readers, pricks and twats grope
in the dark for watts
to say I don't care
is an obvious falsehood
why lose sleep for tears
Sunday, July 16, 2023
Why Buy the Cow? ~ Sunday, July 16, 2023
Little Red Rooster
wakes up each day before dawn
to crow at the sun
in the afternoon
he decides to cross the road
to the other side
tonight he wrestles
with the farmer's wife; she likes
he's a little cock
tomorrow he crows
as usual at the sun
and then has some fun
like the farmer's wife,
the farmer's daughters like him,
he has a quick mind
even though, one girl
wanted Little Red Rooster
to make her his bride
Red waits for Snow White
but her entourage of dwarves
were tough as a rock
even if the girls
twirl their pigtails at his beak
Little Red pretends
decency matters
when he gets the milk for free
he won't act unkind
Red knows people ask
why he needs to cross the road
if he feels chicken
obligations rise
the need to crow at the sun
to wake up early
obviously, Red
enjoys being a small cock
how he might thicken
slowly, in his chest
when he breathes slowly, the air
puffs his chest burly
trust in the struggle
the bantam cock loves a fight
sees how a tree bends
ever so alone
he stands on his stoop and screams
the hens wake with fright
rely on each day
to change and remain the same
Rooster sleeps at night
wakes up each day before dawn
to crow at the sun
in the afternoon
he decides to cross the road
to the other side
tonight he wrestles
with the farmer's wife; she likes
he's a little cock
tomorrow he crows
as usual at the sun
and then has some fun
like the farmer's wife,
the farmer's daughters like him,
he has a quick mind
even though, one girl
wanted Little Red Rooster
to make her his bride
Red waits for Snow White
but her entourage of dwarves
were tough as a rock
even if the girls
twirl their pigtails at his beak
Little Red pretends
decency matters
when he gets the milk for free
he won't act unkind
Red knows people ask
why he needs to cross the road
if he feels chicken
obligations rise
the need to crow at the sun
to wake up early
obviously, Red
enjoys being a small cock
how he might thicken
slowly, in his chest
when he breathes slowly, the air
puffs his chest burly
trust in the struggle
the bantam cock loves a fight
sees how a tree bends
ever so alone
he stands on his stoop and screams
the hens wake with fright
rely on each day
to change and remain the same
Rooster sleeps at night
Monday, July 10, 2023
Fierce ~ Monday, July 10, 2023
Hello, how are you doing today, my old friend? Shall I call you Nick?
Even if that's not your name or an epithet that you would accept.
Yet, yes, the Devil, my old friend, I call "Old Nick" but what's in a name?
Ordinarily, I wouldn't care to see you but you play the prick.
Force does not enforce arbitrary rules, so fit, not stated by law.
Fuck tha... fuck tha... fuck... I'd rather forget your show... as to intercept.
If I cared for you, the stupidity you breed, I might play your game.
Call me what you want, you might think reading this piece. Me, you cannot touch.
Exactly, my thoughts, especially, as I write these words without flaw.
Remember, blindness to our sense of delusion cannot see the real.
Guts, it takes real guts to care for other people. I lack compassion.
Officer Old Nick, bend over, grab your ankles. What it means to feel.
Officer Teufel, were you Latin Kings before you dressed this fashion?
Dig it! I dig it. I dig your grave with two slugs. The balls that you clutch.
Fuck tha... fuck tha... fuck... What's the point following orders? A tin badge, a Glock?
Officer Devil, what confers status of rank? River or mountain?
Remember that God, the Devil, Angels, Demons...imaginary.
Yes, make this shit up? Believe what you want, Teufel. Are you Mister Spock?
Of course, the Bible was radio and TV for generations.
Understanding lies, hyperbole and fiction as legends, we gain
Nothing but the fear of the unseen and unknown. The arbitrary
Order you enforce, based on prejudice not law, fits not with ordnance.
Wicked constables have to focus on nothing beyond their stations.
Grant me the wisdom to survive another day in suburban hell.
Of course, so Heaven and Hell...imaginary. Purgatory, too.
Fuck tha... fuck tha... fuck... The force cannot enforce lies. Here's Limbo, as well.
Underneath the greed, the need to feel powerful, shit beneath your shoe.
Cause precedes effect, the symptoms lead to the source. Feel the discordance.
Kill me if you like, it is within your power, but you lack the right.
Yesterday, I ran on the streets of Evanston. Shoved to the sidewalk.
