Boys get hurt and never talk about it
ouch is not in their vocabulary
yellow as scrambled eggs, cowards speak up
suck it up and feel the pain, all the shit
goes down the drain but their reputation
everyone knows how the pain gets scary
talk about it and word on the street, yup
how word gets around quicker than wildfire
understand, tears are an aberration
real pain is relative, boys never show
trauma to a therapist or a friend
aberrations wail, their salty tears glow
no one cares for the weak, lawyers defend
defenseless victims of hate crimes, admire
nervous wrecks never, bite their nails and fret
endless bickering about the dishes
victims of hate know only their abuse
effaced from the map of history, bet
rivers of blood, sweat and tears, work makes free
transient, rough sleepers, no one wishes
anger upsets their daily commute, truce
language games, egocentric empty shells
kiss the hermit crabs goodbye, their decree
aggression wins, hoodwinked by the godless
backstabbing, vindictive power players
oligarchs in white shirts, red ties, they mess
up the apple cart, order bruised layers
triumph as the President, hear the bells
in the church belfry, the bats flee elsewhere
take their business elsewhere, heard, fair fair
Tuesday, December 31, 2024
Monday, December 30, 2024
Nocturnal Genderfuck ~ Monday, December 30, 2024
Sorry, I lost my gum drops in my sleep
ordinarily, no, you wouldn't care
really, it is such a small stain, you know
really, I was simply counting black sheep
yes, I know, I will wash the sheets right now
I get these emissions at night, I share
liberally with the homeless, but grow
obviously confused when it all shrinks
suddenly (can I use that word), but how
timelessly ephemeral, it passes
maybe not unlike Walter Francis White
yet, how salacious this poet sasses
general public, not the band, but right
under their nose, their leader never thinks
maybe I'm wrong, maybe I just tell lies
decidedly, I must die as the worst
rebel anarchist who never shows up
originally, my fear was of spies
perhaps, I'm such a loser, no one sees
suffering and sorrow, hunger and thirst
incidentally, as steps on the path
no one sees with understanding the cup
much imagined as the grail, as I fail
you, my reader, as without a fresh breeze
seeing watches the ships as they set sail
lest I decide not to decide and sneeze
each day, I wonder if I can do math
each day, I wake lonely as it must please
pleasant peasants with plague on ships with fleas
ordinarily, no, you wouldn't care
really, it is such a small stain, you know
really, I was simply counting black sheep
yes, I know, I will wash the sheets right now
I get these emissions at night, I share
liberally with the homeless, but grow
obviously confused when it all shrinks
suddenly (can I use that word), but how
timelessly ephemeral, it passes
maybe not unlike Walter Francis White
yet, how salacious this poet sasses
general public, not the band, but right
under their nose, their leader never thinks
maybe I'm wrong, maybe I just tell lies
decidedly, I must die as the worst
rebel anarchist who never shows up
originally, my fear was of spies
perhaps, I'm such a loser, no one sees
suffering and sorrow, hunger and thirst
incidentally, as steps on the path
no one sees with understanding the cup
much imagined as the grail, as I fail
you, my reader, as without a fresh breeze
seeing watches the ships as they set sail
lest I decide not to decide and sneeze
each day, I wonder if I can do math
each day, I wake lonely as it must please
pleasant peasants with plague on ships with fleas
Friday, December 27, 2024
Glug, Glug, Glug ~ Friday, December 27, 2024
Worship, reverence and adoration
honesty, sweet as lies, nourishes bees
answer questions, soon arguments arise
transport deceased bodies for cremation
honesty kills apian colonies
answer what lies beyond the seven seas
please stop, observe dark clouds obscure blue skies
please tell bell tower bats to eat putrid flesh
entertain parish priests with policies
nothing but images within a hall
entertain the worthy with a basket
dread darkness, the mirror, the call to fall
worship welcomes the same in a casket
honesty lies within the Christmas crèche
entertain parishioners with a book
nothing but lies told to support the wraith
worship phantoms, images create twists
entertain false notions, the need to cook
please pound fists as gavels judge the matter
ordained as ordinary, restore faith
underground the Übermensch binds weak wrists
restore faith in the wraith, in politics
entertain politicians with chatter
dread idle chatter, sparrows burn the bush
murder apian colonies, honey
intensive identity, Hindu Kush
letters form words, believe in the money
kiss papal rings, support the crucifix
intensive inventions, mythology
nothing to confess, faith in nothingness
transport milk poured into milk to reveal
ordained objections to lithology
murder the stone surface, describe the rock
intensive vested interests, wickedness
letters litter infrastructure, conceal
kisses and more behind closed doors, the shock
honesty, sweet as lies, nourishes bees
answer questions, soon arguments arise
transport deceased bodies for cremation
honesty kills apian colonies
answer what lies beyond the seven seas
please stop, observe dark clouds obscure blue skies
please tell bell tower bats to eat putrid flesh
entertain parish priests with policies
nothing but images within a hall
entertain the worthy with a basket
dread darkness, the mirror, the call to fall
worship welcomes the same in a casket
honesty lies within the Christmas crèche
entertain parishioners with a book
nothing but lies told to support the wraith
worship phantoms, images create twists
entertain false notions, the need to cook
please pound fists as gavels judge the matter
ordained as ordinary, restore faith
underground the Übermensch binds weak wrists
restore faith in the wraith, in politics
entertain politicians with chatter
dread idle chatter, sparrows burn the bush
murder apian colonies, honey
intensive identity, Hindu Kush
letters form words, believe in the money
kiss papal rings, support the crucifix
intensive inventions, mythology
nothing to confess, faith in nothingness
transport milk poured into milk to reveal
ordained objections to lithology
murder the stone surface, describe the rock
intensive vested interests, wickedness
letters litter infrastructure, conceal
kisses and more behind closed doors, the shock
Wednesday, December 25, 2024
Zaboo Kitty kicks your head in again ~ Wednesday, December 25, 2024
Stone is a handsome demon racing fast
lithe and supple as a ballet dancer
objectified as to function and form
wisdom leads a runner to process past
nightmares hiding like truth in a closet
ephemeral as clouds, how to answer
surface questions in regards to the dorm
suffering the sorrow of first year lack
casual bystanders tried to reset
reductive thinking by offering praise
exactly the opposite of what works
essentially for guidance as to raise
programmed behaviors overcome by quirks
success is a slow process in the black
üpfenstägen was never a real choice
pretend it means something, then let it go
orders are orders to control, contain
negate affirmative response when voice
marks the spot with an X as if treasure
emancipated slave robots for show
tiny flecks in rivers of gold, obtain
obedience lessons at the dog school
bundles of ideas weigh heavy, pleasure
upholds the one value within self hate
remove the obstacles elephant boy
yes, the men cannot see beyond the gate
marching orders to defy, a boy toy
emulates death, one breath, Stone is a tool
lithe and supple as a ballet dancer
objectified as to function and form
wisdom leads a runner to process past
nightmares hiding like truth in a closet
ephemeral as clouds, how to answer
surface questions in regards to the dorm
suffering the sorrow of first year lack
casual bystanders tried to reset
reductive thinking by offering praise
exactly the opposite of what works
essentially for guidance as to raise
programmed behaviors overcome by quirks
success is a slow process in the black
üpfenstägen was never a real choice
pretend it means something, then let it go
orders are orders to control, contain
negate affirmative response when voice
marks the spot with an X as if treasure
emancipated slave robots for show
tiny flecks in rivers of gold, obtain
obedience lessons at the dog school
bundles of ideas weigh heavy, pleasure
upholds the one value within self hate
remove the obstacles elephant boy
yes, the men cannot see beyond the gate
marching orders to defy, a boy toy
emulates death, one breath, Stone is a tool
Saturday, December 21, 2024
The Eternal Return of Time ~ Saturday, December 21, 2024
How can I convey the visceral pain
of being too old to return but still
when I remember my childhood, it stabs
cuts me through listening to a song, strain
as I must to get through it to the end
now I feel I no longer have a will
I am now wary and now must keep tabs
cornered by my experience, I cry
only the tears never tumble, I bend
not from the hips but at the knees to pick
visions, as I imagine, off the floor
exactly when did I become this sick
yesterday, decades ago, shut the door
touch my palms to the ground, how I must try
help me, sweet Jesus, I am a sinner
each day, I dig my grave for no reason
victim of persona, the mask of loss
invent a tool to sit and make dinner
suck in each breath full of sorrow, I drown
cutting garlic, onions, bad faith, treason
experience in lies, thoughts stolen, toss
reason out the window, logic is a lack
attention to detail, I wear a crown
lightly cocked at an angle, no angel
present in appearance but a donkey
as it brays, I remember my pain pill
if to see no evil, the first monkey
needlessly gouged his eyes, all is black
of being too old to return but still
when I remember my childhood, it stabs
cuts me through listening to a song, strain
as I must to get through it to the end
now I feel I no longer have a will
I am now wary and now must keep tabs
cornered by my experience, I cry
only the tears never tumble, I bend
not from the hips but at the knees to pick
visions, as I imagine, off the floor
exactly when did I become this sick
yesterday, decades ago, shut the door
touch my palms to the ground, how I must try
help me, sweet Jesus, I am a sinner
each day, I dig my grave for no reason
victim of persona, the mask of loss
invent a tool to sit and make dinner
suck in each breath full of sorrow, I drown
cutting garlic, onions, bad faith, treason
experience in lies, thoughts stolen, toss
reason out the window, logic is a lack
attention to detail, I wear a crown
lightly cocked at an angle, no angel
present in appearance but a donkey
as it brays, I remember my pain pill
if to see no evil, the first monkey
needlessly gouged his eyes, all is black
Whenever the Ends Justify the Means ~ Saturday, December 21, 2024
I was once a drummer in a punk band
was it all lip service they fed us, then
accolades, cult of personality
slips through my fingers like grains of blonde sand
once a drummer always a drummer, no
no, facts are facts, practice makes perfect, when
circumstances hit the fan, no one cares
even if you have musicality
as I grew up into an adult, throw
drumsticks into the wall like sharpened knives
really it happened only once, anger
undermines perspective, full of passion
maybe this life wasn't for me, banger
mash, gravy when food becomes high fashion
even the kitchen, I failed with my shares
really, what is the point making a fuss
in this world, competition, dog eats dog
nobody cares unless you're at the top
argue about equity on the bus
passersby destroyed by greed and desire
until our turn to Worstward Ho, a cog
not only loose but neglected, the slop
kindness doles out for love, their words on fire
brutal to never play again, my friends
acted like this was normal and moved on
no, I was too fucked up, my mind was gone
drugs, glorious drugs, justify the ends
was it all lip service they fed us, then
accolades, cult of personality
slips through my fingers like grains of blonde sand
once a drummer always a drummer, no
no, facts are facts, practice makes perfect, when
circumstances hit the fan, no one cares
even if you have musicality
as I grew up into an adult, throw
drumsticks into the wall like sharpened knives
really it happened only once, anger
undermines perspective, full of passion
maybe this life wasn't for me, banger
mash, gravy when food becomes high fashion
even the kitchen, I failed with my shares
really, what is the point making a fuss
in this world, competition, dog eats dog
nobody cares unless you're at the top
argue about equity on the bus
passersby destroyed by greed and desire
until our turn to Worstward Ho, a cog
not only loose but neglected, the slop
kindness doles out for love, their words on fire
brutal to never play again, my friends
acted like this was normal and moved on
no, I was too fucked up, my mind was gone
drugs, glorious drugs, justify the ends
Friday, December 20, 2024
Autumn in Wintertime ~ Friday, December 20, 2024
At the Lululemon, love at first sight
the customer is always right is wrong
