...
...
Because I could not say goodbye to you that day
even as my brother and our mother had done
could not arrive on time for your open casket
as they say it matters and it does not matter
under circumstances outside of my control
search me why nobody checked your car's battery
even as everyone left in another car
as communication breaks down a family
talks with muted cell phones and arguments later
leave it to my mother to speak truth against love
even she could not hold back her anger my aunt
acted as a witness and my girlfriend observed
shouting and arguments as my mother revealed
that my brother let me become a troubled child
that I was not worthy of their concern as time
heals all wounds they observed me in conspiracy
even as depression and madness took over
pretend your son is not your son pretend to hide
and if he disappears do not complain your loss
simply accept the loss and move on let the past
triumph within darkness your deceit is complete
who single-handedly destroys their own sibling
even if their fortune demands a sacrifice
relief comes late in life as the body changes
even my own madness transformed with discipline
pretend your own sister is not observed by nuns
as schizophrenia inhabited her mind
severed from family living in a convent
the toll anxiety played against my mother
as she watched her own son slowly go mad inside
where no one can find you to help offer you life
as a consolation prize I won amnesty
yes the family leaves me completely alone
---
...
...
...
I was never as bad or as smart as Hamlet
sadly to say madness simply made me silent
as a church mouse and small in the vast universe
yes I affirm the past and confirm the future
---
the Magus of Hyde Park a marathon runner
holds no status other than as human being
even as the ego grumbles under its breath
family and the past mean nothing anymore
under circumstances beyond my own vision
trust became an issue as did money and hope
under my father's house alcohol reigned supreme
reason did not exist nor did understanding
even as I studied philosophy logic
indeed was a tough egg to crack but I did learn
still the rest of the world may or may not adhere
as logic is a game whose rules confuse others
shake off the yoke of youth and accept adulthood
even as a passage into the death cycle
race against the devil and his minions who run
in step to chase my soul to grasp as a plaything
of course the devil is a serious matter
under circumstances beyond Satan's control
silence offers me rest while I breathe in Spirit
minions glorified step alongside my own stride
as we pace mile for mile the length of the whole route
the marathon takes place in October a month
that treasures its demons and the blues musicians
entertaining demons as a sound distraction
remember the deceased and pray for their lost souls
---
...
No comments:
Post a Comment