Of course, siren wailed but a moment and I stopped to hear, disagree.
Understand, I see more than the stupidity. Boys who live to fight.
Remember, to die is no fear of mine to share. Fight another day.
Shoved to the sidewalk by the badge with loaded Glock, from afar, all talk.
Erroneous choice. To fuck with the accuser, the blood of Donne's flea.
Little I could do but get mad, run angrily. Check my attitude.
Fuck tha... fuck tha... fuck... Powerless and small, I felt. Hate cannot obey.
Concentric circles of a fortified city, Dante represents
Order within death. I am not this life, dwelling in spirit, I know
Nothing but this breath, this moment that too must pass, this turn of events.
Sidewalk, where we walk, not run, uneven, no fun. To run is to glow
To shine far greater than behind the wheel, he sits, sweltering and rude.
Ask me if I care, I would be lying to say bothered, I was not.
Bothered and annoyed by the world represented by the so-called law.
Law is divisive, argue on the battlefield, power, all the rage.
Every fool seeks wealth. He with a sieve, she with skulls. Power is a dot.
Of course, a moment passes, the balance may shift. I will have to wait.
Nothing of value lasts, as a blip on the screen, power is the claw.
Passionate lions fight for pride supremacy, never in a cage.
Ask me if I care. Yes, I care. It bothers me. If the truth be told.
Truth always hidden, rears its ugly face, science. Knowledge at the gate.
Remember, I live to fight another day, words, the might of a paw.
Obey ignorance. Lack of logic and reason. Life as on a stage.
Life is but the law, always changing while running, for I must be bold.
Even if that's not your name or an epithet that you would accept.
Yet, yes, the Devil, my old friend, I call "Old Nick" but what's in a name?
Ordinarily, I wouldn't care to see you but you play the prick.
Force does not enforce arbitrary rules, so fit, not stated by law.
Fuck tha... fuck tha... fuck... I'd rather forget your show... as to intercept.
If I cared for you, the stupidity you breed, I might play your game.
Call me what you want, you might think reading this piece. Me, you cannot touch.
Exactly, my thoughts, especially, as I write these words without flaw.
Remember, blindness to our sense of delusion cannot see the real.
Guts, it takes real guts to care for other people. I lack compassion.
Officer Old Nick, bend over, grab your ankles. What it means to feel.
Officer Teufel, were you Latin Kings before you dressed this fashion?
Dig it! I dig it. I dig your grave with two slugs. The balls that you clutch.
Fuck tha... fuck tha... fuck... What's the point following orders? A tin badge, a Glock?
Officer Devil, what confers status of rank? River or mountain?
Remember that God, the Devil, Angels, Demons...imaginary.
Yes, make this shit up? Believe what you want, Teufel. Are you Mister Spock?
Of course, the Bible was radio and TV for generations.
Understanding lies, hyperbole and fiction as legends, we gain
Nothing but the fear of the unseen and unknown. The arbitrary
Order you enforce, based on prejudice not law, fits not with ordnance.
Wicked constables have to focus on nothing beyond their stations.
Grant me the wisdom to survive another day in suburban hell.
Of course, so Heaven and Hell...imaginary. Purgatory, too.
Fuck tha... fuck tha... fuck... The force cannot enforce lies. Here's Limbo, as well.
Underneath the greed, the need to feel powerful, shit beneath your shoe.
Cause precedes effect, the symptoms lead to the source. Feel the discordance.
Kill me if you like, it is within your power, but you lack the right.
Yesterday, I ran on the streets of Evanston. Shoved to the sidewalk.
Of course, siren wailed but a moment and I stopped to hear, disagree.
Understand, I see more than the stupidity. Boys who live to fight.
Remember, to die is no fear of mine to share. Fight another day.
Shoved to the sidewalk by the badge with loaded Glock, from afar, all talk.
Erroneous choice. To fuck with the accuser, the blood of Donne's flea.
Little I could do but get mad, run angrily. Check my attitude.
Fuck tha... fuck tha... fuck... Powerless and small, I felt. Hate cannot obey.
Concentric circles of a fortified city, Dante represents
Order within death. I am not this life, dwelling in spirit, I know
Nothing but this breath, this moment that too must pass, this turn of events.
Sidewalk, where we walk, not run, uneven, no fun. To run is to glow
To shine far greater than behind the wheel, he sits, sweltering and rude.
Ask me if I care, I would be lying to say bothered, I was not.
Bothered and annoyed by the world represented by the so-called law.
