sōtēria : σωτηρία ~ Tuesday, 31 December 2019

If you are not part of the solution... 

fasten your seatbelts to this commonplace, 

you trust this cliché like quotes from Gandhi, 

obviously you care about the truth, 

ugly as it sounds, the surface reflects, 

ask me if I care, I do...and I will 

risk anonymity in the city, 

everyone views Hollywood to portray...

no one knows me as I walk down the street, 

ordinary people accept these facts, 

the problems exist while we celebrate...

participate within society, 

ask questions, act as if you know nothing, 

represent your convictions for the world, 

take the best part of yourself to display, 

on the street, I pass by homeless people

for whom I know I can offer nothing, 

take a moment to argue in favor...

how can I help someone who cannot help 

even to deal with the smallest problems, 

suck it up, the solution is not mine, 

on the contrary say the lawmakers, 

legislators defend public interest, 

until personal interest overtakes 

their stake to make the world a better place, 

in their view, for the few, and not for all, 

only justice observes the law for all, 

no problem too small to go unobserved. 

Radiance ~ Sunday, 29 December 2019

At last, at last, as you enter the Zone, 

tired, or not, of the ancient world, elders 

leap at your verse, under forty, of course, 

as you enter the Zone, try to regard 

senile old men with a lack of respect, 

to dismiss sexist, bigoted monkeys, 

as you enter the Zone, sycophants play 

the fools, gushing over your verse, poems 

left for others to declare their value, 

as you enter the Zone, traipse carefully, 

still rotting corpses of older poets 

thrown aside for age, too old to be young, 

as you enter the Zone, disregard age, 

smouldering embers, crematoria, 

yes, the Holocaust offered us black milk, 

on condition we remember their loss, 

under the circumstances, we forgot, 

enter the Zone to remember their lives, 

no one remains after one hundred years, 

traipse carefully over the dead, your life, 

entirely your own to decide how words 

reflect the Final Solution, Shoah, 

the catastrophe, no need to deny, 

human neglect, we forget history, 

enter the Zone to remember their pain. 

Zōhar speaks of light and splendor, the Zone 

over the dead, ashes, wisps of lost souls, 

neglect to remember memories burned, 

enter the Zone to remember their love.

Economics ~ Sunday, 29 December 2019

Without any magic bullets 

in the cartridge of my weapon 

to solve problems with leverage, 

hold accountable the people 

overseeing projects for change, 

under management, maintenance, 

take advantage of their accounts, 

acting responsible for acts 

negligent through neglect of care, 

yet, nobody cares until time 

makes them act according to law, 

after the damage done, they act, 

given a choice, they do nothing, 

if people cannot make money, 

crime goes unchecked by the police, 

best to make it worth their interest, 

unless we slide down perdition, 

left to our own devices, care 

leaves most people without a stake, 

even the religious pretend 

their prayers will solve world poverty, 

systemic racism, hate crimes. 

Luminous ~ Saturday, 28 December 2019

Sickness I would not wish upon anyone, 

in health, I do not notice my wellbeing, 

carefree, I feel the right to enjoy my health, 

kiss the world goodbye, this anguish is rotten, 

needless suffering, necessarily hard, 

endure, the need, the desire to endure pain, 

sickness makes me lack strength, 

                                          weak as a small boy, 

stupid, without reason, the stars align, death. 

I do not want to die but I cannot live 

wandering the earth, searching for a potion, 

only there is no cure for life, this sickness 

understood lasts but a moment, 

                                                      just two days, 

left on my own, I figure out a way out, 

distinct in design, I find the labyrinth, 

no minotaur, no monsters, no hopelessness, 

on my island, the light shines brightly for all, 

the darkness as an uncovered metaphor 

winds its way around shadows, 

                                                brilliance so bright 

islands cannot hide an underground palace, 

simple yet convoluted, its design plan 

harbors a harbor within a hidden cave, 

underneath the sea, light refracts the surface, 

press down, 

            the pressure becomes atmospheric, 

only the light bends in water, the waves break 

noticeably strange above the hidden cave, 

awakening to the mythical structures 

normally unseen, invisible to mind, 

yet, forming the structure of the mind itself, 

once delivered of sickness, I encounter 

nothing but light, the speed, neither slow, 

                                                                  nor fast, 

everything appears still, quiet, full of light. 

The Pursuit of ~ Saturday, 28 December 2019

Billie buries our friends 

under the border wall, 

restless, in search of life, 

in search of liberty, 

exploited happiness, 

dreamers beyond frontiers. 

Fences make good neighbors, 

restless beyond borders, 

if we build good fences 

even dreams have no chance, 

no one bothers Billie, 

despite her digging graves. 

