My mother thinks the drugs made me insane,
yet she cannot know what LSD does,
madness in our family runs in a stream
of consciousness unhindered by values,
the bourgeois expectations others have,
harnessed by my father with rod in hand,
ever to know never to spoil the child,
rod in hand, use it, use it with malice,
that my aunt in India was insane,
how my mom put the seed in me to tell
ignorant, lazy, impatient doctors,
no time for a proper diagnosis,
kill all hope at eighteen and at twenty,
sink or swim, you stupid immigrant wog,
that it took marathon training to clear
how many decades of erroneous
entitled mistakes, too little, too late,
drugs, hallucinogens, took me outside
reality, my abusive family,
under the rod of an alcoholic,
given control to sail the ship aground,
say father, why honor your memory,
murky waters for years, recovery
answers my prayers to a deaf, dumb, and blind
deity you call God, I call reason,
even justice couldn't care less about
my case or anyone else's, no time,
everyone too busy with their concerns,
if one doctor did finally step up
noticing my confusion after years
slumbering through this life, abandoned by
all in my family as insane, unsound,
never knowing how wrong they are, how dumb,
endlessly I write to prove my reason.
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