Law is divisive, argue on the battlefield, power, all the rage.
Every fool seeks wealth. He with a sieve, she with skulls. Power is a dot.
Of course, a moment passes, the balance may shift. I will have to wait.
Nothing of value lasts, as a blip on the screen, power is the claw.
Passionate lions fight for pride supremacy, never in a cage.
Ask me if I care. Yes, I care. It bothers me. If the truth be told.
Truth always hidden, rears its ugly face, science. Knowledge at the gate.
Remember, I live to fight another day, words, the might of a paw.
Obey ignorance. Lack of logic and reason. Life as on a stage.
Life is but the law, always changing while running, for I must be bold.
Sunday, July 9, 2023
Bromide ~ Sunday, July 9, 2023
Platitudes matter,
such thoughtless banality
where words are evil
Lift up the curtain,
intelligence is surfeit
best to climb a tree
Arguments pointless
arrive at same conclusions,
the sound of a voice
Twisted ancient karma,
consequences to actions,
there is no devil
In a word, action
affirmative, Your Honor,
Mr. Chief Justice
Tell you no lies, truth
hidden in she with knowledge,
without gender, plead
Until the world cares,
blue in the face, hold your breath,
up to you, your choice
Dig until Xīzàng,
free China, Tibet follows
politics, a hole
Evidence lies flat
a society unfazed
by the injustice
Supreme of the Court,
welcome to America
don't drink the bromide
Make way for the mules
clueless, they walk, at leisure
their pleasure, to talk
Ask no questions, rise
from the ashes, old phoenix
birthday flags, my pride
Take Stonewall and laugh,
history is no party,
AIDS killed like a hawk
Take Civil Rights, King
the jaw hurts so badly, here
the bullet kills, skol
Even on deaf ears,
these words become meaningless
raise a bowl, your eye
Rebuttal, sling mud
cryptic but not commonplace
castles in the sky
such thoughtless banality
where words are evil
Lift up the curtain,
intelligence is surfeit
best to climb a tree
Arguments pointless
arrive at same conclusions,
the sound of a voice
Twisted ancient karma,
consequences to actions,
there is no devil
In a word, action
affirmative, Your Honor,
Mr. Chief Justice
Tell you no lies, truth
hidden in she with knowledge,
without gender, plead
Until the world cares,
blue in the face, hold your breath,
up to you, your choice
Dig until Xīzàng,
free China, Tibet follows
politics, a hole
Evidence lies flat
a society unfazed
by the injustice
Supreme of the Court,
welcome to America
don't drink the bromide
Make way for the mules
clueless, they walk, at leisure
their pleasure, to talk
Ask no questions, rise
from the ashes, old phoenix
birthday flags, my pride
Take Stonewall and laugh,
history is no party,
AIDS killed like a hawk
Take Civil Rights, King
the jaw hurts so badly, here
the bullet kills, skol
Even on deaf ears,
these words become meaningless
raise a bowl, your eye
Rebuttal, sling mud
cryptic but not commonplace
castles in the sky
Tuesday, July 4, 2023
Lifeline ~ Tuesday, July 4, 2023
Nine Eight Eight. Call me
later when you feel alone,
confused, without hope.
Imagine a world
where people don't care, money
makes the world go round.
Not that they don't care
at all but specifically,
they simply can't cope.
Even if they could,
they'd spend their whole lives trying
to live like the Pope.
Even if you called
back in the day, before now,
before nine eight eight
I cannot believe
you wanted anything more
than death, the unsound
Guarantee to end
suffering with suicide,
so you grabbed a rope.
However often
I replay that day, I find
you suddenly gone.
To say you were sad,
disaffected and distraught,
sorrow set a date.
Even if I knew
how to help you overcome
the pain of your past
I cannot believe
God wanted you to survive,
to live, even thrive.
Given, you are dead,
and I, left without my friend,
how long must this last?
How long must I grieve
the mistake I feel you made;
that I am alive
Take me from this world,
not you, my beautiful friend;
you are not alone.
Call me, I'm waiting
to hear your voice, whiskey sour,
raspy, husky, hoarse.
Ask me if I cried,
it took me weeks, all alone
in my car, I wailed.
Left with my anguish,
after all the strange questions
I could not answer
Left with my desire
to understand your despair,
I felt, I had failed
Myself to help you;
as if I arrived too late
to cure this cancer
Even metaphors
fall flat in the face of death;
now, I know the source.
later when you feel alone,
confused, without hope.