Billie swings the pick axe 

until the earth breaks clean, 

rugged features, her face, 

indentured servitude, 

endless days of digging, 

dust flies in the desert. 

Quatorzain ~ Saturday, 28 December 2019

Children abused under the eyes of God, 

how I searched Heaven for help without hope, 

if my parents wanted someone to hurt, 

leave it to God to bless them with two sons, 

different as sun and moon, 

                                          someone hurts less, 

restless little boys know no better, roll 

even, roll odd, the dice decide the man, 

nobody said my brother was favorite, 

although he ended up with dad's Rolex, 

but, then again, he was their first-born son, 

unless you love silver, second sucks, sure 

second represents on the podium, 

even third earns a medal worth keeping, 

despite bronze turning green 

                                                over the years [...] 

Active Energy Potential ~ Wednesday, 25 December 2019

As if to climb mountains in the real world,  

lift weights until I am the strongest man, 

life offers these ridiculous options, 

I want to live each day to the fullest, 

even sorrow has its heights of despair, 

venture to swim the Amazon River, 

ever present and aware of danger, 

rewards come from the act, from bravery, 

wishful thinking to push the envelope, 

as astronauts venture into deep space, 

nothing ventured, nothing gained, to achieve 

the goal of breaking world records, to run 

even faster than the next guy, to stand 

delighted and proud on the podium, 

lift the veil, to see beyond illusions, 

invent the wheel, the axle and the cart, 

venture into deep space, never return, 

even if it were possible to live 

like everyday were my last, the fullest 

in life, overflowing with joy and love, 

fullness beyond my imagination, 

even if it were possible to climb 

to the summit of every mountain, plant 

on top of every peak a field of blue, 

in each instance to recognize the needs 

that other people have and to offer 

service like no other, with compassion, 

frankly, I can't believe it's possible, 

under the circumstances, rise above, 

lift myself above the clouds of despair, 

lift the whole world in my hands 

                                          to new heights, 

even if it were possible, to make 

science solve the problems of world crises, 

to save humanity from climate change... 

~~~

Acrostic: All I ever wanted : live life to its fullest 

Magnum for the Big Cocks ~ Thursday, 19 December 2019

three fifty-seven blow your head clear off 

sex drugs cash guns money violence death 

food clothing shelter poor homeless children 

luxury homes cologne perfume travel 

designer bags gold jewelry private jets 

protests civil rights police riot gear 

lyrics music deejays turntables beats 

concerts festivals parties raves chill rooms 

murder rape assault battery prison 

drink snort shoot inhale 

     alcohol cocaine hashish heroin

          snort shoot exhale smoke 

homicide suicide recovery 

cars grills women legs photos magazines 

strip clubs lap dance disco balls private room 

detectives captains mayors politicians 

ice cream wedding cake honeymoon dessert 

lemonade soda pop soft drinks sugar 

climate change global warming impeachment 

What more you want? 

                                    Have a Coke and a smile!

Warszawa ~ Monday, 16 December 2019

Alpha after omega, once again. 

Cinders fall on the windowsill, 

ashes, ashes, we all fall down, 

rescind the offer to forget, 

ashes, ashes, we all fall down, 

fill the glass half full, the carafe 

empty of water, full of ash. 

That is not acceptable, no, 

houses on fire, city aflame, 

ashes, ashes, we all fall down, 

the ghetto is not to blame, no. 

Incendiary firemen 

shower the town with gasoline. 

Alpha after omega, once again. 

Blind, the British Prime Ministers, 

left to stick their heads in the sand, 

indelible response to war, 

never forget, their appeasement, 

distinguished as diplomacy. 

Glass half empty or glass half full, 

lifts the veil of dark memories, 

ashes, ashes, we all fall down, 

sifts through ashes to find nuggets, 

sifts through ashes to find gold teeth. 

~~~

Acrostic: "A Carafe, That Is A Blind Glass." by Gertrude Stein

Climactic ~ Monday, 16 December 2019

The big picture of context and perspective, 

historical vision, artistic sight, 

envelopes the visible universe. 

Forget the original growth forest, 

obviously, manifest destiny, 

railroads, airports, and interstate traffic 

erupts our temporal domain, our homes, 

synchronic and diachronic forces 

tears down the future for the fleeting past, 

forge centuries of industry, smokestacks, 

ore, coal, oil, revolution for the rich, 

remember the exploitation of poor 

transient workers of the world, no rights, 

human, civil, lopped off fingers and hands, 

enter the thresher up to the elbow. 