take a young woman and an older man
how the sparks fly, in his mind, they are tight
except, she is at work, working the floor
London observes from above the small throng
under the guise of security, span
lightning bolts to measure the length of sound
under Doppler effect, heard from the door
lost pitch value, in waves, lingers in ears
emulates a siren on the beach, call
me old-fashioned, love wipes away the years
old men in tears weep before women small
nevermore beautiful than a deer found
little more than an image in a dream
observed in a rear view mirror, so close
virtually, forever, more or less
eternity in a nutshell, a scream
advises the older man to observe
time as not on his side, another dose
fixes syncopated break beats, address
inferiority complexes fast
riddled with spent shells unseen since the curve
slides a fastball south into a sinker
troubles in Ulster, decades lost and dead
signals a peace accord, whilst to tinker
in the basement workshop, silent, unfed
granted amnesty, since then, the die cast
humanity cannot bear the red scare
threats to love, old and new, bid adieu, bear
the customer is always right is wrong
take a young woman and an older man
how the sparks fly, in his mind, they are tight
except, she is at work, working the floor
London observes from above the small throng
under the guise of security, span
lightning bolts to measure the length of sound
under Doppler effect, heard from the door
lost pitch value, in waves, lingers in ears
emulates a siren on the beach, call
me old-fashioned, love wipes away the years
old men in tears weep before women small
nevermore beautiful than a deer found
little more than an image in a dream
observed in a rear view mirror, so close
virtually, forever, more or less
eternity in a nutshell, a scream
advises the older man to observe
time as not on his side, another dose
fixes syncopated break beats, address
inferiority complexes fast
riddled with spent shells unseen since the curve
slides a fastball south into a sinker
troubles in Ulster, decades lost and dead
signals a peace accord, whilst to tinker
in the basement workshop, silent, unfed
granted amnesty, since then, the die cast
humanity cannot bear the red scare
threats to love, old and new, bid adieu, bear
Saturday, December 14, 2024
No Resistance ~ Saturday, December 14, 2024
Raised on the cult of personality
ask yourself why we believe in people
in very specific people to lead
servants of the god of vested interest
each day, avuncular nepotism
drives the economics of capital
obsessed with ego and with persona
no one goes unscathed by such politics
trust not in masks publicly worn to hide
how disingenuous and false their stride
engaged to deceive the people with words
critique reflects language in a mirror
until the gods of power and deceit
level the playing field with equity
trust resides in hope as false promises
obtain a disclaimer or a waiver
for travel abroad, a visa to work
professionally elsewhere, but not here
everywhere else the world awaits details
repercussions for politics, for choice
sugar is a poison for some, not all
obviously suffer, some even thrive
noticeably affected by the cause
arguments arise regarding fair play
law and order reconceived, dismantled
industry pertains to the war complex
transformed to invade and to overwhelm
yellow, we survive, yolk on our faces
ask yourself why we believe in people
in very specific people to lead
servants of the god of vested interest
each day, avuncular nepotism
drives the economics of capital
obsessed with ego and with persona
no one goes unscathed by such politics
trust not in masks publicly worn to hide
how disingenuous and false their stride
engaged to deceive the people with words
critique reflects language in a mirror
until the gods of power and deceit
level the playing field with equity
trust resides in hope as false promises
obtain a disclaimer or a waiver
for travel abroad, a visa to work
professionally elsewhere, but not here
everywhere else the world awaits details
repercussions for politics, for choice
sugar is a poison for some, not all
obviously suffer, some even thrive
noticeably affected by the cause
arguments arise regarding fair play
law and order reconceived, dismantled
industry pertains to the war complex
transformed to invade and to overwhelm
yellow, we survive, yolk on our faces
Bad Faith ~ Saturday, December 14, 2024
La Mauvaise foi
[1]
I am not what I say I am, I am
an elephant returned to the graveyard
memories come to die so I may live
needlessly suffering, a pathos clam
open and close, open and close, the past
takes over the present, a pickup card
a deck without jokers, floored, I forgive
no one but myself as a child, sorrow
emanates out of pain, a shadow cast
lovingly by the light, longing to hide
eclipsed by lunacy, madness, and bliss
pray to Gaṇeśa for luck, efface pride
happily ignorant of wisdom, kiss
animosity goodbye, tomorrow
nervously before I awake, reborn
through reincarnation, world full of scorn
[2]
I was born in Bombay, the second son
as unwanted as a used, bloody rag
memories flood my consciousness at times
no one imagines life is never fun
only children of abusive parents
that there was abuse is given, I sag
as a man without guidance, without crimes
not to think of myself a criminal
as neglect is not overt, aberrants
not only form groups but form music bands
if I were smart as a savvy adult
maybe I would not struggle to hold hands
as if love were anything to exult
left alone, the shame was subliminal
[3]
I know nothing of the alcoholic
as an adult, I suffered as a child
maybe I was much too wild, all my fault
as a clueless child, I prayed to Moloch
how I longed to be devoured by the god
until I learned better, I was too wild
mythology taught me to run and vault
as a child, I never could get away
not from family, their sense of humor, odd
but I was given food, clothing, shelter
even now I cannot complain of love
if I sound ungrateful, helter skelter
never straight but round and round with a shove
given from behind, Salaam Bombay!
[4]
I return to Mumbai a grown-ass man
ancient to the infant who left by plane
maybe my soul met Icarus in flight
as he crashed and burned, as if he could span
meteoric heights to stumble and slam
aspirations into the sea, insane
noble shadow, the waxwing slain, not bright
[1]
I am not what I say I am, I am
an elephant returned to the graveyard
memories come to die so I may live
needlessly suffering, a pathos clam
open and close, open and close, the past
takes over the present, a pickup card
a deck without jokers, floored, I forgive
no one but myself as a child, sorrow
emanates out of pain, a shadow cast
lovingly by the light, longing to hide
eclipsed by lunacy, madness, and bliss
pray to Gaṇeśa for luck, efface pride
happily ignorant of wisdom, kiss
animosity goodbye, tomorrow
nervously before I awake, reborn
through reincarnation, world full of scorn
[2]
I was born in Bombay, the second son
as unwanted as a used, bloody rag
memories flood my consciousness at times
no one imagines life is never fun
only children of abusive parents
that there was abuse is given, I sag
as a man without guidance, without crimes
not to think of myself a criminal
as neglect is not overt, aberrants
not only form groups but form music bands
if I were smart as a savvy adult
maybe I would not struggle to hold hands
as if love were anything to exult
left alone, the shame was subliminal
[3]
I know nothing of the alcoholic
as an adult, I suffered as a child
maybe I was much too wild, all my fault
as a clueless child, I prayed to Moloch
how I longed to be devoured by the god
until I learned better, I was too wild
mythology taught me to run and vault
as a child, I never could get away
not from family, their sense of humor, odd
but I was given food, clothing, shelter
even now I cannot complain of love
if I sound ungrateful, helter skelter
never straight but round and round with a shove
given from behind, Salaam Bombay!
[4]
I return to Mumbai a grown-ass man
ancient to the infant who left by plane
maybe my soul met Icarus in flight
as he crashed and burned, as if he could span
meteoric heights to stumble and slam
aspirations into the sea, insane
noble shadow, the waxwing slain, not bright
Tuesday, December 10, 2024
Duḥkha ~ Tuesday, December 10, 2024
What does it mean to write philosophy
how to communicate the breadth of thought
as ideas breathe emptiness into life
turn upside-down faith in theosophy
demonstrate in language beyond belief
obtain status with concepts sold and bought
entitlement and privilege cut through strife
shrug off the slavery of words, language
in faith, leads suffering beyond all grief
transforms practice in delusions of sense
make practice make perfect beyond the good
enter illusion, past and future tense
argue past the emptiness of dead wood
nuzzle forgotten books, scents that sandwich
trust in systems between anarchic wit
obligations to ivory ethics
witness the horrific, shudder to think
reasonably, horses champ at the bit
insanity to believe in science
transcendental mythos as aesthetics
essentially blind to the unknown, drink
phantom deer blood, rituals of mankind
haunted by victims of torture, nonsense
inherits the inhabitants of Earth
lick their wounds like a dog licks her anus
obliged to enjoy misery since birth
soak up the sauce with bread, face of Janus
observes both forwards and backwards to find
pity for the living, wandering blind
hopelessly lost, helpless as a child found
yearning as an adult for help, unsound
how to communicate the breadth of thought
as ideas breathe emptiness into life
turn upside-down faith in theosophy
demonstrate in language beyond belief
obtain status with concepts sold and bought
entitlement and privilege cut through strife
shrug off the slavery of words, language
in faith, leads suffering beyond all grief
transforms practice in delusions of sense
make practice make perfect beyond the good
enter illusion, past and future tense
argue past the emptiness of dead wood
nuzzle forgotten books, scents that sandwich
trust in systems between anarchic wit
obligations to ivory ethics
witness the horrific, shudder to think
reasonably, horses champ at the bit
insanity to believe in science
transcendental mythos as aesthetics
essentially blind to the unknown, drink
phantom deer blood, rituals of mankind
haunted by victims of torture, nonsense
inherits the inhabitants of Earth
lick their wounds like a dog licks her anus
obliged to enjoy misery since birth
soak up the sauce with bread, face of Janus
observes both forwards and backwards to find
pity for the living, wandering blind
hopelessly lost, helpless as a child found
yearning as an adult for help, unsound
Friday, December 6, 2024
Zecchino ~ Friday, December 6, 2024
Sequins shimmer like Venetian gold coins
hungry for battle or, the hunt with bow
each quiver, fletched arrows, nimble and quick
worshipful from the crown down to the loins
artful, the old codger watches his hawk
lithe, agile and graceful, she fells a doe
kindness and the love of blood sport, dark, thick
sable tresses tumble in threefold locks
ingenious curls engineered as to gawk
needlessly, at beauty, they stare, awkward
buggers, Albigensian heretics
eradicated, none to preach the Word
age and sex disregarded, bundle sticks
underneath the stakes to smoke out the fox
tunnels underground, what history lost
yolk in the face of the Church, teach pure hate
late capitalism, the current stage
inherit inequality, no cost
kindness kills the Cathars with ropes hung high
exploit otherness as ideas to mate
terror with blindness as metaphors rage
hopelessly against the physical form
exterminate the rats, to sell and buy
narcissism, echoes heard on shortwave
inflation, high gas prices, lengthy lines
general malaise, ill at ease, buy more to save
hungry for war, the world full of landmines
tragedy, just a word, before the storm
hungry for battle or, the hunt with bow
each quiver, fletched arrows, nimble and quick
worshipful from the crown down to the loins
artful, the old codger watches his hawk
lithe, agile and graceful, she fells a doe
kindness and the love of blood sport, dark, thick
sable tresses tumble in threefold locks
ingenious curls engineered as to gawk
needlessly, at beauty, they stare, awkward
buggers, Albigensian heretics
eradicated, none to preach the Word
age and sex disregarded, bundle sticks
underneath the stakes to smoke out the fox
tunnels underground, what history lost
yolk in the face of the Church, teach pure hate
late capitalism, the current stage
inherit inequality, no cost
kindness kills the Cathars with ropes hung high
exploit otherness as ideas to mate
terror with blindness as metaphors rage
hopelessly against the physical form
exterminate the rats, to sell and buy
narcissism, echoes heard on shortwave
inflation, high gas prices, lengthy lines
general malaise, ill at ease, buy more to save
hungry for war, the world full of landmines
tragedy, just a word, before the storm
Malbork ~ Friday, December 6, 2024
Affluence and influence set the stage
for history as a playground for fools
