Tuesday, May 12, 2020

Behind Closed Doors ~ Tuesday, 12 May 2020

The first thing on my mind wasn't my mom, 
how I forget to buy Mother's Day cards, 
especially during a pandemic, 

forget is putting it mildly, I must 
intentionally block it out, the point 
really, to celebrate the one person 
sinister enough to neglect her son, 
to celebrate my mother is a shame, 

terrible a person I have become, 
how I found the path of antipathy, 
in that, I have no feeling for others, 
no compassion, no sense of empathy, 
given this trait, how could I not forget, 

oh, I must "fake it until I make it," 
no, that doesn't seem to work in this case, 

maybe my childhood wasn't really bad, 
yes, a fiction they think I created, 

mind you, I would prefer to be spiteless, 
indeed, to forgive and forget like you, 
no one would prefer this more than myself, 
doubt it would work with me, I remember 

windows of rain, but I was sensitive, 
and my brother and cousin saw their chance, 
saw an advantage to torture a child 
needlessly, a child with a defective 
trust barrier, a child who did not know 

misery recreates its company, 
yes, harm does harm to others, seeks to hurt, 

mission accomplished, the psyche damaged, 
only now I can't play like the others, 
monster that I am, I seek only pain. 

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