Tragic, our lack of compassion, senses 

ripped out from eye sockets, blinded, we see 

entirely by scent, dogs chase wild hares, 

egregious behavior by the machine, 

she cannot see the forest for the trees. 

Corrective Lenses ~ Friday, 13 December 2019

The funny thing about childhood is how arbitrary it is that your parents are your parents and not some one else's and you are not someone else's child. It's entirely random, by chance, the drawing of lots, a spin of the roulette wheel, call it what you like. It's completely hilarious when viewed through the right prism. 

Amiable ~ Friday, 13 December 2019

Friends are few and far, far away, 

reasonably far for a thug 

in Chicago, who needs a friend, 

end up ashes or in a grave, 

nowhere near anyone you know, 

down deep in the ocean, sunken 

so deep no light hits the bottom, 

arguably, I had friends once, 

ran them all away, far away, 

endless conversations with birds, 

finches and sparrows in a bush, 

endless arguments, their chatter 

worth the little time I have left, 

asinine to think, I had friends, 

nobody knows how much I like 

donkeys braying atop a hill, 

forget the past, forget Cali 

and Memphis, here in Chicago, 

really only one friend who left, 

for sure my girlfriend spends some time 

asking me to go out, do things, 

rest assured, I love her to death, 

always and forever, they say, 

when solitude hits, you're alone, 

all by yourself, the pendulum, 

you watch, swings back and forth, 

                                          click, click. 

Commercial Success ~ Thursday, 12 December 2019

Mo' fo' American haters, critics 

online, ain't got no game to criticize. 

Bored beyond belief, belligerent boys, 

online anonymity change the game, 

reality ain't real, it's virtual, 

everybody know who ain't got no game, 

damned if it be me, I chase game all year. 

People see what they are not, they don't like 

even thumbs up icons, they want "dislike"

like they want to hate anonymously 

online, they no show face, no represent, 

to fat mo' fo' more bored than God, give them 

online stupidity, online no game, 

no one needs their bullshit, not Peloton. 

Jesus wept. ~ Wednesday, 11 December 2019

Jesus wept. (Greek: ἐδάκρυσεν ὁ Ἰησοῦς) -- John 11:35 (NIV)

~~~

I wake up from a dream where in the dream I run into a deceased friend to whom I say, "I feel like a broken person inside," and start crying within the dream but not in the real world as I wake up, sad but not full of tears. 

Am I crying because I see a deceased friend for the first time since her passing? Am I crying because I feel broken inside? Or is it that I am crying, sobbing in fact, for some unknown reason, or both reasons listed above? 

Why am I crying in the dream but not in the real world? If I die in a dream will I not die in the real world at the same time? 

What is the meaning of the dream? Am I trying to resolve a problem or feel something I cannot feel in consciousness, or while awake? 

Wisdom ~ Monday, 9 December 2019

To Ciaran Gerard Carson, d. 6 October 2019. Requiescat in pace.

~~~

To the Albatross, so many poets 

over the years admire your strange beauty, 

to say you are beautiful, imperfect, 

however much like human behavior, 

elicits a response as a symbol. 

Agent of flight, lofty heights, you follow 

leagues of sailors on voyage to distant 

barbaric lands, where language is not Greek, 

and not common to the nautical kind, 

to be honest, I have never met you, 

reliably, neither have the others, 

only we mimic the idea of flight, 

symbol of long journeys, epic poems, 

still, a figment of imagination. 

Crepuscular Rays ~ Monday, 9 December 2019

"When you are old and grey and full of sleep,"

~ W. B. Yeats 

When hope diminishes, day turns to dusk, 

how spring stirs emotions winter covers, 

enveloped in a thick blanket of snow 

no one wants to shovel, the hardened ice, 

you know when you can't touch your toes, 

   your back 

only bends down so far, the pain intense, 

under the care of a kind physician 

a prescription for a year of yoga, 

recommended over the painkillers 

everyone else seems to think does the trick, 

old age bites your ass even at forty, 

losing your perfect vision for cheaters, 

dopey-looking reading glasses that change 

adulthood from headaches a bookseller 

never has while reading to accepting 

difficulty in the fact the dishes 

grate on your ears as sounds become 

      too loud, 

remember your lost youth, Hollywood clubs, 

empty and grey as old film noir movies 

you now watch capture your fascination, 

attention to the words younger folk speak, 

no excuses that you've lost your hearing, 

diminished, yes, but not completely lost, 

full of sorrow as your body stiffens, 

under the doctor's instructions, you go 

lift the veil of the esoteric art 

lingering in books and squalid basements, 

only when you find a bright studio, 

full of natural light, do you decide 

sleep is not the cousin of death, but breath, 

life is found within your mobility, 

even the corpse pose doesn't sound morbid, 

entering your fifties, time awakens 

possibilities to grow back to health...