forget the past, suffer consequences
lightly taken, powder kegs to engage
unseen forces, ignite the spark of war
engagé, committed to reason, tools
needed as expenses to mend fences
consequences result in false outcomes
enter the world of neglect, sets the score
adjust the angle of the mirror, dark
notes of memories, silence, trauma, rape
direct the anger towards the flash, spark
ignorance for lies, appalled, mouth agape
nothing for stone cold black diamonds, all thumbs
forging clumsily ahead, maladroit
litter the oceans with senseless debris
until the clean-up crew appears
ears grounded for sonor as to exploit
natural resources and leave the rest
clutter with infrastructure underground
empty of value, walk away, garbage
serve the gods, cash money falls from the tree
ego makes for good presidents, their fears
transform domestic policy, mortgage
terror for equity, trauma is best
haunt ghosts with horror films in surround sound
epic cataclysmic disaster shows
sample the product, junkies feel no shame
transport the goods, profit from retail cost
androids await instructions, blue light glows
golden, ingots replace the ancient frame
eclipse the sun, billionaires ever lost
for history as a playground for fools
forget the past, suffer consequences
lightly taken, powder kegs to engage
unseen forces, ignite the spark of war
engagé, committed to reason, tools
needed as expenses to mend fences
consequences result in false outcomes
enter the world of neglect, sets the score
adjust the angle of the mirror, dark
notes of memories, silence, trauma, rape
direct the anger towards the flash, spark
ignorance for lies, appalled, mouth agape
nothing for stone cold black diamonds, all thumbs
forging clumsily ahead, maladroit
litter the oceans with senseless debris
until the clean-up crew appears
ears grounded for sonor as to exploit
natural resources and leave the rest
clutter with infrastructure underground
empty of value, walk away, garbage
serve the gods, cash money falls from the tree
ego makes for good presidents, their fears
transform domestic policy, mortgage
terror for equity, trauma is best
haunt ghosts with horror films in surround sound
epic cataclysmic disaster shows
sample the product, junkies feel no shame
transport the goods, profit from retail cost
androids await instructions, blue light glows
golden, ingots replace the ancient frame
eclipse the sun, billionaires ever lost
Αἰγείδης ~ Friday, December 6, 2024
To lead a life of purpose and impact
of course, my impacted wisdom tooth jests
lost without a porpoise or dolphins in
endorphins swimming in my brain, intact
as augmented fourths and diminished fifths
drives the unbroken and unimpaired in tests
as sobriety, the blackbird's field, djinn
liberated in battle, a tritone
imparts tonal difference with parting gifts
figure eights on thin ice, broken hymen
epileptic, elliptical orbit
out of sorts, on the floor, as Ahriman
forges in the smithy, flying carpet
pretend without a goal, a new smartphone
understands, at twenty, my weeping rage
ridiculous to imagine this life
putrefaction and putridity kind
obey the laws, matter, organic sage
swindled again by empty promises
embryonic curfew cuts with a knife
absent the rabbit hole, without sun, blind
never to see the light, who cares, she dares
deliver her half-witted, half-brother
impartial as heroes in provinces
maritime, black flag sails, a father drowns
protect the family name from the other
artful as guile, sly, cunning, wily clowns
crack the stink bug, right-handed hamsa fares
toll roads with total disregard, infract
of course, my impacted wisdom tooth jests
lost without a porpoise or dolphins in
endorphins swimming in my brain, intact
as augmented fourths and diminished fifths
drives the unbroken and unimpaired in tests
as sobriety, the blackbird's field, djinn
liberated in battle, a tritone
imparts tonal difference with parting gifts
figure eights on thin ice, broken hymen
epileptic, elliptical orbit
out of sorts, on the floor, as Ahriman
forges in the smithy, flying carpet
pretend without a goal, a new smartphone
understands, at twenty, my weeping rage
ridiculous to imagine this life
putrefaction and putridity kind
obey the laws, matter, organic sage
swindled again by empty promises
embryonic curfew cuts with a knife
absent the rabbit hole, without sun, blind
never to see the light, who cares, she dares
deliver her half-witted, half-brother
impartial as heroes in provinces
maritime, black flag sails, a father drowns
protect the family name from the other
artful as guile, sly, cunning, wily clowns
crack the stink bug, right-handed hamsa fares
toll roads with total disregard, infract
At the Salt Mines ~ Friday, December 6, 2024
The world is full of ignorant people
honestly blind to how others may feel
even though they know no one likes the smell
when a housebroken puppy poops indoors
obviously, the owner feels the need
rightly so, to teach a lesson, the nose
lightly touches the poop, how sensitive
dogs are to scent, they know they have done wrong
if the owner is ignorant they push
shit up the nostrils of their dog, they think
forever the dog will never forget
unwittingly, defense mechanisms
lay the groundwork for a broken psyche
like master like servant, the dog as slave
ordinary power politics play
full-court press very rarely while at work
ignorance is everywhere, be cautious
given the climate of the holidays
no one knows how stress will affect someone
ordinarily, people full of cheer
resolve anger issues badly, lash out
as others ask why, hidden, in plain sight
needlessly neglected, unattended
taunting, bullying, between two people
perhaps it sounds strange with the holidays
engineered as a respite from the cold
old boy office politics reigns, hatred
particularly of what is other
leave consideration aside, the dog
ends up with kinder owners, still fucked up
honestly blind to how others may feel
even though they know no one likes the smell
when a housebroken puppy poops indoors
obviously, the owner feels the need
rightly so, to teach a lesson, the nose
lightly touches the poop, how sensitive
dogs are to scent, they know they have done wrong
if the owner is ignorant they push
shit up the nostrils of their dog, they think
forever the dog will never forget
unwittingly, defense mechanisms
lay the groundwork for a broken psyche
like master like servant, the dog as slave
ordinary power politics play
full-court press very rarely while at work
ignorance is everywhere, be cautious
given the climate of the holidays
no one knows how stress will affect someone
ordinarily, people full of cheer
resolve anger issues badly, lash out
as others ask why, hidden, in plain sight
needlessly neglected, unattended
taunting, bullying, between two people
perhaps it sounds strange with the holidays
engineered as a respite from the cold
old boy office politics reigns, hatred
particularly of what is other
leave consideration aside, the dog
ends up with kinder owners, still fucked up
Saturday, November 30, 2024
Concealed ~ Saturday, November 30, 2024
You who are, are not ~ in a sense, no one
of course, my defense ~ as apology
underscores logic ~ up, up and away
when, then, you are caught ~ off guard, with your gun
how can I help you ~ you are, in this state
on edge, no offense ~ but astrology
as biologic ~ genetic survey
resolves nothing but ~ more pain in the end
empty of value ~ open to debate
arguments aside ~ what have you to gain
remember the fun ~ you had as a kid
each G.O.A.T. has their pride ~ I was once insane
nerves burnt by the sun ~ once, the highest bid
ostracized, my gut ~ who would thee befriend
terror in a sense ~ accepts the abuse
initiate choice ~ voiceless as a child
nitwit that I am ~ always on the prowl
as for you, so tense ~ and blindly abstruse
solve the problem, not ~ the solution, cast
each stone, to rejoice ~ in the sea, for wild
noises in a clam ~ upsets with a growl
sufficient to cause ~ alarm without calm
empirical dot ~ explodes with a blast
nothing to do now ~ but to start again
only if you fuss ~ we leave you alone
or the sacred cow ~ tipped with stylus pen
nervous on the bus ~ watches as a drone
empties without pause ~ chambers full of charm
of course, my defense ~ as apology
underscores logic ~ up, up and away
when, then, you are caught ~ off guard, with your gun
how can I help you ~ you are, in this state
on edge, no offense ~ but astrology
as biologic ~ genetic survey
resolves nothing but ~ more pain in the end
empty of value ~ open to debate
arguments aside ~ what have you to gain
remember the fun ~ you had as a kid
each G.O.A.T. has their pride ~ I was once insane
nerves burnt by the sun ~ once, the highest bid
ostracized, my gut ~ who would thee befriend
terror in a sense ~ accepts the abuse
initiate choice ~ voiceless as a child
nitwit that I am ~ always on the prowl
as for you, so tense ~ and blindly abstruse
solve the problem, not ~ the solution, cast
each stone, to rejoice ~ in the sea, for wild
noises in a clam ~ upsets with a growl
sufficient to cause ~ alarm without calm
empirical dot ~ explodes with a blast
nothing to do now ~ but to start again
only if you fuss ~ we leave you alone
or the sacred cow ~ tipped with stylus pen
nervous on the bus ~ watches as a drone
empties without pause ~ chambers full of charm
Tuesday, November 26, 2024
Devil's Highway ~ Tuesday, November 26, 2024
On Route Six Hundred Sixty-six, we stopped
not for kicks but for the Devil to piss
Righteousness from the Conservative Right
oh, the elections were, for sure, twice robbed
until the Resistance rises again
the Sycophantic syphilitic bliss
envelopes Melania with stage fright
Suck the cock of Donald Trump bitches, spit
into a spittoon, the humdrum cum, Ken
xenophilia loves not the white dick
Hung well like an elephant not a horse
until President Blunt becomes a prick
nobody forgets plans for war, of course
despite the Devil in office, to shit
responsibly, irresponsibly fast
everywhere in the Oval Office, nice
dice up his children, not worth a fat fuck
Salvage the truth, priest, from a pederast
invoke the god of irony, bugger
xenophobic strangers, their fear of rice
turmeric, ginger, garlic, cumin pluck
yellow pit viper ready for the war
save for signs of "Jesus Saves", witness graves
in a heartbeat, President Blunt smokes Gore
xiphoid process broken, how God behaves
welcome another bloody tree hugger
every time we vote for civil war, start
stopwatches at zero, the hero falls
the hero dies, President Blunt smokes weed
order a barrel or a bushel, smart
plucky interns keep the besotted fools
pranked until the Electorate recalls
election results, political greed
defers to President Blunt, talent pools
Saturday, November 23, 2024
Papal Avuncular Nepotism ~ Saturday, November 23, 2024
Van and Vincent never saw their uncle
as adults because he lived far away
nearly the distance their uncle would run
annually to train for marathons
not that he was good but dedicated
dedicated to his own mental health
Van and Vincent lived in California
in San Clemente where they had their home
never moving even once unlike dad
cultivating a sense of place for kids
especially Vincent, on the spectrum
not unlike his uncle, Papa Kitty
the man without a name, anonymous
never lasts a long time, until at least
eternity and uncertainty ends
versions of a contradiction appear
entangled in spooky action, karma
recalls the underlying dharma found
structurally as the building blocks seen
at the beginning of the universe
work in Chicago, never worth his time
travel, too expensive to go visit
home, a pier in Huntington Beach, his mom
eventually acted before her death
in the guise of a Roman Catholic
remembering the Lamb of God forgives
until the sword of the resurrection
needlessly lopped off her head at the neck
consequences for actions not results
leave Papa Kitty sad without family
each year, the holidays leave him hollow
as adults because he lived far away
nearly the distance their uncle would run
annually to train for marathons
not that he was good but dedicated
dedicated to his own mental health
Van and Vincent lived in California
in San Clemente where they had their home
never moving even once unlike dad
cultivating a sense of place for kids
especially Vincent, on the spectrum
not unlike his uncle, Papa Kitty
the man without a name, anonymous
never lasts a long time, until at least
eternity and uncertainty ends
versions of a contradiction appear
entangled in spooky action, karma
recalls the underlying dharma found
structurally as the building blocks seen
at the beginning of the universe
work in Chicago, never worth his time
travel, too expensive to go visit
home, a pier in Huntington Beach, his mom
eventually acted before her death
in the guise of a Roman Catholic
remembering the Lamb of God forgives
until the sword of the resurrection
needlessly lopped off her head at the neck
consequences for actions not results
leave Papa Kitty sad without family
each year, the holidays leave him hollow
Friday, November 22, 2024
καθαρός ~ Friday, November 22, 2024
When we look at this, what we see is death
however, death is not what we perceive