Imagine a world
where people don't care, money
makes the world go round.
Not that they don't care
at all but specifically,
they simply can't cope.
Even if they could,
they'd spend their whole lives trying
to live like the Pope.
Even if you called
back in the day, before now,
before nine eight eight
I cannot believe
you wanted anything more
than death, the unsound
Guarantee to end
suffering with suicide,
so you grabbed a rope.
However often
I replay that day, I find
you suddenly gone.
To say you were sad,
disaffected and distraught,
sorrow set a date.
Even if I knew
how to help you overcome
the pain of your past
I cannot believe
God wanted you to survive,
to live, even thrive.
Given, you are dead,
and I, left without my friend,
how long must this last?
How long must I grieve
the mistake I feel you made;
that I am alive
Take me from this world,
not you, my beautiful friend;
you are not alone.
Call me, I'm waiting
to hear your voice, whiskey sour,
raspy, husky, hoarse.
Ask me if I cried,
it took me weeks, all alone
in my car, I wailed.
Left with my anguish,
after all the strange questions
I could not answer
Left with my desire
to understand your despair,
I felt, I had failed
Myself to help you;
as if I arrived too late
to cure this cancer
Even metaphors
fall flat in the face of death;
now, I know the source.
Wednesday, June 28, 2023
Good Morning, Happy Birthday!!! ~ Wednesday, June 28, 2023
Uneven sidewalk,
looking through my bag, I fall
tumble to my side
now, I'm fifty-four
good morning, happy birthday
on my way to work
even the Metra
feels strange now from Evanston,
my first ride southbound
vengeance is zero
my palms scuffed, whom to complain
to, who must I chide
enjoy the train ride
sights and sounds, Cathy beside
me chats on her phone
nobody else cares
earbuds to block out all noise
I feel like a jerk
slip, fall, what a day
which way am I going, to see
not to see, I found
ignorance, a curse
crosses my lips, expletive
my voice speaks, not mute
deaf, dumb, and blind, truth
hides in knowledge, in neglect
attention, I own
eventually, mice
eat away to cut the thread,
when will I grow up
when will I become
the truth hidden in knowledge
faces show they know
as I grow older
honestly, I remain young
but unlike a pup
life throws obstacles
my way to avoid, deflect
if I take a blow
kindness falls like grace
manna from heaven, I live
I tumble and fall, cute
looking through my bag, I fall
tumble to my side
now, I'm fifty-four
good morning, happy birthday
on my way to work
even the Metra
feels strange now from Evanston,
my first ride southbound
vengeance is zero
my palms scuffed, whom to complain
to, who must I chide
enjoy the train ride
sights and sounds, Cathy beside
me chats on her phone
nobody else cares
earbuds to block out all noise
I feel like a jerk
slip, fall, what a day
which way am I going, to see
not to see, I found
ignorance, a curse
crosses my lips, expletive
my voice speaks, not mute
deaf, dumb, and blind, truth
hides in knowledge, in neglect
attention, I own
eventually, mice
eat away to cut the thread,
when will I grow up
when will I become
the truth hidden in knowledge
faces show they know
as I grow older
honestly, I remain young
but unlike a pup
life throws obstacles
my way to avoid, deflect
if I take a blow
kindness falls like grace
manna from heaven, I live
I tumble and fall, cute
Tuesday, June 20, 2023
River Flow ~ Tuesday, June 20, 2023
Here, there is this place,
that is not here, not a place
somewhere you go
every day, nowhere
you know but once you arrive
you know you were here
recently, if time
were not but an illusion
for you never left
each person resides
here, altogether as one
in the river flow
take a moment, sit
and breathe, for the illusion
is real yet not real
here, no illusion
exists, nor does not exist,
all within the sphere
even if you know,
you know you could never know
you are left bereft
remain with this lack
fully aware to deprive
a person denies
each affirmation
for a negation to grasp
the hands you may deal
imagine this space
that is without dimension
within all space-time
suddenly, you wake
to this life within a dream
but is not a dream
take a moment, breathe,
sit down, focus on nothing
this is not a crime
hit the button hard
to stop the express, the train
that comes to a scream
if you want off now
off the train that never stops
for truth beyond lies
suffer for your art
the joke, everyone suffers
reflect on your need
pleasure seeks out pain
to balance the perspective
outside all context
leave your mind alone
how does all this concern you
sense this is a game
ask yourself why me
reason with your emotions
find out what comes next
cease to give a damn
nothing and no one matters
blood red, all the same
even in this light
everyone appears alike
contradictions bleed
that is not here, not a place
somewhere you go
every day, nowhere
you know but once you arrive
