We pass by each other
the disconnect clearly
apparent on your face
But since you cannot see
your own body language
your unconscious gestures
Like when I roll my eyes
with contempt at my boss
who requires an answer
As to whether a fool
knows when to act foolish
or by definition
Is too foolish to know
whether he acts foolish
on purpose or by chance
So when you walk right past
directing your eyesight
elsewhere as to detect
My presence obliquely
with your peripheral
vision while looking up
Over the crowd the stage
full of youthful dancers
who gain your attention
Than this insult to youth
this laughable old man
rigid uncool and strict
The fact remains we work
in the music venue
as co-workers not friends
Any expectation
on my part to find friends
at work is ill-advised
Like friends at school we learn
in the classroom ideas
about writing and art
But rarely take the time
to build the connections
to make a solid bond
I become cynical
as a dog in daylight
with a lamp for others
Burning so they can see
how foolish this old fool
has become or appears
Is it all just an act
so others won't dislike
a person like myself
An overactive mind
in a sterile body
more a priest than a saint
This body I accept
as others must accept
their own bodies accept
Without criticism
or complaint at the gift
as things could be much worse
But must I sublimate
my libido as mind
thinks perpetual thought
Even while I sleep thoughts
flow through my brain hidden
away like a machine
After father died luck
slipped from my grasp my love
became cold and sterile
Never a warm-hearted
big friendly chap my blood
ran cold as a river
Stream high in the mountains
too cold to take a bath
but to wash off the dirt
Became necessary
like brushing and flossing
my teeth when my breath stinks
Is this the importance
of wisdom perspective
puts things into context
Keeps me from going mad
again at twenty-one
all my friends moved away
No one to spend time with
as we become adults
the rules change bonds don't form
Easily for a fool
like myself who can't trust
himself to trust others
After father died love
of family meant nothing
as mother and brother
Showed how little they care
for an artist who fails
to succeed at his art
After five years I shut
the door and turned the keys
in their locks then broke them
Goodbye to those who show
love only on their terms
I don't care if I starve
To death though I'd prefer
not to die from hunger
I know now not to ask
For money for myself
or my girlfriend with dreams
of travel a better
Life than with an artist
poor stupid doesn't play
well with others a fool
My family taught me how
to love others with strings
attached like a puppet
I taught myself to cut
the puppet master's strings
to unlearn what I learned
To love no matter what
unconditionally
but choose your victims well
Ordinary people
don't understand poets
or artists as persons
Who cannot help but see
or feel with profound depth
extraordinarily
An intellectual
rubs people the wrong way
cannot apologize
Without appearing false
in conduct as she knows
better to make mistakes
Less likely or often
but that is not the case
rarely ever is true
Humans unless homeless
have a chance to redeem
themselves from past mistakes
Of course a polemic
in verse thrown in for fun
doesn't prove with logic
The merit of statements
that may offend tender
hearts with the ears of lambs
I cannot say my heart
sits unblemished my chest
in need of surgery
To remove my conscience
or cleanse the jewel of soot
burning in the furnace
You and I are distant
friends who to each other
mean little more than dust
I need not think too much
or worry about friends
they come and go like leaves
Turn on and off like light
switches work well or not
together disappear
These lines only written
as a study on ties
to double-knot laces
Only loosen with time
but an old fool rigid
and moral remains tight
Even when alcohol
gets added to the batch
I become fervently
Adherent to ideas
others find distasteful
against the principle
Laughter and happiness
create as if dissent
were honestly a crime
I am a criminal
of social etiquette
I just don't give a fuck
Enough to get along
but then I feel alone
and seek comfort of friends
It doesn't work both ways
the riddle of a cake
is it must be eaten
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