embedded in a coffin in the ground
never do we see their face, their last breath
windows to the afterlife closed, stitched shut
elapsed memories to compare deceive
linguistic mirrors make judgments unsound
overt attempts to tie images down
ordered into a sequence, in the gut
kinds of difference, otherness, we receive
ancient associations, we reject
traumatic visions of the real, conceive
terror as what is beyond, to inject
horror as quotidian, blame the clown
inspector of the mundane world, for laughs
shrunken humans appear headless, no crowns
wickedly grotesque, ugly, without sense
how phantom spirits stride, tall as giraffes
at the zoo, on safari, in a bus
tranquil the sunken face of death, she drowns
water so shallow, she fell off the fence
enveloped in alcohol, she seems drunk
such behavior is not worth all the fuss
enter judgment, the clown's playground, her corpse
entirely ineffectual, dead
in the passage of time, a light beam warps
similar to wooden beams, welcome dread
diminished fifths, the tritone bends the trunk
each to their own, bodies both young and old
accept without argument, without words
triumph of the well-wishers, little birds
holed up in a bush, sparrows, lives unsold
however, death is not what we perceive
embedded in a coffin in the ground
never do we see their face, their last breath
windows to the afterlife closed, stitched shut
elapsed memories to compare deceive
linguistic mirrors make judgments unsound
overt attempts to tie images down
ordered into a sequence, in the gut
kinds of difference, otherness, we receive
ancient associations, we reject
traumatic visions of the real, conceive
terror as what is beyond, to inject
horror as quotidian, blame the clown
inspector of the mundane world, for laughs
shrunken humans appear headless, no crowns
wickedly grotesque, ugly, without sense
how phantom spirits stride, tall as giraffes
at the zoo, on safari, in a bus
tranquil the sunken face of death, she drowns
water so shallow, she fell off the fence
enveloped in alcohol, she seems drunk
such behavior is not worth all the fuss
enter judgment, the clown's playground, her corpse
entirely ineffectual, dead
in the passage of time, a light beam warps
similar to wooden beams, welcome dread
diminished fifths, the tritone bends the trunk
each to their own, bodies both young and old
accept without argument, without words
triumph of the well-wishers, little birds
holed up in a bush, sparrows, lives unsold
Wednesday, November 20, 2024
The Grief Process ~ Wednesday, November 20, 2024
The cousin of my girlfriend passed away
having a hard time with my emotions
experiences do not process grief
call my friends, so far away, just to say
out of the blue, by the way, I love you
ugly tears cannot fall in the oceans
learn nothing, move on, no sense of relief
deal with my feelings by writing these words
out of nowhere, wait for the other shoe
for everyone poops and everyone dies
maybe uncertainty and the unknown
yell at me, just to say, everyone cries
given the fear of death, may I postpone
insipid interest in the fallen birds
resting broken beneath giant windows
lifeless and dull, lives lost in a moment
for all the little birds in migration
restlessly traveling, pain comes and goes
in waves, at first acute, then a dull throb
endlessly, as a metaphor, unbent
needles dig through to bone, the sensation
diminished fifths, augmented fourths, tritones
passion decreases, this life makes me sob
as people come and go, whence to and fro
such questions remain unanswered, I ask
simply to wait for time to pass, to blow
eternally, as this dream wears a mask
detached from emotions, as from my bones
aging gracefully, a façade of cool
wake up before the death of my girlfriend
arrive at work late, I cannot pretend
yesterday, at church, I prayed, still a fool
having a hard time with my emotions
experiences do not process grief
call my friends, so far away, just to say
out of the blue, by the way, I love you
ugly tears cannot fall in the oceans
learn nothing, move on, no sense of relief
deal with my feelings by writing these words
out of nowhere, wait for the other shoe
for everyone poops and everyone dies
maybe uncertainty and the unknown
yell at me, just to say, everyone cries
given the fear of death, may I postpone
insipid interest in the fallen birds
resting broken beneath giant windows
lifeless and dull, lives lost in a moment
for all the little birds in migration
restlessly traveling, pain comes and goes
in waves, at first acute, then a dull throb
endlessly, as a metaphor, unbent
needles dig through to bone, the sensation
diminished fifths, augmented fourths, tritones
passion decreases, this life makes me sob
as people come and go, whence to and fro
such questions remain unanswered, I ask
simply to wait for time to pass, to blow
eternally, as this dream wears a mask
detached from emotions, as from my bones
aging gracefully, a façade of cool
wake up before the death of my girlfriend
arrive at work late, I cannot pretend
yesterday, at church, I prayed, still a fool
Saturday, November 16, 2024
Bullseye ~ Saturday, November 16, 2024
All my fault, allegedly, from the start
leave it alone, let go and move forward
linger not in the past, memories last
morally bankrupt, friendship is an art
yet, because I could not save you from death
face the future alone, I turn shoreward
alone without family or friends, the past
undermines the present, a gift, this rift
lines the length of the fault, with your last breath
time stops, I must move on, I gotta go
allegedly, it is all my fault, dear
leave no stone unturned, they say, do they know
little understood matters as your fear
envelopes the universe as I sift
gently through memories as time stood still
emigrate to foreign lands, wish I could
decidedly, it is not the passport
liberty carries no baggage, ill-will
yellow as an egg yolk, scrambles my brain
forget the incident, live as I should
remember all the cocaine we would snort
otherwise focus on work and money
make a living, stay healthy, catch the train
try to put the past into perspective
haunted by a phantom, a ghost, your loss
exerted pressure, I'm no detective
slide down the slippery slope, lose the toss
try to see the context shift as honey
articulates a will, hate and money
reincarnation is a dream, as a dart
that flies toward the board, milk and honey
leave it alone, let go and move forward
linger not in the past, memories last
morally bankrupt, friendship is an art
yet, because I could not save you from death
face the future alone, I turn shoreward
alone without family or friends, the past
undermines the present, a gift, this rift
lines the length of the fault, with your last breath
time stops, I must move on, I gotta go
allegedly, it is all my fault, dear
leave no stone unturned, they say, do they know
little understood matters as your fear
envelopes the universe as I sift
gently through memories as time stood still
emigrate to foreign lands, wish I could
decidedly, it is not the passport
liberty carries no baggage, ill-will
yellow as an egg yolk, scrambles my brain
forget the incident, live as I should
remember all the cocaine we would snort
otherwise focus on work and money
make a living, stay healthy, catch the train
try to put the past into perspective
haunted by a phantom, a ghost, your loss
exerted pressure, I'm no detective
slide down the slippery slope, lose the toss
try to see the context shift as honey
articulates a will, hate and money
reincarnation is a dream, as a dart
that flies toward the board, milk and honey
Friday, November 15, 2024
Blackstone Diamond Cutter ~ Friday, November 15
What was I thinking when I said, "I do"?
heaven knows I should have become someone
addicted to heroin in a band
this did not happen, as the other shoe
waiting for it to drop, took a lifetime
ask me what I did in the meantime, son
sucker, I watched and counted grains of sand
I resurrected the dead-end jobs shift
to think I wasted my best years, my prime
how did I not see there was so much more
if I took a look around I would see
not only the forest but the seashore
kindness was nowhere to be found, a tree
in the forest fell, no one saw me drift
not simply downstream but to the ocean
grind the children in a spice mill, they say
work them to death, freedom is just a word
how I remember too much emotion
everyone else saw me as just intense
not that anyone else stood in my way
I could have been anyone when this bird
simply whispered in my ear, "I love you"
ask yourself what would you do, on the fence
in another state of mind, run like hell
did I blink, it melted with my mistakes
I do not want to hear it toll, the bell
despite lessons learned in life, that's the breaks
order a round of shots, the other shoe
heaven knows I should have become someone
addicted to heroin in a band
this did not happen, as the other shoe
waiting for it to drop, took a lifetime
ask me what I did in the meantime, son
sucker, I watched and counted grains of sand
I resurrected the dead-end jobs shift
to think I wasted my best years, my prime
how did I not see there was so much more
if I took a look around I would see
not only the forest but the seashore
kindness was nowhere to be found, a tree
in the forest fell, no one saw me drift
not simply downstream but to the ocean
grind the children in a spice mill, they say
work them to death, freedom is just a word
how I remember too much emotion
everyone else saw me as just intense
not that anyone else stood in my way
I could have been anyone when this bird
simply whispered in my ear, "I love you"
ask yourself what would you do, on the fence
in another state of mind, run like hell
did I blink, it melted with my mistakes
I do not want to hear it toll, the bell
despite lessons learned in life, that's the breaks
order a round of shots, the other shoe
Wednesday, November 13, 2024
Turn the Other Cheek ~ Wednesday, November 13, 2024
In a world of people with no regrets
no sense of repentance, or contrition
actions without consequences, no ends
without the means, as to ask, are all bets
off, is the world so unpredictable
revolve in orbits full of ambition
leave no stone unturned, watch how a rule bends
decisions make the law just or unjust
offenses where thought is indictable
forgive the harm before the damage done
pardon and absolve the ignorant sheep
emerge from silence as if to atone
once compensation pays for deepfake sleep
pass over to ignore the lack of trust
lack of upper crust, cucumber sandwich
elegant yet eccentric tea party
windows to empty chambers, shutters closed
if to hide the truth in an on/off switch
torture the children once behind closed doors
hover in wait to attack as sortie
needless extras around the set are poised
objectively as mannequin fodder
remain for the rest of time on all fours
erect a monument, an obelisk
grant a license for a poet to die
remember a duel is not without risk
engage in a sequence with the same lie
trade fame for immortality, dodder
slowly then fall, no regrets for egrets
no sense of repentance, or contrition
actions without consequences, no ends
without the means, as to ask, are all bets
off, is the world so unpredictable
revolve in orbits full of ambition
leave no stone unturned, watch how a rule bends
decisions make the law just or unjust
offenses where thought is indictable
forgive the harm before the damage done
pardon and absolve the ignorant sheep
emerge from silence as if to atone
once compensation pays for deepfake sleep
pass over to ignore the lack of trust
lack of upper crust, cucumber sandwich
elegant yet eccentric tea party
windows to empty chambers, shutters closed
if to hide the truth in an on/off switch
torture the children once behind closed doors
hover in wait to attack as sortie
needless extras around the set are poised
objectively as mannequin fodder
remain for the rest of time on all fours
erect a monument, an obelisk
grant a license for a poet to die
remember a duel is not without risk
engage in a sequence with the same lie
trade fame for immortality, dodder
slowly then fall, no regrets for egrets
Monday, November 11, 2024
Honoré ~ Monday, November 11, 2024
Got you by the proverbial Balzac
one or two, just checking, maybe you cough
turn your head, and don't get all hard and stiff
yellow-belly pacifist, don't fall back
or drop off basic training in retreat
underneath the tank treads, I hear you scoff
belligerent protester, off a cliff
you jump to save a pride from certain death
trouble is...you're still asleep on your feet
how you snore, felling trees with a hand saw
entertain me with your rhythm section
pretend you're awake, see the lion's paw
reach in and dig out your guts, defection
only promises the brig, your last breath
vicious kittens eat your entrails, you sail
endlessly on-board the Arctic Sunrise
rotation on the horizon, you frame
brilliance within a zen koan, your tail
instinctively twitches with REM
as sleep makes you realize all the lies
littered in the ocean, red zones of shame
But what debris do you see still asleep
ask me if I have read Stanisław Lem
leave me out of your business, Solaris
zippo to learn, light up another blunt