you know you were here
recently, if time
were not but an illusion
for you never left
each person resides
here, altogether as one
in the river flow
take a moment, sit
and breathe, for the illusion
is real yet not real
here, no illusion
exists, nor does not exist,
all within the sphere
even if you know,
you know you could never know
you are left bereft
remain with this lack
fully aware to deprive
a person denies
each affirmation
for a negation to grasp
the hands you may deal
imagine this space
that is without dimension
within all space-time
suddenly, you wake
to this life within a dream
but is not a dream
take a moment, breathe,
sit down, focus on nothing
this is not a crime
hit the button hard
to stop the express, the train
that comes to a scream
if you want off now
off the train that never stops
for truth beyond lies
suffer for your art
the joke, everyone suffers
reflect on your need
pleasure seeks out pain
to balance the perspective
outside all context
leave your mind alone
how does all this concern you
sense this is a game
ask yourself why me
reason with your emotions
find out what comes next
cease to give a damn
nothing and no one matters
blood red, all the same
even in this light
everyone appears alike
contradictions bleed
Sunday, June 11, 2023
Ripple ~ Sunday, June 11, 2023
I see a picture
of me on the milk carton
with another boy
so is everyone
looking for me, I'm right here
way out in left field
even if John Smith,
the grounds keeper, said little
to nought to no one
even if his wife,
the naive, lonesome Dawn Smith
appeared not so coy
as a devious,
diabolical angel,
fallen with singed wings
pretending to be
good, honest and true, a lie,
I now know they wield
insight into death
as a plaything of children
who stare at the sun
causing the image
of that vast sphere to turn blue,
what machinations
to place little boys
deep beneath a baseball field,
where everyone sings
unsung praise for God
and country, viewing the flag
ripple on the pole
rip me a new hole,
where I may rest in peace, know
there is a tunnel
even as John Smith
drives a lawn mower above
me, dark as a mole
objects I can see
with a flashlight, my dad called
a torch, to funnel
fortune to this room,
where I can hear the crowds cheer,
under foundations
of me on the milk carton
with another boy
so is everyone
looking for me, I'm right here
way out in left field
even if John Smith,
the grounds keeper, said little
to nought to no one
even if his wife,
the naive, lonesome Dawn Smith
appeared not so coy
as a devious,
diabolical angel,
fallen with singed wings
pretending to be
good, honest and true, a lie,
I now know they wield
insight into death
as a plaything of children
who stare at the sun
causing the image
of that vast sphere to turn blue,
what machinations
to place little boys
deep beneath a baseball field,
where everyone sings
unsung praise for God
and country, viewing the flag
ripple on the pole
rip me a new hole,
where I may rest in peace, know
there is a tunnel
even as John Smith
drives a lawn mower above
me, dark as a mole
objects I can see
with a flashlight, my dad called
a torch, to funnel
fortune to this room,
where I can hear the crowds cheer,
under foundations
Friday, June 9, 2023
What if...? ~ Friday, June 9, 2023
Maybe I am wrong
to seek truth to understand
what remains hidden
of course, the whole truth
is simply a convention,
not the absolute
shudder to think, no
that I know the mind of God
when I swear an oath
each time in the courts
with my hand on the Bible,
what is forbidden
socially to speak
must be said as if I knew
synchronicity
in view of all time
occurring in one moment,
house of ill repute
no one seeks pleasure
more than I who seeks the law,
I who am not loath
concerning such facts,
to demonstrate my duty
as to speak my mind
how must I appeal
in word and deed, to convince
of cyclicity
inane conceptions
as if from analogy
when appearance feeds
cows grazing on grass,
the emptiness of ideas,
Plato and the forms
ages ago, time
burst without any witness
seeing a pipe bleeds
green or blue, a grue
of insidious beliefs,
a bleen, thunderstorms
orders of lightning
appeal to a creator,
Moses was not blind
what remains hidden
of course, the whole truth
is simply a convention,
not the absolute
shudder to think, no
that I know the mind of God
when I swear an oath
each time in the courts
with my hand on the Bible,
what is forbidden
socially to speak
must be said as if I knew
synchronicity
in view of all time
occurring in one moment,
house of ill repute
no one seeks pleasure
more than I who seeks the law,
I who am not loath
concerning such facts,
to demonstrate my duty
as to speak my mind
how must I appeal
in word and deed, to convince
of cyclicity
inane conceptions
as if from analogy
when appearance feeds
cows grazing on grass,
the emptiness of ideas,
Plato and the forms
ages ago, time
burst without any witness
seeing a pipe bleeds