Sick Fuck ~ Saturday, 7 December 2019

To pass the time, they would throw knives, 

how no one ever noticed them, 

even the butler paid no heed, 

but when one of the two boys died, 

undertakers fixed him up good, 

the hole in his chest looked painful, 

leave a pretty corpse, as they said, 

everyone thought the other boy 

ripped the dead boy's heart out, I knew 

devil worship took place on high 

inclines, the best place to tempt god-

damn holy men like Jesus Christ, 

it had nothing to do with Christ, 

the Devil...

                  the butler did it. 

Practice ~ Thursday, 5 December 2019

Dear Nancy, 

I never meant to hurt you. I never meant to let you down. I never meant to break your heart. I never meant to disappoint you. You expected me to send you a letter that summer you went away, back home to the country to visit with your grandparents. When you came back in the fall for school, you said you would never speak to me again. It made me sad. But then, I moved on, took more drugs, graduated from high school, and fell completely apart. If it is not too late to say I'm sorry, I apologize, may I do so now, over thirty years later. My regrets are not just my own but for the friendship I squandered by not doing one simple thing, writing you a letter while you were away. My heart remembers what the mind forgets, pushes away in egocentric fits of anger. I am angry at myself, I made a mistake, then continued to make mistakes until I learned how to accept making mistakes as part of the process of understanding what it means to be alive and human. I hope you are well. Peace. 

Best regards, 

Rui

XOXO

Felicity ~ Wednesday, 4 December 2019

Each year I grow older, I get better, 

agile, smarter, faster, it's no secret, 

character does not make the man, 

      I learned 

how to cat! Yes, I have mastered 

      the art, 

yes, and you can learn how to cat, 

      simply 

enter your name, address 

      and phone number 

at the prompt in the fields below, 

      you will 

receive your first lesson on how 

      to pounce, 

I know you will enjoy these informal 

general introductory lessons, quick, 

remain master of your body, before 

old age catches up and you have 

      no time, 

while you still feel limber, can touch 

      your toes, 

old age will bite you in the ass, 

      the dog 

lifts its head to listen, but the cat pays 

diligent attention by ignoring 

edicts from owners who believe 

      they know 

reason and can convince cats with logic, 

I know you know better, learn how 

      to cat

get the most out of life, live forever, 

everyone knows cats have nine lives, 

      to cat 

transports you to a different state 

      of mind, 

believe me, once I learned that I could cat

everything became easier, I used 

to worry about what other people 

thought, but now, I couldn't give 

      a fuck less, 

exactly the right attitude to have, 

right for every occasion, learn to cat. 

Solar Expansion ~ Tuesday, 3 December 2019

the world itself, in itself, does not need 

humanity as a concept of thought, 

eternal as a drop in a rainstorm, 

worry not, something better will evolve, 

on the premise, we are the lesser kind, 

remember for five hundred million years 

life persists until the sun swallows earth, 

despite all my tears no one cares a lick, 

invest in your own future as you choose, 

time is the illusion of conception, 

singularity, multiplicity, 

endless concerns regarding climate change, 

life persists until it comes to a halt, 

forget the future, live for the present. 

2020: The Year of Perfect Vision ~ Tuesday, 3 December 2019

The year 2020, arbitrary 

when considered as a number, the year 

essentially symbolic as for faith, 

notwithstanding as a metaphor, clear 

to perfect vision, simply symbolic 

yet again, but clearsighted for vision. 

Trust the future will soon become the past, 

when all that exists is in the present, 

enter each moment where events happen, 

nothing exists beyond this present tense, 

trust what is past will come again to bite 

your sorry ass until you realize 

As the years pass what we forget returns. 

Perfect vision comes with youth or never, 

enter the year with the right intentions, 

resolve, and clear resolutions to strive, 

fight for something better, the last four years, 

egocentric, egotistical tweets 

create an atmosphere clouded in thought, 

troubled waters agitate the river. 

Vision is for visionaries to see 

imperfect ideas against a background, 

sound, healthy minds lead the people 

      to thrive, 

invitations to the voyage, to sail 

on waves across oceans of light and sound, 

nothing is impossible to conceive. 

This Shit Is Real ~ Tuesday, 3 December 2019

Chicagoans look out for each other, 

how I say these words, 

      smiling through clenched teeth, 

if I lie, the eagle plucks out my eyes, 

cash rules everything around me, 

      money, 

as the root of all evil, is a joke, 

go ask the priests and the pastors 

      who take 

offerings by the basketful at church, 

as the kids on the streets mug 

      the people, 

nothing but thugs in gangs of four, 

      steal shoes, 

smash and grab, roll a lone pedestrian. 