another eyes closed shut while we French kiss
cuddle afterbirth after sex, dull grunt
old carnivore, standing by, the good sheep
nervously awaiting their turn, the blade
edges each neck, cutthroat, Damascus grade
one or two, just checking, maybe you cough
turn your head, and don't get all hard and stiff
yellow-belly pacifist, don't fall back
or drop off basic training in retreat
underneath the tank treads, I hear you scoff
belligerent protester, off a cliff
you jump to save a pride from certain death
trouble is...you're still asleep on your feet
how you snore, felling trees with a hand saw
entertain me with your rhythm section
pretend you're awake, see the lion's paw
reach in and dig out your guts, defection
only promises the brig, your last breath
vicious kittens eat your entrails, you sail
endlessly on-board the Arctic Sunrise
rotation on the horizon, you frame
brilliance within a zen koan, your tail
instinctively twitches with REM
as sleep makes you realize all the lies
littered in the ocean, red zones of shame
But what debris do you see still asleep
ask me if I have read Stanisław Lem
leave me out of your business, Solaris
zippo to learn, light up another blunt
another eyes closed shut while we French kiss
cuddle afterbirth after sex, dull grunt
old carnivore, standing by, the good sheep
nervously awaiting their turn, the blade
edges each neck, cutthroat, Damascus grade
Śūnyatā ~ Monday, November 11, 2024
Rui Carlos da Cunha as a name
undermines sense, what we know of as time
in an instant, work done for eggs to break
Collect your things, too crazy for our game
as a consequence, you now have no home
resort to meetings, as it is your dime
lost down the slot to make a call, a freak
of nature to madness, we cast you out
such love is family, I burn this dome
dimensions of climate heat up the air
as a sādhu, my revenge is your joy
Consequences of torture are unfair
underneath the veneer, as your boy toy
needless harm to a child was done, I pout
harness the sun, my chariot bakes shame
as forgiveness to understanding lost
answer this question, for what was my crime
such an inconsiderate brat to blame
anger bottled up as pure rage, a child
no one will ever know, thrown away, tossed
across the room like cloths covered in grime
murdered my soul, a three-year old, brother
ecclesiastical hate crime, the wild
ugly, underbelly of alcohol
noteworthy for nothing, fame rule, I choose
decisive action, at your beck and call
endless maneuvers to take not to lose
recollection, a monster, the other
murder my soul, brother, for millions earned
insatiable ignorance feeds on wealth
necessary to institute power
egotistical maniac, you learned
skills to broker abuse as a lifestyle
senselessly demonic, as mental health
eats the bonds of family, ivory tower
necessary refuge to find logic
skilled in argument to refute denial
enable the alcoholic to harm
welcome to neglect behind closed doors, see
how the bruises never show, the alarm
admonishes ill-will as purpose, free
the soul family murders, top hat magic
wand in hand, tap, tap, tap, pull the rabbit
egomaniacal brother, you win
kiss me goodbye, I lose, as I become
nothingness incarnate, out of habit
old eggshells, childhood fears, I stomp to crush
worthless as an adult, venial sin
obliges me to speak, the zero-sum
forgiveness in your embrace, my karma
ask me not to pity the helpless thrush
suffers the little bird with broken neck
transparent windows kill us all, we fall
in an instant, game over, what the heck
murder my soul, impermanence, recall
emptiness, I die, this is my dharma
undermines sense, what we know of as time
in an instant, work done for eggs to break
Collect your things, too crazy for our game
as a consequence, you now have no home
resort to meetings, as it is your dime
lost down the slot to make a call, a freak
of nature to madness, we cast you out
such love is family, I burn this dome
dimensions of climate heat up the air
as a sādhu, my revenge is your joy
Consequences of torture are unfair
underneath the veneer, as your boy toy
needless harm to a child was done, I pout
harness the sun, my chariot bakes shame
as forgiveness to understanding lost
answer this question, for what was my crime
such an inconsiderate brat to blame
anger bottled up as pure rage, a child
no one will ever know, thrown away, tossed
across the room like cloths covered in grime
murdered my soul, a three-year old, brother
ecclesiastical hate crime, the wild
ugly, underbelly of alcohol
noteworthy for nothing, fame rule, I choose
decisive action, at your beck and call
endless maneuvers to take not to lose
recollection, a monster, the other
murder my soul, brother, for millions earned
insatiable ignorance feeds on wealth
necessary to institute power
egotistical maniac, you learned
skills to broker abuse as a lifestyle
senselessly demonic, as mental health
eats the bonds of family, ivory tower
necessary refuge to find logic
skilled in argument to refute denial
enable the alcoholic to harm
welcome to neglect behind closed doors, see
how the bruises never show, the alarm
admonishes ill-will as purpose, free
the soul family murders, top hat magic
wand in hand, tap, tap, tap, pull the rabbit
egomaniacal brother, you win
kiss me goodbye, I lose, as I become
nothingness incarnate, out of habit
old eggshells, childhood fears, I stomp to crush
worthless as an adult, venial sin
obliges me to speak, the zero-sum
forgiveness in your embrace, my karma
ask me not to pity the helpless thrush
suffers the little bird with broken neck
transparent windows kill us all, we fall
in an instant, game over, what the heck
murder my soul, impermanence, recall
emptiness, I die, this is my dharma
Sunday, November 10, 2024
Futebol ~ Sunday, November 10, 2024
Papa Kitty waits for God in his bar
as if to him the burning bush would speak
perhaps he feels as if he were special
as if a hundred dollars would go far
Killing time with fútbol on the TV
if penalty kicks matter to the weak
transparent losers as they arm wrestle
their way to the championship, P. K.
yells himself hoarse with polyps doctors see
while his pipe dream came true, he never left
attendance of the bar to anyone
if God could intervene, perhaps a theft
tragic as that sounds, he wants to have fun
see the world with travel to Han Cathay
forgive to forget, he wants to move on
ordeals and struggles makes him desire more
rolling on the floor laughing like a dog
God couldn't be bothered to care less, son
on the move with a whirlwind tour, to sell
dishes in Han Cathay, as if to score
instinctively, a deal for some peat bog
needles under his fingernails, torture
how Papa Kitty accepts how he fell
if grace matters to religious players
sellouts for commercial advertisements
bailed out of jail by his thoughtful lawyers
as if he were a kid, their chastisements
result in zero punishments, for sure
as if to him the burning bush would speak
perhaps he feels as if he were special
as if a hundred dollars would go far
Killing time with fútbol on the TV
if penalty kicks matter to the weak
transparent losers as they arm wrestle
their way to the championship, P. K.
yells himself hoarse with polyps doctors see
while his pipe dream came true, he never left
attendance of the bar to anyone
if God could intervene, perhaps a theft
tragic as that sounds, he wants to have fun
see the world with travel to Han Cathay
forgive to forget, he wants to move on
ordeals and struggles makes him desire more
rolling on the floor laughing like a dog
God couldn't be bothered to care less, son
on the move with a whirlwind tour, to sell
dishes in Han Cathay, as if to score
instinctively, a deal for some peat bog
needles under his fingernails, torture
how Papa Kitty accepts how he fell
if grace matters to religious players
sellouts for commercial advertisements
bailed out of jail by his thoughtful lawyers
as if he were a kid, their chastisements
result in zero punishments, for sure
Saturday, November 2, 2024
As a Lark for Larkin ~ Saturday, November 2, 2024
I was killing time inside a bookstore
waiting for the Nepalese restaurant
across the street to open up again
starving, the hyperbole of a bore
killing himself slowly for many years
if long distance running is but a jaunt
literally, down the road without the yen
lifting me up, a butterfly in flight
injury added to insult, the tears
needlessly fall as a necessity
grit, determination, perseverance
trauma and distress melt out of pity
insults from childhood bounce as if I dance
morbid with sorrow for decades, the bright
-
enlightenment in my twenties switched on
initiate instruction to recall
near amnesia by others of harm done
slide down the chute, recovery to spawn
integrity tactics to overcome
depression as a clinical downfall
enigmatic and eccentric, how fun
artistically autistic, I was dumb
burdened by my punishment to behave
over two decades, the torture game set
obliged never to complain of the past
killing time enables me to forget
search my conscience to forgive, shadows cast
triumphantly moving over my grave
objections aside my death cannot last
resolve quarrels with squirrels and press save
ephemeral the clouds always move so fast
waiting for the Nepalese restaurant
across the street to open up again
starving, the hyperbole of a bore
killing himself slowly for many years
if long distance running is but a jaunt
literally, down the road without the yen
lifting me up, a butterfly in flight
injury added to insult, the tears
needlessly fall as a necessity
grit, determination, perseverance
trauma and distress melt out of pity
insults from childhood bounce as if I dance
morbid with sorrow for decades, the bright
-
enlightenment in my twenties switched on
initiate instruction to recall
near amnesia by others of harm done
slide down the chute, recovery to spawn
integrity tactics to overcome
depression as a clinical downfall
enigmatic and eccentric, how fun
artistically autistic, I was dumb
burdened by my punishment to behave
over two decades, the torture game set
obliged never to complain of the past
killing time enables me to forget
search my conscience to forgive, shadows cast
triumphantly moving over my grave
objections aside my death cannot last
resolve quarrels with squirrels and press save
ephemeral the clouds always move so fast
Friday, November 1, 2024
Gjǫrth ~ Friday, November 1, 2024
Little did he know with his girth in place
indeed, the wrong place, in fact, the wrong hole
that he could not tell made all the difference
that he lacked, truly, the wherewithal, Grace
left him well alone to do his business
even though Bull pulled out, my name is Cole
divine Grace, my mom, by an inference
indeed, let a man bugger from behind
diminished, he filled her up with stiffness
how I came into the world, thrown and born
egoless, my soul, transient sojourn
kissed by divine Grace, my mom, without scorn
needed a baby, no husband, slow burn
owl full of wisdom, from a seed so blind
worthless to debate the value of life
while each soul is born to live for how long
in arrhythmia, syncopated beats
tell time as tempo, battles without strife
how Bull took the news, I never found out
how Bull up and died, convenient, his schlong
inside divine Grace, my mom, whom he cheats
sits inside a well, poisoned forever
given narrative as a form, I shout
in praise of Dark Hype and Hype Dark, Hyde Park
resides my Karmann Ghia nostalgia
transforms all theories conspiracies spark
how Bull ended up, sick with myalgia
investigators found nothing ever
nearly so fishy, smelling very strange
pretend no foul play, no harm done, he fell
link Project MKUltra to a well
argue against hate and war, acid dreams
cover up army dreamers with their screams
emigrate to Spain, the Dutch in orange
indeed, the wrong place, in fact, the wrong hole
that he could not tell made all the difference
that he lacked, truly, the wherewithal, Grace
left him well alone to do his business
even though Bull pulled out, my name is Cole
divine Grace, my mom, by an inference
indeed, let a man bugger from behind
diminished, he filled her up with stiffness
how I came into the world, thrown and born
egoless, my soul, transient sojourn
kissed by divine Grace, my mom, without scorn
needed a baby, no husband, slow burn
owl full of wisdom, from a seed so blind
worthless to debate the value of life
while each soul is born to live for how long
in arrhythmia, syncopated beats
tell time as tempo, battles without strife
how Bull took the news, I never found out
how Bull up and died, convenient, his schlong
inside divine Grace, my mom, whom he cheats
sits inside a well, poisoned forever
given narrative as a form, I shout
in praise of Dark Hype and Hype Dark, Hyde Park
resides my Karmann Ghia nostalgia
transforms all theories conspiracies spark
how Bull ended up, sick with myalgia
investigators found nothing ever
nearly so fishy, smelling very strange
pretend no foul play, no harm done, he fell
link Project MKUltra to a well
argue against hate and war, acid dreams
cover up army dreamers with their screams
emigrate to Spain, the Dutch in orange
Wednesday, October 30, 2024
Names Changed to Protect the Innocent ~ Wednesday, October 30, 2024
