Kitchen-sink Comedy ~ 2015.4.15

Kitchen. 5 AM.

J: Are you awake already? Before dawn?

X: I don't see what interest it is of yours.

J: Do you want some coffee? I just brewed a pot.

X: You brewed a pot!?! I set it up last night.

J: Ah yes, so you did. I guess I forgot.

X: Or you wanted to take credit for something you actually didn't do.

J: Why are you awake so early? You didn't wake up just to burn bridges did you?

X: Leave me alone. I'm going to the lake.

M: Good morning early bird! Up to catch some worms for breakfast.

X: God! I wish everyone would just lay off.

J: I'm sorry you're feeling grumpy...

X: I'm not grumpy! I'm trying to focus.

M: If you need to focus, maybe you should grab your camera and go take some photos of the sunrise.

X: Your puns bore me to death. I'm going to the lake to watch the geese.

J: Watch where you step. They tend to poop along the lakefront path.

M: What's your interest in geese?

X: I'm observing their behavior.

J: Ducks are so much nicer to watch.

X: I really don't care for your opinion regarding waterfowl.

S: Are you ready to go?

X: I just need to grab my camera.

S: Alright, hurry up then, we've gotta go!

-- (X and S leave through the back door)

M: Who in the hell was that?

J: His new girlfriend?

M: Did she stay overnight?

J: I don't know. I was asleep before ten.

M: Before the news came on?

J: Before Jimmy Kimmel and David Letterman.

M: They're on after the news.

J: I don't know. I fell asleep on the couch.

M: Did you brew the coffee? It tastes perfect.

J: Yeah, I'm getting better at it, wouldn't you say?

M: This is the best damn coffee you've ever made. You brewed it yourself?

J: Yup. First thing when I entered the kitchen. (beat)

M: It tastes as good as when Xavier brews it.

J: Oh yeah, he said he set it up last night. Could have sworn I started it this morning.

M: All you have to do is flip the switch, that's the easy part. Grinding the beans, Measuring the ratio of water to coffee grounds. Using a clean filter and cleaning the coffee maker...

J: Okay, okay. Just drink your damn coffee in peace. 

M: I'm going to see if the newspaper boy has ridden past our place yet.

J: Yeah, yeah. Whatever just leave me in peace.

-- (M steps out of the kitchen space)