green or blue, a grue
of insidious beliefs,
a bleen, thunderstorms
orders of lightning
appeal to a creator,
Moses was not blind
Sunday, June 4, 2023
Congé: A Ceremonious Bow ~ Sunday, June 4, 2023
I was once a child,
allegedly innocent,
sweet, gentle, carefree
What happened to me,
how did I become so lost,
a moth to the flame
As a young man, art
music, culture soaked my bones
I became a sponge
Slippery the slope
to becoming an adult
some never can see
Obstacles define
their existence until they
decide to climb out
Nimbly on two feet
or for some, two prosthetics
the real is no game
Call it blockages
or whatever you so choose
you must take the plunge
Expunge all the guilt
the shame, lunge past past mistakes
congé, to depart
Ask no permission
you and I are both adults
flow out the tea spout
Children never know
until they become adults
some may grow up fast
How lost I became
without care, guidance, support
these be the three keys
Insight becomes me
after fifty years of pain
at fifty-four, cast
Light into darkness
past the event horizon
move past this disease
Dysfunction destroyed
the soul, the spirit, the child
I was from the start
allegedly innocent,
sweet, gentle, carefree
What happened to me,
how did I become so lost,
a moth to the flame
As a young man, art
music, culture soaked my bones
I became a sponge
Slippery the slope
to becoming an adult
some never can see
Obstacles define
their existence until they
decide to climb out
Nimbly on two feet
or for some, two prosthetics
the real is no game
Call it blockages
or whatever you so choose
you must take the plunge
Expunge all the guilt
the shame, lunge past past mistakes
congé, to depart
Ask no permission
you and I are both adults
flow out the tea spout
Children never know
until they become adults
some may grow up fast
How lost I became
without care, guidance, support
these be the three keys
Insight becomes me
after fifty years of pain
at fifty-four, cast
Light into darkness
past the event horizon
move past this disease
Dysfunction destroyed
the soul, the spirit, the child
I was from the start
Wednesday, May 31, 2023
In the House of Atreus ~ Wednesday, May 31, 2023
I become not-I
not whole and without a soul
in the summertime
nothing is easy
in this life with Anattā
Teufel on my back
trout jump off the hook
el algodón es bajo
you feel my blood boil
hush little baby
you ain't rich or good lookin'
but once in your prime
end your tears, don't cry
once a crybaby, always
a crybaby, Bess
High-rise Chicago
long ago, watching the news
snow-blind almanac
old scores play new songs
boring ancient grudge matches
long feuds full of toil
under the mattress
feathers to rise, spread your wings
voler dans le vide
sky-red in orbit
Tantalus mourns the morning
when he must confess
eternal river
rises up singing of thirst
hunger the strange fruit
obey not the gods
take to the hills, run away
harm stands by to charm
forget the shoulder
fashioned from ivory tusks
forgive the old coot
Atreus trembles
not, the company he keeps
fearless smoke alarm
truculent family
ties know no peace, only war
this much I confide
reason sets to test
my faith in δαιμόνῐον
over disbelief
emptiness allows
the real world as illusion
knock on marble floors
underneath the dead
interred await the rapture
but not the trap doors
silence is golden
stillness in meditation
lose myself in grief
not whole and without a soul
in the summertime
nothing is easy
in this life with Anattā
Teufel on my back
trout jump off the hook
el algodón es bajo
you feel my blood boil
hush little baby
you ain't rich or good lookin'
but once in your prime
end your tears, don't cry
once a crybaby, always
a crybaby, Bess
High-rise Chicago
long ago, watching the news
snow-blind almanac
old scores play new songs
boring ancient grudge matches
long feuds full of toil
under the mattress
feathers to rise, spread your wings
voler dans le vide
sky-red in orbit
Tantalus mourns the morning
when he must confess
eternal river
rises up singing of thirst
hunger the strange fruit
obey not the gods
take to the hills, run away
harm stands by to charm
forget the shoulder
fashioned from ivory tusks
forgive the old coot
Atreus trembles
not, the company he keeps
fearless smoke alarm
truculent family
ties know no peace, only war
this much I confide
reason sets to test
my faith in δαιμόνῐον
over disbelief
emptiness allows
the real world as illusion
knock on marble floors
underneath the dead
interred await the rapture
but not the trap doors
silence is golden
stillness in meditation
lose myself in grief
Thursday, May 25, 2023
Monadnock Building ~ Thursday, May 25, 2023
There was once a day,
as I walked between stations
on my way to work,
how this small sparrow,
helplessly and hopelessly
down on the sidewalk,
entered mon œuvre,
as a metaphor for poor
people on the ground;
restless, little bird
screamed obscenities at me,
had he gone berserk?