They had no idea as kids, Jeanne and Leigh
how could I blame children as an adult
even as grown up folks if we could talk
yet, emotions never fade but simmer
hate-filled racist taunts in the Seventies
asked everyone to forgive the harm done
did the perpetrators never forget
never seems immediately after
or never again to think of the past
ideas as right or wrong were meaningless
don't get me wrong, religion had its place
even if theory and practice were Church
and State, separated by amendment
as Constitution meets Philosophy
stated as primary as slavery
kissing cousins of American Law
if I never met Brinsley and Schwarzkopf
do you think their actions are all my fault
such as I was not an American
Just a boy born in Bombay long ago
even though never to be President
as if spelling well as a kid was bad
nobody in Cali was ever good
not me, certainly, full of past triggers
even though we just wanted to have fun
ask me if I care anymore after
nearly forty years with an axe to grind
drop that blade, wish I could burn the handle
Leave this world better than we received it
ever thrown into Chaos, the Abyss
if I could imagine being beyond
given situations I find myself
horrified by the past, try to let go
how could I blame children as an adult
even as grown up folks if we could talk
yet, emotions never fade but simmer
hate-filled racist taunts in the Seventies
asked everyone to forgive the harm done
did the perpetrators never forget
never seems immediately after
or never again to think of the past
ideas as right or wrong were meaningless
don't get me wrong, religion had its place
even if theory and practice were Church
and State, separated by amendment
as Constitution meets Philosophy
stated as primary as slavery
kissing cousins of American Law
if I never met Brinsley and Schwarzkopf
do you think their actions are all my fault
such as I was not an American
Just a boy born in Bombay long ago
even though never to be President
as if spelling well as a kid was bad
nobody in Cali was ever good
not me, certainly, full of past triggers
even though we just wanted to have fun
ask me if I care anymore after
nearly forty years with an axe to grind
drop that blade, wish I could burn the handle
Leave this world better than we received it
ever thrown into Chaos, the Abyss
if I could imagine being beyond
given situations I find myself
horrified by the past, try to let go
Sunday, October 27, 2024
A Boy in a Skirt ~ Sunday, October 27, 2024
Crying but what for the hidden treasure
rest mariposa for what a long flight
yellow daffodil your beautiful lies
inspire creation / destruction pleasure
never insane pain beyond all reason
generate sacred healing honor bright
burn pepper and salt crystal azure skies
urn full of ashes broken bones and dust
terrible heartbreak except such treason
warps clear perception from heels up the spine
hover in constant anguish in the brain
as for all the tears pickled within brine
twisted ankles turn the world with a sprain
forget what is known blown out in a gust
of hot air unfair attitude old man
resolve all problems within this molehill
trapped on a mountain within a crevasse
how to freeze to death give up on the plan
enter the beyond behind the curtains
hide all repression with crude oil to spill
inside the outside never an impasse
decisions unmade reversed tarot card
destabilize hay bales with hard bargains
exit the bedroom screaming as a child
nothing but laughter for much suffering
tease with sadistic pleasure brutal wild
resort to denial block out buffering
entitled to smile to say life is hard
advantageous brick thick and dense as dirt
sugar always sweet sours rotten teeth
usury the cake to eat as a wreath
revel in honey why hurt people hurt
eclipsed by the moon a boy in a skirt
rest mariposa for what a long flight
yellow daffodil your beautiful lies
inspire creation / destruction pleasure
never insane pain beyond all reason
generate sacred healing honor bright
burn pepper and salt crystal azure skies
urn full of ashes broken bones and dust
terrible heartbreak except such treason
warps clear perception from heels up the spine
hover in constant anguish in the brain
as for all the tears pickled within brine
twisted ankles turn the world with a sprain
forget what is known blown out in a gust
of hot air unfair attitude old man
resolve all problems within this molehill
trapped on a mountain within a crevasse
how to freeze to death give up on the plan
enter the beyond behind the curtains
hide all repression with crude oil to spill
inside the outside never an impasse
decisions unmade reversed tarot card
destabilize hay bales with hard bargains
exit the bedroom screaming as a child
nothing but laughter for much suffering
tease with sadistic pleasure brutal wild
resort to denial block out buffering
entitled to smile to say life is hard
advantageous brick thick and dense as dirt
sugar always sweet sours rotten teeth
usury the cake to eat as a wreath
revel in honey why hurt people hurt
eclipsed by the moon a boy in a skirt
Saturday, October 26, 2024
Unvote the So-called American Left ~ Saturday, October 26, 2024
The unwoke awake during their own wake
how dead to undead and unwoke to woke
enters the canon as fodder for birds
underneath it all in anger, I quake
not from past neglect that I overlook
welcome to the poor in Chicago, broke
obscene on public transportation, words
kill all sense of care as to judge concern
even if I could offer aide and cook
asparagus grilled with Greek olive oil
would it be worthwhile, even lucrative
as the bottom line decides how much toil
killing my dead soul for a decorative
elegant dinner; so much to discern
dinner costs aside, my pride is my bride
underneath it all I shake with fury
ride the CTA to view sleeping bears
if not the Red Line, the Blue Line we ride
not far from the wild creatures without homes
given the mayor's scruples, the jury
takes to their chamber to discuss wild hairs
how undone the slum of Chicago teams
each night with vagrants begging, holding combs
if I could afford to feed the homeless
right the wronged and write off the money pit
of the IRS and other boneless
wealthy jellyfish who don't give a shit
nothing appears quite as clear as it seems
woke becomes on fleek, a joke cannot last
a dictionary detects its rejects
kindness by the side of the road injects
each person with "HOPE", a placard long past
how dead to undead and unwoke to woke
enters the canon as fodder for birds
underneath it all in anger, I quake
not from past neglect that I overlook
welcome to the poor in Chicago, broke
obscene on public transportation, words
kill all sense of care as to judge concern
even if I could offer aide and cook
asparagus grilled with Greek olive oil
would it be worthwhile, even lucrative
as the bottom line decides how much toil
killing my dead soul for a decorative
elegant dinner; so much to discern
dinner costs aside, my pride is my bride
underneath it all I shake with fury
ride the CTA to view sleeping bears
if not the Red Line, the Blue Line we ride
not far from the wild creatures without homes
given the mayor's scruples, the jury
takes to their chamber to discuss wild hairs
how undone the slum of Chicago teams
each night with vagrants begging, holding combs
if I could afford to feed the homeless
right the wronged and write off the money pit
of the IRS and other boneless
wealthy jellyfish who don't give a shit
nothing appears quite as clear as it seems
woke becomes on fleek, a joke cannot last
a dictionary detects its rejects
kindness by the side of the road injects
each person with "HOPE", a placard long past
Tuesday, October 22, 2024
(Schlimazel) שלימזל ~ Tuesday, October 22, 2024
To have been better as a bed wetter
oil sheet warm then cold mother the queer smell
humble bumble bee free never to sting
ave Maria knit me a sweater
virtuous patience my wrath full of ire
ever since childhood broken as a bell
bitter jitterbug smite me with one swing
end this senseless search for birch sap syrup
ever neurotic erotic empire
nervous from the start first vomits fresh milk
buttermilk pancakes Brother Jake to give
etter suisse framboise to wear with a kilt
tickle me senseless with one life to live
tough motherfucker, a stainless steel cup
enjoy the boy toy flash buckle your belt
rejoice Brother Jake, King Charles we behead
ask never questions born of lust and cash
suck was a queer word Stephen feels a welt
as to enable a fabled schism
beast of least burden titans live undead
eternal struggle as under the lash
dark hype types hard bop cop a feel schlemiel
winter freezes balls bukkake jism
exit the rat race move on shoot your load
terror of torture sadistic brother
taunt kid brother bro nevermore to goad
epic recipe destroys the other
remember mother no game without spiel
oil sheet warm then cold mother the queer smell
humble bumble bee free never to sting
ave Maria knit me a sweater
virtuous patience my wrath full of ire
ever since childhood broken as a bell
bitter jitterbug smite me with one swing
end this senseless search for birch sap syrup
ever neurotic erotic empire
nervous from the start first vomits fresh milk
buttermilk pancakes Brother Jake to give
etter suisse framboise to wear with a kilt
tickle me senseless with one life to live
tough motherfucker, a stainless steel cup
enjoy the boy toy flash buckle your belt
rejoice Brother Jake, King Charles we behead
ask never questions born of lust and cash
suck was a queer word Stephen feels a welt
as to enable a fabled schism
beast of least burden titans live undead
eternal struggle as under the lash
dark hype types hard bop cop a feel schlemiel
winter freezes balls bukkake jism
exit the rat race move on shoot your load
terror of torture sadistic brother
taunt kid brother bro nevermore to goad
epic recipe destroys the other
remember mother no game without spiel
Monday, October 21, 2024
Blockage ~ Tuesday, March 22, 2022
[1]
Allegedly, I was three years old when we left London for Kew Gardens, Queens in New York City. Little did I know then my brother would succeed exactly as he should, older, colder, wiser. Despite our differences... I was a sensitive, little monster... mommy cared for us equally. Yet, I felt emptiness as we crossed the ocean.
I was unbearable to my family, a flaw.
Would that I could not be born like poor George Bailey, as an utter failure, victim of circumstance, savvy people saw through my innocent disguise.
Three years old, old enough to walk, talk, act stupid. However, as a child, I appeared without fault. Remember, I was small, cute and apparently without an ounce of guile. Even then, deception deceives the deceiver. Enter '72 without a clue, so blue.
Yesterday, I woke up and went running at dawn. Exactly, fifty years later I write about a time I can never recover from the past. Remember, I am three years old when it took place. Still, my first memory... I should really forget.
Old, old, old... getting old is never any fun. Let me be twenty-two, or even thirty-two. Diminished returns, this life not worth the investment.
When I went to visit Amanda, as a child, how full of emotion, I told her, "I love you." Even as a small boy, this was appropriate. Nope! My older brother thought otherwise and laughed.
While four years of difference is not a lot in age, exceptions to the rule must be made for sadists.
Leaving London, England was tragic in a sense. Even then, as a child, I thought myself, British for our passports said so, though this is in hindsight. To say I was British would be a huge mistake.
[2]
London? No, Middlesex. Near where my father worked. Only, I was too young to know much about it. Not that we ever saw much of our dad as kids. Despite loving our mom, he worked at the airport. Only, it was Party Central and our father not just came from Kenya, he came from Nairobi.
Forget the past, they say, move on with your own life. Only, the blockages, these stuck points get sticky. Remember, memories retain for a reason.
Kiss the girls, make them cry. I said my last goodbye. Enter American airspace as immigrants. Would I be anything otherwise in their eyes.
Grant me serenity but to whom do I speak, asking for charity, for kindness, for favors. Remember, I was born in Bombay, not London. Despite being a child, I was a foreigner. Even if I could speak and write Perfect English. No one saw me as theirs, as from their own homeland. Sucker to believe in the American Dream.
Question reality, study philosophy. Understanding nothing, but experiences. Enter contemplation, contemplate suicide. Every act has merits, reward this life with death. No, with no certainty... this is all that we know. Still, to end misery... it is a temptation.
If I were without flaws as a perfect diamond... no, I am a monster, never a good person.
New York City, a flash! We were gone in two years. Even if I had met Bobby Diggs, the RZA, would that make a difference, born a week after me.
Yet, I was neither Black, nor anyone Black kids on the outskirts of life cared anything about. Remember, South Asians are simply immigrants. Kill a Hindu, a Sikh, create a Hate Crimes Act.
