A Miserable Soul ~ Friday, March 31, 2023

"Go away you miserable person."

~ Rebecca Janowitz said to me before getting into a black SUV with Toni Preckwinkle at the corner of 57th Street and Kimbark Avenue, around 6 PM tonight. (March 31, 2023)

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As I brush my hair, is a miserable person what the other sees?

Maybe Professor R÷b÷2×c! J!n[w>tz sees not something I do.

Is slander common on the streets of Chicago by politicians?

Subtle the mind in self-deception, to breathe in politics, a breeze

Entertains people not in the Windy City, hot air, words break wind.

Rest assured, to look wretched, someone to pity, that's what she said, boo.

Ask myself, do what did I to her but say, "Hey," is this conditions

Belligerent talk? Ignored my presence wholesale, went home, brushed my hair.

Lift the spirits high, higher than the stratosphere, view where is an hind

Enable the mind, the mirror is the other, language, light reflects

Speaker to describe the shadow of consciousness, hidden in the depths

Oil and vinegar combine in a pasta bowl, what the heart detects

Under undo stress, let go of the memory, exhale the bad breaths

Let go of labels unkind, know where is an hind, the world is unfair.

Little Firestarter ~ Wednesday, March 29, 2023

I was once a child, no taller than your weak knees, knocking on the door

what could not be seen beneath the scope, the peephole, or the Ring doorbell

as invisible as God to unbelievers, I was once a child

sick to death of life, of my failures and regrets, I became a tool

only from the start, broken for decades inside, the scars never heal

now what is the point in being alive, the joys offer me no perk

coffee falls asleep, espresso stirs a coma, cocaine irons shirts

emptiness, water floats feather light in deep space, a shattered mirror

asks for seven years, an endless cycle of bad luck, why was I born, Bear

chance, a lottery ticket for others to win, worthless inside, look

how they punished me, nobody knows without eyes, ears behind closed doors

if I were a child once, small, practically harmless, why do I wear rouge

lasting permanence, backhand slaps and bloody lips, beautiful hand tools

dripping in pig's blood, I set fire to all of Rome, act out, old Nero

Convoluted Love ~ Friday, March 3, 2023

Made for our recluse, shut out from society, again and again

Invited to play, they couldn't understand her, the way her mind works

Rigorous in thoughts, more like Immanuel Kant than Tom Sawyer, say

Religion took hold as a form of discipline, just sitting, zazen

Ordained as a child, meditation practice helped open up a space

Rest as the one goal, to conserve her energy, as one of her quirks

Energy to sit perfectly still, a mountain, Meru, a good day

Disciplined, a fault no one could break her habits, she was left alone

Decisively set in her ways, she grew older, eminent in grace

Oblique as her room, a mirrored dormer, facing westward into dusk

Rachel, pure as fleece, white as snow but a black sheep as her character

Mirrored the empty-handed practice of her style, she appeared too brusque

Especially when they expected a woman as a corridor

Rooms, a passageway, easy access to entry, not hard as a bone

Even Love Turns Blue ~ Wednesday, March 1, 2023

As you see me here singing these words before you, I am not famous

Singing for the birds, asleep, hidden in the trees, my infamous sneeze

Yellow, a coward, too shy to talk at the bar, but up here, I sing

Of things, I can't bring myself to say in a club, I am not famous

Until I become a star on stage, all the rage, tiger in a cage

Special, they treat me different, as if I were bent, heaven-sent, a breeze

Eventually blows your way, a kiss, did I miss your cheek, cheeky boy, I bring

Everyone new songs to sing along in the car, road trip in summer

Maybe I'm a star, now I don't know where you are, lost, the lights on-stage

Evaporate sweat until I'm cold with the heat, beat, a crumpled sheet

Here I stand and sing, what else did I bring, nothing, I am not famous

Even if the gods could make me rich, what I need is no bitch to beat

Remember, don't be that guy, be chill, drink your fill, I'm not infamous

Even if I were, what would you want with such power, sour, what a bummer

Singing these lyrics, shaking my ass, green as grass, got your attention

Injured little bird, what have you heard on the street, what's the word, absurd

Nothing makes much sense, arbitrary, random thoughts, pass by like the clouds

Green as grass, my ass looks good for a skinny hood, why do you mention

Inside jokes you made with your ex-boyfriend, I care but I'm not famous

Nibble on your ear, what do you hear but his voice, his word, little bird

Green as grass, smoke weed, indeed it's all the rage now, legalize the crowds

Tears fall like the rain in a thunderstorm, I hide, I'm not infamous

Here, up here, on stage, it's all the rage, the dying of the light, heinous

Event, all pent up, what's up little bird, the word of God, heaven sent

Send me an angel, what a joke, I feel so broke, who broke my pool cue

Even love turns blue, microphone cord round my neck, I can't breathe, I'm bent

Worth the tickets, yet, I can't say that it is, bet, even love turns blue

Obey the police, don't be absurd, little bird, I'm not infamous

Remember that time, we got away with a crime, now we got no game

Decisions decide who becomes the bride stripped bare by her bachelors

Strike a pose, even, hey Steven Jay, where's Thurston, with Kim and Lee, no

Beggars choose to lose, from the start, deep in their guts, beaten into shame

Enter the city, the bright lights from down below, gritty, not pretty

Fakers fake a show but that's not me so you know, you know what's the score

Open the back door, Jim Morrison is still dead, back door man, you know

Remember the pen, mightier than the sword, bored, trite little comments

Events tumble out of control, who shot that goal, I suck your titties

Yellow, a coward, is this but a dream, wake up, dumb ass woke as fuck

Oblige my manners, my lack thereof, not polite, I'm not infamous

Under the weather, trite words, the sun always shines above the clouds, duck

I hit the ceiling, then we went on for a bit, I am not famous

Aimless, tit for tat, revenge, sweetest before dawn, these heinous events

Murder is insane but I'm not to blame, the shame, I'm not infamous

Nervous from the start, wound up like a wind-up bird, neither Black nor white

Order in the court, we are no longer on stage, band defunct, so bunk

Trial, on trial, for what, what have I done, innocent, I am not famous

Funny, you can't hear me sing these words, little bird, as I'm in prison

As you know, I'll be out in ten years, see you soon, who will shine the light

Murder, you're insane, I'm in for life, double crossed, dirty rotten punk

Over you, my dear, I learned my lesson, I write lyrics for our son

Unless you know me, everything remains hidden, I am not famous

Symbol of downfall, I am no Manson, not me, I'm not infamous