entered my conscience,
so I could never forget
suffering the small...
winsome, little bird,
gone unheard and unnoticed,
by people who talk
ageless, mindless thoughts
of their petty, mundane lives
just to hear the sound,
steeped in bitter tea,
of their own shallow voices
in the noisy din
of the city streets
first thing in the bright sunshine
of the morning squall;
nothing I could do
to help the helpless sparrow
but feel great pity,
compassion, I thought,
lacking creativity,
but where do I start?
entered the sparrow
to engage with my karma,
the nitty-gritty
absence of mercy
I lacked ever since childhood;
a stone must depart
down into a lake
once tossed to skip wickedly
over the bruised skin,
across the surface,
to sink back into darkness
for decades long past;
yesterday, I spoke
about this sparrow to friends,
how long must this last?
as I walked between stations
on my way to work,
how this small sparrow,
helplessly and hopelessly
down on the sidewalk,
entered mon œuvre,
as a metaphor for poor
people on the ground;
restless, little bird
screamed obscenities at me,
had he gone berserk?
entered my conscience,
so I could never forget
suffering the small...
winsome, little bird,
gone unheard and unnoticed,
by people who talk
ageless, mindless thoughts
of their petty, mundane lives
just to hear the sound,
steeped in bitter tea,
of their own shallow voices
in the noisy din
of the city streets
first thing in the bright sunshine
of the morning squall;
nothing I could do
to help the helpless sparrow
but feel great pity,
compassion, I thought,
lacking creativity,
but where do I start?
entered the sparrow
to engage with my karma,
the nitty-gritty
absence of mercy
I lacked ever since childhood;
a stone must depart
down into a lake
once tossed to skip wickedly
over the bruised skin,
across the surface,
to sink back into darkness
for decades long past;
yesterday, I spoke
about this sparrow to friends,
how long must this last?
Monday, May 22, 2023
This Is What She Said ~ Monday, May 22, 2023
"This Is What She Said"
I have beaten
my wife
who was in
the bedroom
for which
I have no excuse
except
my honor
Forgive me
she was so sexy
I lost
all control
I have beaten
my wife
who was in
the bedroom
for which
I have no excuse
except
my honor
Forgive me
she was so sexy
I lost
all control
Sunday, May 21, 2023
so sweet and so cold ~ Sunday, May 21, 2023
With disapproval,
in a flash, the trigger cocks
with recognition
in a moment, heat
creates a harsh atmosphere
of judgment and dust,
thoughtless actions seek
the mirror of injustice
to right some past wrong;
how some disable
the switch for clear reflection,
where no cognition
detects the trigger
of trauma lost in the past
without emotion,
inside a process
to recover innocence
oxidized with rust;
some find the metal
to overcome their burden
when the filth sets strong
attractive forces
to neglect the whole process,
when sex, drugs and drink
prove alternatives
appear far more enticing
than strict devotion;
playing advocate,
as adversity rises,
with obstacles set
randomly in place,
according to its nature,
as chaos creates
objective standards
to lower the bar of care
to zero, a debt
value inverted,
as a version of the truth
unpaid generates
a sense of concern,
as neglect necessitates
its own need to think;
lacking strength within,
in the heat of the moment,
loss lacks contrition.
in a flash, the trigger cocks
with recognition
in a moment, heat
creates a harsh atmosphere
of judgment and dust,
thoughtless actions seek
the mirror of injustice
to right some past wrong;
how some disable
the switch for clear reflection,
where no cognition
detects the trigger
of trauma lost in the past
without emotion,
inside a process
to recover innocence
oxidized with rust;
some find the metal
to overcome their burden
when the filth sets strong
attractive forces
to neglect the whole process,
when sex, drugs and drink
prove alternatives
appear far more enticing
than strict devotion;
playing advocate,
as adversity rises,
with obstacles set
randomly in place,
according to its nature,
as chaos creates
objective standards
to lower the bar of care
to zero, a debt
value inverted,
as a version of the truth
unpaid generates
a sense of concern,
as neglect necessitates
its own need to think;
lacking strength within,
in the heat of the moment,
loss lacks contrition.