Crippled in my own mind, broken, a fractured life. In the city, I saw from our sixth story view that people appear small, that balsa planes fly far. Yet, I started to learn... I was just a small man.
[3]
Lessons to learn in life, turn anger into gold. If I blame anyone that energy returns to haunt my days on earth, to follow my footsteps, to appear as spectres, as phantoms, or as ghosts. Little did I know then, as a child, how it works, everyone knows karma, everyone learns dharma.
Despite our age difference, my brother got along in spite of hating me as his little brother, despite his sadism, I learned some good lessons.
I learned never to trust, never to talk or feel.
Kismet divides my lot, this is my destiny. Nothing less than to write about the blockages. Obey the directions offered by our parents. Would that they realized defense mechanisms.
That was then, this is now. Fifty-three years of age, how do I shake it off, need I ask Taylor Swift? Every musician knows how difficult it is... not to succeed, but fail until they can succeed.
Music was my first love and so I played the drums, yet fate placed poetry before my eyes, I wept.
Beyond this world, I know nothing is for certain. Religion teaches us to believe, to have faith. Only, a skeptical, questioning mind sees past theological words as the chatter of birds. Hungry to understand, I understood limits. Even in calculus, we encounter limits. Religion, I gave up for Lent, as the joke goes.
Wine, women, and song but no, I was no sailor. Only a madman thought with his brain, not his dick. Under the tyranny of my own character, (let me preface this thought with the fact I shaped it), demented as I was to others, I was sure.
Satori was a flash, gradual and then gone. Under these conditions, I expected something. Calamity to want, to desire what is gone. Catastrophe happens, still I must restructure. Engage futility with misunderstanding. Enter into debates, thinking I know better. Despite knowing nothing, Socrates kept his cool.
[4]
Enter a foreign land, nowhere are we at home. Xenophobia saves natives from foreigners. America knows well to decimate natives. Caution signs on the shore should have pointed inwards. Tragically, genocide had not been coined, as yet. Let the indigenous peoples have their lands back. Yet, we cannot undo what has been done with guns.
Attempts to understand Manifest Destiny strike a chord of disgust at our pride and hubris.
History writes itself with the blood of others. Empty the pen of ink, fill it up with more blood.
Should I concern myself with words beyond my scope? How to practice my words, to preach my word is bond? Or hypocritical, just as everyone else? Under the tyranny of language, of life lived, limit experience until experiments decide how I should live out the rest of my life.
Older now, still a child striving to be a man. Little inside my mind, the blockages persist. Defense mechanisms get in the way of growth. Even to realize this fact, helps nobody. Realize potentials, actualize the truth.
Crabby as a Cancer but why identify, order constellations using my own metric, lift the veil, envision a universe beyond dimensions created by scientists in Rome, entertain other thoughts, other minds, other worlds, residing in the mind, the self is not the stars.
Wisdom is not beauty, this visceral domain, intelligence wastes time, energy, resources, struggles to keep up with our fierce competition, engages tug-of-war, to win or lose is all, recall failure / success are aspects of this game.
[5]
Diametrically in opposition across each radiant circle speaks dialectically specious arguments, spectacular mirrors presenting truth as such, as it appears in fact, in all good faith, the oak believes in the acorn, triumphs within itself simply by existing, existence seemingly the essence of being.
Organize, rearrange the constructs of this world, unequal in measure, to place recognition reasonably higher than imagination...
Does this make sense to me, society orders indifference to pleasure or pain, a secret gift from antiquity, fools, exactly like ourselves, finding out about life, guided by assumptions, experiments to learn about anatomy, research on cognition, processes of thinking, experience with gold, ethics and politics, natural science and the physical laws of creativity placed as a schema over each point in the system, the universe measured specifically to man.
I was a hateful child, I learned what I was taught.
Would that I had been taught how to love, not to judge. As simple as turning over within the mind, such as I do in bed asleep behind the wheel.
As a child, I would ask impossible questions.
Something inside my brain needed to know, "what if..." every time my brother was proximal to me. Not that he cared for me and my questions, annoyed, sick and tired of hearing thoughts out of deep, left field. If only I could be quiet for a moment. Though, I was a shy guy, a sincere introvert. If anyone wanted to shine it was Leo, very extroverted, outgoing and social, exact opposites, boys who bothered each other.
[6]
The Universe Is All My Fault ~ Monday, October 21, 2024
Trustworthy? No one, ever, not a soul!
remember my wife? My ex-wife? You know
until the moment she chose to do harm
still, I was not good, a lump of black coal
trust not the mirror of language for shame
wastes time on ego, on image, on glow
orbit persona to sound the alarm
reveal tit-for-tat gossip as karma
trained dog, housebroken, but not beyond blame
how stupid is love without children, dumb
yet, we were happy until we were not
Nobody offers fair warning, too numb
organically drunk, hormones tie the knot
obtain a divorce, move on, when dharma
notifies the wheel to turn, separate
each takes a deep breath to reflect on change
exit stage left, go, with the house on fire
visions of dark pitch, bituminous spate
eternally trapped in asphalt gravel
remember the dog in the street with mange
no, this hell is mine, made by my desire
orders of angels, what a fucking lie
tell me what to say when the court gavel
asks Bodhidharma if death travels west
suddenly, I watched paint dry on the wall
over nine long years, it became a test
until I awoke as if in free-fall
left with the writing, no more apple pie
remember my wife? My ex-wife? You know
until the moment she chose to do harm
still, I was not good, a lump of black coal
trust not the mirror of language for shame
wastes time on ego, on image, on glow
orbit persona to sound the alarm
reveal tit-for-tat gossip as karma
trained dog, housebroken, but not beyond blame
how stupid is love without children, dumb
yet, we were happy until we were not
Nobody offers fair warning, too numb
organically drunk, hormones tie the knot
obtain a divorce, move on, when dharma
notifies the wheel to turn, separate
each takes a deep breath to reflect on change
exit stage left, go, with the house on fire
visions of dark pitch, bituminous spate
eternally trapped in asphalt gravel
remember the dog in the street with mange
no, this hell is mine, made by my desire
orders of angels, what a fucking lie
tell me what to say when the court gavel
asks Bodhidharma if death travels west
suddenly, I watched paint dry on the wall
over nine long years, it became a test
until I awoke as if in free-fall
left with the writing, no more apple pie
Sunday, October 20, 2024
Unembraced ~ Sunday, October 20, 2024
For a second, she looks at me as if...
or am I deceived by the mama bear
really, I could be handsome in her eyes
as if I were a good person, a whiff
say of Z by Ermenegildo Zegna
even in my Lululemon, I fare
close to second in style, her husband cries
out to make way to their children in tow
not that I am not patient, Sardegna
does that name suit you, exotic beauty
sucker that I am for blue eyes, I pass
however confident in my duty
emblematic of one never so crass
licensed to chill, ice bucket wheel barrow
organic apples and ripe bananas
obtained at the grocery store, pity
kindness, an old man in need of a hug
see me, in my pocket, sixteen annas
as if I were ethical and honest
truly impossible in the city
maybe if I were just a lady bug
even a doctor or a lawyer, no
ambition to get ahead without rest
suffer the emptiness within sorrow
internal/external dichotomy
fraught with passion, beg, steal, even borrow
old man without a tracheotomy
reasonable to say you never know
or am I deceived by the mama bear
really, I could be handsome in her eyes
as if I were a good person, a whiff
say of Z by Ermenegildo Zegna
even in my Lululemon, I fare
close to second in style, her husband cries
out to make way to their children in tow
not that I am not patient, Sardegna
does that name suit you, exotic beauty
sucker that I am for blue eyes, I pass
however confident in my duty
emblematic of one never so crass
licensed to chill, ice bucket wheel barrow
organic apples and ripe bananas
obtained at the grocery store, pity
kindness, an old man in need of a hug
see me, in my pocket, sixteen annas
as if I were ethical and honest
truly impossible in the city
maybe if I were just a lady bug
even a doctor or a lawyer, no
ambition to get ahead without rest
suffer the emptiness within sorrow
internal/external dichotomy
fraught with passion, beg, steal, even borrow
old man without a tracheotomy
reasonable to say you never know
Saturday, October 19, 2024
A Mere Footnote in History ~ Saturday, October 19, 2024
Is it my fault that you are beautiful
still, it is not my place to fall in love
if you were ugly or maybe a dog
terrible as that sounds if you could pull
me into your orbit into your sphere
yet though I circle as if from above
friendship with a hawk leaves me in a bog
as if waiting for Seamus to come dig
until his pen runs out of ink unclear
luminosity within gravity
tumble into your influence and fall
tragically without a shred of pity
humbled by your impudence and your gall
as if I could elect another Whig
trouble is that I vote anarchist, right
yes, I am grotesque, don't look at me, please
only the hideous Clooney and Pitt
undertake to make me handsome despite
age, grey hair, wrinkles and weight to transform
rubies into diamonds but if I sneeze
everything goes to waste just so much shit
beggars belief, forgive me, please, your grace
exacts tribute as the ladybugs swarm
around my arrhythmia, cold, black stone
undertakers of love bury nonsense
titanic interruption on the phone
information angelic in defense
for or against the hoi polloi, the case
under review for lack of evidence
lack of common sense, lack of pounds and pence
still, it is not my place to fall in love
if you were ugly or maybe a dog
terrible as that sounds if you could pull
me into your orbit into your sphere
yet though I circle as if from above
friendship with a hawk leaves me in a bog
as if waiting for Seamus to come dig
until his pen runs out of ink unclear
luminosity within gravity
tumble into your influence and fall
tragically without a shred of pity
humbled by your impudence and your gall
as if I could elect another Whig
trouble is that I vote anarchist, right
yes, I am grotesque, don't look at me, please
only the hideous Clooney and Pitt
undertake to make me handsome despite
age, grey hair, wrinkles and weight to transform
rubies into diamonds but if I sneeze
everything goes to waste just so much shit
beggars belief, forgive me, please, your grace
exacts tribute as the ladybugs swarm
around my arrhythmia, cold, black stone
undertakers of love bury nonsense
titanic interruption on the phone
information angelic in defense
for or against the hoi polloi, the case
under review for lack of evidence
lack of common sense, lack of pounds and pence
Wednesday, October 16, 2024
Celebrate the Traces ~ Wednesday, October 16, 2024
As you know by now we used LSD
so as to escape our need to grow up
yes we were minors on a weekend trip
out of sorts as teens reading poetry
until crash landing with a defunct band
kiss the past goodbye we drink from the cup
no innocence lost dipped more than the tip
orbits awakened pupils dilated
we watched as traces past after the hand
but to hear Spirit talk philosophy
yet no one could see the unseen prophet
no one cared to eat cake but the coffee
only when sober at meetings befit
wonders never cease wishes belated
work or go to school college for last call
each day we undrank excesses of pain
until we split up went our separate ways
suck it through a straw stranded as to fall
excess leads wisdom to let go of hope
decidedly thoughts made us both insane
Liquidate the mind unknown through the haze
Success overlooks the fact we smoked dope
Diminished by time we found poverty
so as to escape our need to grow up
yes we were minors on a weekend trip
out of sorts as teens reading poetry
until crash landing with a defunct band
kiss the past goodbye we drink from the cup
no innocence lost dipped more than the tip
orbits awakened pupils dilated
we watched as traces past after the hand
but to hear Spirit talk philosophy
yet no one could see the unseen prophet
no one cared to eat cake but the coffee
only when sober at meetings befit
wonders never cease wishes belated
work or go to school college for last call
each day we undrank excesses of pain
until we split up went our separate ways
suck it through a straw stranded as to fall