Looking out for Chicago, bullets fly, 

on unsuspecting passersby, at home, 

open windows, closed doors, bloodshed, 

      the dead 

kiss us goodbye with frozen lips, 

      sealed closed, 

in our metropolis, we lookin' out, 

nasty works of the disenfranchised poor 

gun down with disorganized precision 

Opportunity, locked with triple bolts, 

under the rules, systemic racism 

thrived for decades, we put an end to this. 

Chicago ~ Tuesday, 3 December 2019

As I look outside the back door, 

zip up my coat and brace for cold, 

in the winter in Chicago, 

nothing feels warm, not even fire, 

everyone minds their own business, 

forge ahead through wind, rain and snow, 

oh yes, it is the holidays, 

remember the homeless victims, 

as they pepper the streets with salt, 

no one looks out for the helpless, 

dreaming our lives away, our dreams 

banished during winter, to fly 

yonder over the horizon. 

Do It Yourself, be the lookout, 

If you don't do it no one will, 

You can help the hopeless people, 

Chi-town is my adopted home, 

how I chose this over Cali 

is the question everyone asks. 

Mud Pie ~ Tuesday, 3 December 2019

All I ever wanted... 

left alone in my room, 

left to do as I please. 

I can sit here and write, 

ever since I was young, 

versions of my best self, 

ever since my childhood, 

remember the lost souls, 

wanted the best for all 

and all I got was dust, 

not enough to live on, 

too little to dare share, 

everyone wants a slice, 

dust tastes best as dessert. 

In All Sincerity ~ Tuesday, 3 December 2019

I never wanted to be a poet, 

never wanted to write poetry, 

ever aware of the lack of success, 

v is for victory ... and poverty, 

ever aware of the lack of money, 

really, I just wanted to write lyrics, 

wanted to write lyrics for my band, 

and all I could ever write were poems, 

nothing but disappointment in this life, 

to play the drums, be a rock 'n' roll star, 

ever aware of the lack of support, 

did anyone else ever give a shit? 

to have a calling, a vocation, 

only if it were as a surgeon, 

believe me, waking up with a poem 

everyone knows no one will read, to sleep 

and dream I were not forever stuck, 

pity the poor fool who loves poetry, 

only dreamers get lost on the path, 

ever aware of the lack of guidance, 

trapped in a miserable life with this gift. 

Blindness ~ Tuesday, 3 December 2019

Bitch-ass motherfucker, spit in my face, 

one fell swoop, over the top, body slam, 

down to the ground, head first, 

                                    against the curb, 

yellow with cirrhosis, drunk in public. 

Sick bitch, in court, watch the footage replay, 

let the judge and jury decide justice, 

ask the general public who did more harm, 

money matters, black lives matter, say heard. 

The law upholds the status quo, declares 

how we treat each other, society 

enters the picture, as judge and jury. 

Man, as a feeble-minded creature, makes 

arguments, for and against, violence, 

no one in the heat of anger can see. 

Consider Second ~ Monday, 2 December 2019

Consider the distance starlight travels, 

onside the goal is fair, the goal is good, 

nothing comes between me 

      and the green pitch, 

soccer is the only true sport, camels 

in the desert observe sparks of starlight, 

distant, ancient, a forest of redwood, 

eager to run along the path, I itch 

red from head to toe, hungry for success. 

Second place is not first, for gold I fight, 

enter into mortal combat to win, 

consider second place, it is not first, 

only one winner in a race, the sin 

no one considers is to lose, the hearse 

drives slow, inside I rest in formal dress. 

Tried ~ Monday, 2 December 2019

"The Said and the Missaid"

To speak, to say just the right thing, to try 

however often, just to fail...again, 

endlessly, no matter how often dust 

Scatters across my jeans, pick myself up 

and try again, after many attempts, 

if the rope breaks, it must mean something, no, 

deny the basic fact of life, to try 

and fail, we all cannot be a success, 

not everyone can be special, the word 

denotes a unique case, this one fails best, 

to use words, to communicate, to speak, 

however difficult to say the right...

endlessly, I regret conversations, 

Mistakes in practice, we accept in form, 

in theory, these words are just words, spoken, 

said in the heat of argument, we speak, 

say the wrong thing to just the right person, 

and find myself in hot water, trouble 

is, people don't know how to speak, to say 

damn without damage, fail better, ever... 

---

"All of old. Nothing else ever.  Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better." 

~ from "Worstward Ho" by Samuel Beckett