Friday, May 12, 2023
This Side of Darkness ~ Friday, May 12, 2023
To hear her rough voice,
hoarse and husky, erotic,
in her defense, sweet
scented psychosis.
Subtle vodka shots infused,
inebriated,
darkness spreads his wings
each time the drunken room spins;
open the front door,
for to save her life
Demanded swift attention;
archaic forces
released their captive;
kissed across her pale forehead,
nothing could be done,
everything in place,
success in repetition
switches her method.
hoarse and husky, erotic,
in her defense, sweet
scented psychosis.
Subtle vodka shots infused,
inebriated,
darkness spreads his wings
each time the drunken room spins;
open the front door,
for to save her life
Demanded swift attention;
archaic forces
released their captive;
kissed across her pale forehead,
nothing could be done,
everything in place,
success in repetition
switches her method.
Thursday, May 11, 2023
Adieu monde cruel ~ Thursday, May 11, 2023
I knew a woman...
knotted in braids, who once fit
nothingness neatly,
entirely packaged
within my lanky, brown arms;
as if I counted...
when all the world said
of all the people who looked
mainly like Jesus;
as if that spoke well,
not as an insult, to God.
knotted in braids, who once fit
nothingness neatly,
entirely packaged
within my lanky, brown arms;
as if I counted...
when all the world said
of all the people who looked
mainly like Jesus;
as if that spoke well,
not as an insult, to God.
Tuesday, May 9, 2023
Words Draw Water ~ Tuesday, May 9, 2023
What makes thoughts arise
hover in mid-air and tap
at the window, grow
tumultuous streams
masters of deep strife finance
acolytes of theft
kill conquistadors
even as they make landfall
scintillating till
twilight then questions
honest beggars of their crimes
over toast and tea
under viaducts
given the dreary rainfall
holy salt crackers
taste electrolytes
slipping through cracks in my tongue
artistic cowlick
ridiculous start
in search of a solution
seek not such answers
enter burnt sunshine
hover in mid-air and tap
at the window, grow
tumultuous streams
masters of deep strife finance
acolytes of theft
kill conquistadors
even as they make landfall
scintillating till
twilight then questions
honest beggars of their crimes
over toast and tea
under viaducts
given the dreary rainfall
holy salt crackers
taste electrolytes
slipping through cracks in my tongue
artistic cowlick
ridiculous start
in search of a solution
seek not such answers
enter burnt sunshine
Sunday, May 7, 2023
The Helical Ladder ~ Sunday, May 7, 2023
As a three-year old
we left London for New York
but that day, I died
Still it's all my fault
I was born and not stillborn
nor a miscarriage
An abortion lost
to the Hippocratic oath
I affirm my death
Took place in spirit
if not bodily murder
forsaken, I cried
How to live this life
without care, guidance, support
such was this marriage
Remnants of a past
when the essentials were it
to breathe my last breath
Enter a dark pact
with ha-satan to conceive
this life as espied
Even before birth
before conception, photons
beyond all space-time
Yes, speculation
creates this uncertainty
the principal crime
Ear down to the ground
listen for activity
the earth in motion
Asked to make amends
in the moment, at the time
an apology
Remember the pain
remains as a memory
the torture sustains
Obliged to tell lies
for defense mechanisms
what is this notion
Left as residue
this idea of a family
from biology
Drops from a stopcock
leaky, a broken condom
birth, a life in chains
we left London for New York
but that day, I died
Still it's all my fault
I was born and not stillborn
nor a miscarriage
An abortion lost
to the Hippocratic oath
I affirm my death
Took place in spirit
if not bodily murder
forsaken, I cried
How to live this life
without care, guidance, support
such was this marriage
Remnants of a past
when the essentials were it
to breathe my last breath
Enter a dark pact
with ha-satan to conceive
this life as espied
Even before birth
before conception, photons
beyond all space-time
Yes, speculation
creates this uncertainty
the principal crime
Ear down to the ground
listen for activity
the earth in motion
Asked to make amends
in the moment, at the time
an apology
Remember the pain
remains as a memory
the torture sustains
Obliged to tell lies
for defense mechanisms
what is this notion
Left as residue
this idea of a family
from biology
Drops from a stopcock
leaky, a broken condom
birth, a life in chains
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