excess leads wisdom to let go of hope
decidedly thoughts made us both insane
Liquidate the mind unknown through the haze
Success overlooks the fact we smoked dope
Diminished by time we found poverty
Wednesday, October 9, 2024
Human Resources: The Grimsby Report ~ Wednesday, October 9, 2024
The unsayable turns against the tide
how if I were blind to my own actions
each day, if I act the martyr to grief
unless I accept and therefore abide
not in sympathy, caught up in a role
sucker to succor, my own distractions
argue not to strengths but to seek relief
yellow zinnia, I lack all courage
as the unemployed drink beer on the dole
bile, irritable, angry, vexed at heart
lingers complacent, satisfied and smug
each day, I am blind to smell my own fart
turn against others, lash out, pull the rug
underneath us all, distress in storage
reside in trauma, cheetah in a cage
nocturnal raccoons free to sniff and roam
suffer the children as adults little
as the town crier whose opinions rage
grate the ears of maize in a cornfield maze
as if words could burn waves of white sea foam
if I am privileged, am I so brittle
not to withstand hate, I wander, a clue
stirs up the cauldron, the pot to amaze
traumatized infants, shaken, nothing stirs
the newscaster more, a son of the law
how daddy was hurt sounds as a gear whirs
each day, my body hurts under the claw
take a dumb, black cat, pouncer, no one knew
if elder statesmen, entitled and free
decide other's fate, to live in a shoe
each day, I pray that I'm not you, agree
how if I were blind to my own actions
each day, if I act the martyr to grief
unless I accept and therefore abide
not in sympathy, caught up in a role
sucker to succor, my own distractions
argue not to strengths but to seek relief
yellow zinnia, I lack all courage
as the unemployed drink beer on the dole
bile, irritable, angry, vexed at heart
lingers complacent, satisfied and smug
each day, I am blind to smell my own fart
turn against others, lash out, pull the rug
underneath us all, distress in storage
reside in trauma, cheetah in a cage
nocturnal raccoons free to sniff and roam
suffer the children as adults little
as the town crier whose opinions rage
grate the ears of maize in a cornfield maze
as if words could burn waves of white sea foam
if I am privileged, am I so brittle
not to withstand hate, I wander, a clue
stirs up the cauldron, the pot to amaze
traumatized infants, shaken, nothing stirs
the newscaster more, a son of the law
how daddy was hurt sounds as a gear whirs
each day, my body hurts under the claw
take a dumb, black cat, pouncer, no one knew
if elder statesmen, entitled and free
decide other's fate, to live in a shoe
each day, I pray that I'm not you, agree
Sunday, October 6, 2024
Red Line ~ Sunday, October 6, 2024
More than poverty, Gertie saw no hope
observe the people in order to help
reach out as you can to assist those lost
experience shows lives destroyed by dope
thanatos is change itself more than death
how we look away while mental health
advocates advise no matter the cost
not to directly intervene but ask
provided the harm done from years on meth
opens the back door to offer a hand
victims of hateful politics resist
every chance to change while each grain of sand
reveals orange peals makes trauma desist
trauma and distress both wear the black mask
yet, Gertie wants more as she has no fear
Gertie cooks dinner in a small kitchen
empty of workers other than herself
resolved to assist to make plainly clear
time returns each day to check in and see
if people accept the past as a den
engaged with vipers like books on a shelf
see what attracts you to make things better
avenues with false opportunity
wind the roads to catch you and yours off guard
nothing but the trees reach toward the sun
opportunity shifts as work is hard
hard as mining rocks for diamonds for fun
opportunity knocks in a sweater
poverty hopes pain without gain is done
empty promises success is hard-won
observe the people in order to help
reach out as you can to assist those lost
experience shows lives destroyed by dope
thanatos is change itself more than death
how we look away while mental health
advocates advise no matter the cost
not to directly intervene but ask
provided the harm done from years on meth
opens the back door to offer a hand
victims of hateful politics resist
every chance to change while each grain of sand
reveals orange peals makes trauma desist
trauma and distress both wear the black mask
yet, Gertie wants more as she has no fear
Gertie cooks dinner in a small kitchen
empty of workers other than herself
resolved to assist to make plainly clear
time returns each day to check in and see
if people accept the past as a den
engaged with vipers like books on a shelf
see what attracts you to make things better
avenues with false opportunity
wind the roads to catch you and yours off guard
nothing but the trees reach toward the sun
opportunity shifts as work is hard
hard as mining rocks for diamonds for fun
opportunity knocks in a sweater
poverty hopes pain without gain is done
empty promises success is hard-won
Saturday, October 5, 2024
La Mauvaise Foi ~ Saturday, October 5, 2024
This is the phenomenal world
here, everything changes
if you blink, it might disappear
so, fasten your seat belt
if you look around, this may be your life
still the camera may pan elsewhere
this world happens so fast
have it your way if you are bored
each moment flashes like a bulb
pretend you understand
however everyone knows you do not
everyone knows because nobody knows
no one understands why we are alive
or they pretend to know while they are blind
most people lose their way from this blindness
even with perfect vision they can't see
no one can read the signs, or the red flags
as for those in authority, they lie
lies are at the root of all the blindness
welcome to this, the phenomenal world
obey the rules or find yourself locked up
running changes everything, if you run
little else makes a difference, in the end
decide how to act, choose your course, and go!
here, everything changes
if you blink, it might disappear
so, fasten your seat belt
if you look around, this may be your life
still the camera may pan elsewhere
this world happens so fast
have it your way if you are bored
each moment flashes like a bulb
pretend you understand
however everyone knows you do not
everyone knows because nobody knows
no one understands why we are alive
or they pretend to know while they are blind
most people lose their way from this blindness
even with perfect vision they can't see
no one can read the signs, or the red flags
as for those in authority, they lie
lies are at the root of all the blindness
welcome to this, the phenomenal world
obey the rules or find yourself locked up
running changes everything, if you run
little else makes a difference, in the end
decide how to act, choose your course, and go!
Saturday, September 28, 2024
al-qubba (قُبَّةُ) ~ Saturday, September 28, 2024
When first I was born, I swallowed a book
holier than God left inside a vault
enter an alcove to meet your maker
nothing but a wisp of salty air, look
forgotten by dust, the ashes of bones
in an alcove, God weeps, in debt, whose fault
recovery sets the record, faker
straightens up the bills in the drawers, the cost
to house God inside a bank vault, the stones
I skip on water, Satan's daughter sleeps
within a fury, angry at her lot
as the black pepper in soup, while God weeps
storms in the ocean, beware of his snot
beware as he hocks a loogie, he lost
order, the blue pearl, spun out of control
revel in excess, corals pale a shade
near the atomic bikini atoll
I swallow the book as the decades fade
swarms of bees, my beard, memories, each strand
wash my eyes and face, Satan's daughter calls
as I seek refuge in darkness, so cold
light cannot reach me, as if to demand
liquid clarity filtered beyond pitch
objections aside, she stumbles and falls
words fail me, my bride, I laugh hard and bold
each day the birds curse epithets on race
difficult to say why the sparrows bitch
at passersby, click, the shutter closes
blasphemy to speak of God and the Book
only as the thorns cut my head, roses
olfactory bulb, a scent on a hook
kill me Judas-kind, rood without a trace
holier than God left inside a vault
enter an alcove to meet your maker
nothing but a wisp of salty air, look
forgotten by dust, the ashes of bones
in an alcove, God weeps, in debt, whose fault
recovery sets the record, faker
straightens up the bills in the drawers, the cost
to house God inside a bank vault, the stones
I skip on water, Satan's daughter sleeps
within a fury, angry at her lot
as the black pepper in soup, while God weeps
storms in the ocean, beware of his snot
beware as he hocks a loogie, he lost
order, the blue pearl, spun out of control
revel in excess, corals pale a shade
near the atomic bikini atoll
I swallow the book as the decades fade
swarms of bees, my beard, memories, each strand
wash my eyes and face, Satan's daughter calls
as I seek refuge in darkness, so cold
light cannot reach me, as if to demand
liquid clarity filtered beyond pitch
objections aside, she stumbles and falls
words fail me, my bride, I laugh hard and bold
each day the birds curse epithets on race
difficult to say why the sparrows bitch
at passersby, click, the shutter closes
blasphemy to speak of God and the Book
only as the thorns cut my head, roses
olfactory bulb, a scent on a hook
kill me Judas-kind, rood without a trace
Tuesday, September 24, 2024
Rape Blossoms ~ Tuesday, September 24, 2024
Rape Blossoms. Wait don't you mean, "love blossoms"
as you know with President Blund, rapeseed
predatory behavior presents
exhibit A as curled up opossums.
Blunders persist in politics, she says
laugh at the gaffe, she's not halfwrong, we bleed
over palm oil production, he resents
sinister insinuations of a plot
surreptitious cultivation, he plays
old boy object petit a from a lack
make America Blunder again, crack
sexist jokes on TV, it fills the slot
as you know with President Blund, rapeseed
predatory behavior presents
exhibit A as curled up opossums.
Blunders persist in politics, she says
laugh at the gaffe, she's not halfwrong, we bleed
over palm oil production, he resents
sinister insinuations of a plot
surreptitious cultivation, he plays
old boy object petit a from a lack
make America Blunder again, crack
sexist jokes on TV, it fills the slot
Wednesday, September 18, 2024
Forlorn for California ~ Wednesday, September 18, 2024
Sometimes, I wish I could turn back the clock
on a date we were together, not all
maybe four of us, the others elsewhere
everywhere and nowhere, before the shock
tumbling, stumbling, crumbling mumble bunny
in time, I would overcome my own fall
magically, as if I were meant to share
energy elliptic as gravity
sometimes, I wish I could tell how funny
I appear to others, to myself, blind
windows outwards face, mirrors inwards face
if I as body could envision mind
subtle objects in space, I accept grace
however lost within a cavity
I turn back the clock of memories lost
catch-as-catch-can, no-holds-barred, we hold hands
older than teenagers but now no more
until I uncover the total cost
let us just say no more are we at home
difficult as it was, we left our lands
the sea, the sand, the sun, the surf, the shore
until our reunion, thirty years hence
remember life under the big, blue dome
nothing but appearances, all those lies
badgered as an adult, how I look back
at our time together, the stormy skies
cool to watch lightning, at the beach, attack
kindness as a concept, dollars and cents
traffic circles, orbits in gravity
how a moment escapes our awareness
everyday I miss how we are all gone
cancer eats away at the cavity
leaves me lonesome for ages in stages
obliged to lick my wounds in all fairness
cancer is my politics, as a pawn
kiss my friends goodbye as the sea rages
on a date we were together, not all
maybe four of us, the others elsewhere
everywhere and nowhere, before the shock
tumbling, stumbling, crumbling mumble bunny
in time, I would overcome my own fall
magically, as if I were meant to share
energy elliptic as gravity
sometimes, I wish I could tell how funny
I appear to others, to myself, blind
windows outwards face, mirrors inwards face
if I as body could envision mind
subtle objects in space, I accept grace
however lost within a cavity
I turn back the clock of memories lost
catch-as-catch-can, no-holds-barred, we hold hands
older than teenagers but now no more
until I uncover the total cost
let us just say no more are we at home
difficult as it was, we left our lands
the sea, the sand, the sun, the surf, the shore
until our reunion, thirty years hence
remember life under the big, blue dome
nothing but appearances, all those lies
badgered as an adult, how I look back
at our time together, the stormy skies
cool to watch lightning, at the beach, attack
kindness as a concept, dollars and cents
traffic circles, orbits in gravity
how a moment escapes our awareness
everyday I miss how we are all gone
cancer eats away at the cavity
leaves me lonesome for ages in stages
obliged to lick my wounds in all fairness
cancer is my politics, as a pawn
kiss my friends goodbye as the sea rages
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)